Here's the thing about the "southern gentleman" trait. Its not a cop out and its not about anyone trying to be a "damsel in distress". Its not really even about being southern. Its the way the young men are raised. Its the values that have been instilled in them.
From the time they are small they are taught to look out for or take care of their sisters, female cousins, etc. Then when older, dad may leave the son "in charge" of the house to take care of his mom and sisters.
Princess Dolly, you sound like dd.
She has told many young men that she is quite capable of taking care of herself, tyvm. But, as I have explained to her, its instilled in them. They think they are doing the right thing because of what they have been taught. And of course it ruffles her feathers because of what SHE has been taught. I tell her just to mentally roll her eyes and go with it.
Anyway, the military is pretty good at training all those "home/parent " lessons out of someone so if this trait is being addressed in their training; I imagine they have a pretty good way of getting it out of them.
I will say, though, that the men I know in the military are some of the most protective guys I know and really and truly "southern gentlemen"; so I would really like to find out what they think about this.
As for your reasons for not wanting your sons/daughters in the military. I can understand your value system. But how do you justify that the freedoms you enjoy everyday are DUE to the military that you are speaking against?