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Men, (or women) need honest (but nice) advice. Updated in post one

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by ceemys, May 27, 2013.

  1. ceemys

    ceemys Mouseketeer

    I need some constructive criticism. I have had my profile up on a dating site for about 2 weeks and there is zero interest. :(. I have emailed men but none has returned any of my emails. Can you see below and tell me if ther is something you see that is totally off putting? I just don't understand. :confused3. Thanks!
    If I'm not allowed to post this stuff, I apologize. Let me know and I will delete.



    Updated profile below. I removed the first two pictures, changed my expectation to dating and updated the profile.

    HI! I'm A 46-year-old from Fishers, IN. I'm looking for that someone special. I decided to choose "artsy" as my personality, but I don't like to paint myself into a corner on my profile personality.

    I have a great job that I love in software testing. I enjoy movies, bowling, mini golf and sewing, just to name a few things. I love DIY projects. I go to the Colts games often and tailgating is a blast! I also head to a Pacers game every now and then. My goals are to enjoy life and to continue to advance my certifications in my career. I'm not super adventurous on my own but I am willing to try new things with the right person. I am a Mom to my two wonderful kids, 5 and 14, who are great at keeping me on my toes!

    I am looking for that someone special who I can share special moments with, someone to hold hands, someone who is looking for the same.
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  3. kimblebee

    kimblebee <font color=green>now my thoughts will be worth 5

    I'm not a male but I took a look at your profile. The one thing that jumps out at me is the word Princess for personality type. To me, and this is just my opinion, that screams high maintenence. It may be the furthest thing from the truth, but that's what I see.
  4. low-key

    low-key DIS Veteran

    I think it looks good, I like the 2nd two pics and the first 2, not so much
  5. Sgt Mickey

    Sgt Mickey <font color=red>I will always remember where I was

    My first two thoughts were get rid of the princess and show more va va voom:thumbsup2

    Let him know the princess part later.
  6. VAfamily1998

    VAfamily1998 Mouseketeer

    Hi! Also not a male, but things I noticed

    1) I wouldn't have pics of your kids in it--not that it would turn a guy off, but I just think that is better for your kids' safety and privacy.

    2) I think that it is good that you have a shot of your whole body, as well as ones closer of your face. I think even better would be to have some photos that you say when they were taken--like "this is from a party i went to in March 2013". That way guys know the photos are recent.

    Another thought might be to have photos of you doing the things that you like to do, and that the guy could see you doing together. If you like to ski, maybe include a picture of you skiing--especially if it was at a particularly spectacular place. Since you mention you like to do woodwork, if you have pictures of you working on a specific project, etc. Or do you have pictures of you from a Colt's game--wearing a Colt's hat/t shirt/etc.?

    Good Luck! :)
  7. sonnyjane

    sonnyjane DIS Veteran

    Not a male either but that's the first thing that popped out at me too. Princess = high-maintenance and spoiled in guy-speak.
  8. NikitaZee

    NikitaZee Mouseketeer

    Just showed my dh ... he said almost exactly what low-key did, although his advice was don't use the first two pics and leave the second two.
  9. skatalite

    skatalite Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers

    I'm a guy, and I just looked at the screen shots you provided.

    I agree with most everyone else: describe your personality in another way. If I saw "princess" as any woman's personality type, I'd promptly move on to someone else.

    Also, if you're using Plenty of Fish, I suggest trying other sites, especially pay sites. I've had friends use PoF with severely lackluster results. So, it might not be you, it could be them! :D
  10. ceemys

    ceemys Mouseketeer

    Thanks! I didn't think of those. I removed the first two pics. Changed my description to free thinker. ( I really don't fit into one defining character). I will find some pics of me tailgating and I will update with dates.
  11. Feralpeg

    Feralpeg <font color=FF0099>Diet coke lover<br><font color=

    According to my DD, who has used dating websites, Plenty of Fish is not a good site to find a good relationship. She tried it and just got interest from weirdoes. She used E-Harmony and Match and has met some really nice guys. In fact, she has been dating a really nice guy for some time now.
  12. lizabu

    lizabu DIS Veteran

    Not a male either but here are my suggestions...get rid of the Princess bit. Guys read that and hear high maintenance. You said no pets. You're cutting out a huge segment of the population right there. Make things a little more vague. Like you state that you are a regular church goer. That's ok but some people might read too much into it. Like maybe say you're a Christian but you don't want people to think you are a religious fanatic. No group shots. Just pics of you. And they should be flirty pics that show off your best features. Even if you have to get a friend and take a dozen photos until you get two or three hot photos. It's nice to mention you have kids but I would keep that brief too. You want to come off as fun dating material and not as much someone's Mom. Like its great to be a Mom but you don't want that to be all people think of when they see you.

    Good luck. It can be scary to get back out there but you will find your way.
  13. sonnyjane

    sonnyjane DIS Veteran

    I have at least half a dozen friends that got married through match.com!
  14. ceemys

    ceemys Mouseketeer

    I am saving for a house so I really didn't want to spend $60 a month on different dating sites, but I might have to do that. The "no pets" means I don't have them personally. :).

    Maybe say " I go to church regularly" versus every week? Or not mention how often I go at all?
  15. sonnyjane

    sonnyjane DIS Veteran

    Really? If I saw that, I assume it meant you don't want pets, not that you don't have them. Are there other options?
  16. StitchesGr8Fan

    StitchesGr8Fan Mouseketeer

    Agree with using a paid site versus a free site. You read a lot of stories of people who aren't there for the right reasons using free sites. A person who makes the investment of a paid site is more likely to be there to find a relationship.

    FWIW, I found my husband online using a paid subscription site.
  17. skatalite

    skatalite Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers

    The term regularly means "every week" to me, since services are typically once or twice a week for the average church.

    Don't get too nitpicky, because then you'll start seeing problems with your profile that aren't really there. Ya know?

    Speaking of church, though: Some churches here have singles mingle evenings and events. Does your church offer anything like that? Might be worth looking into if that sounds like something that you might like.
  18. emer95

    emer95 Mouseketeer

    I'm not a man, but I hope you don't mind my input.

    I noticed a typo. In your About Me section it says "on my one" and I think you meant to say "in my own."

    You're a very beautiful woman! I honestly thought the last picture was of a different person. You look SO much younger without your glasses! Please don't take that the wrong way! The one pic of you and your (adorable) daughters you have a glare on your glasses that really detracts from your pretty eyes. I noticed that on a picture of myself once, so I started buying anti reflective lenses.
    I hope I didn't say anything hurtful. I sincerely wish you the best!
  19. FireDancer

    FireDancer DIS Veteran

    I'm a guy. Remove princess from the profile. It reeks of high maintenance. Past the age of 7 you should only describe yourself as a princess if someone's death can make you queen.
  20. ceemys

    ceemys Mouseketeer

    Yes. Those are details about me.
  21. skatalite

    skatalite Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers


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