Lending money to family

[maxiesmom]

She specifically asked if she was being selfish. If she has the money sitting in her savings account, has a high income (which she said she does) and is living the life style to reflect that high income (which she said she is), then yes, I think she's being selfish. She did ask the question!

I don't think it is selfish to hold the care and well being of her immediate family in higher regard than a sil who is supposedly fearful of losing everything, but still has plans to go to music camp. Sounds like sil needs to grow up and start making some hard choices.

OP-I don't think anyone outside of Michigan gets how much the auto industry affects everything here. I don't know anyone, from salaried workers to hourly workers, who is not concerned about their job. It is very scary!

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I don't think it is selfish to hold the care and well being of her immediate family in higher regard than a sil who is supposedly fearful of losing everything, but still has plans to go to music camp. Sounds like sil needs to grow up and start making some hard choices.

OP-I don't think anyone outside of Michigan gets how much the auto industry affects everything here. I don't know anyone, from salaried workers to hourly workers, who is not concerned about their job. It is very scary!

I would give $2000 to a beloved family member in a heartbeat. EVERYBODY in the country is scared about their future right now--that's not a reason not to help out your family. The OP said she had a high income and a lifestyle to match the income. She doesn't want to give up the $2000 just in case.

Now, if the OP and her husband are not really close to these relatives or don't think they're trustworthy, that's a whole different story. But to HAVE the money and to be able to afford to give it, and to be living a high-income lifestyle and not want to give the money because she doesn't know what the future will hold...none of us know what the future will hold. That's not a good reason to not help out the people you hold near and dear, IMO.

 

[hinodis]

I would give $2000 to a beloved family member in a heartbeat. EVERYBODY in the country is scared about their future right now--that's not a reason not to help out your family. The OP said she had a high income and a lifestyle to match the income. She doesn't want to give up the $2000 just in case.

Now, if the OP and her husband are not really close to these relatives or don't think they're trustworthy, that's a whole different story. But to HAVE the money and to be able to afford to give it, and to be living a high-income lifestyle and not want to give the money because she doesn't know what the future will hold...none of us know what the future will hold. That's not a good reason to not help out the people you hold near and dear, IMO.

Did you not read the part about us owning a business that may very well be struggling seriously in the near future???? Someday I may NEED every penny I have in my savings and it may be very soon!

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Did you not read the part about us owning a business that may very well be struggling seriously in the near future???? Someday I may NEED every penny I have in my savings and it may be very soon!

Yes, I did read that part. I think I do understand--DH owns his own business and there are special risks that go along with being self-employed.

It's the fact that your business is apparently doing well enough that you described yourself as "high income with the lifestyle that reflects it" that makes me question your decision to not give your family the $2000. $2000 isn't that much if you have a high income. And you must not be too worried about the future of your business if you are currently living a high-income lifestyle.

As I said, EVERYBODY is worried about the future, in our present-day economy. Is that a good reason to not help out your loved ones? Only you can decide that, and apparently you've already made your decision.

Really, I can understand that some people can't loan or give money--not everybody can afford to, and I certainly wouldn't recommend loaning or giving money to people you don't love and/or trust. It's your description of yourself as "high income" that made me do a double take on this thread.

 

[tlbwriter]

It is not selfish to take care of your own family's needs first. SIL is not starving. And people who are saying the OP is selfish keep ignoring the fact that if she's telling the truth, SIL does not really need to borrow this money. She says she needs it for her January and February mortgage payments, but she'll have the money in mid-February. So she could make a late payment in February and catch up. If she's telling the truth, that is.