Late people. I hate it!!!

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by shortbun, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. cluvsdisney

    cluvsdisney DIS Veteran

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    ITA! One of the owners of my company always wants to be the last one to show up for a meeting. He has even left the room when he realizes we are waiting for someone else. Then of course we end up waiting for him.
     
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  3. Ginny Favers

    Ginny Favers <font color=green>I told my husband I think they m

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    My MIL is constantly an hour late when she comes to babysit for us. Since she is doing us a favor, we can't really complain, so we've gotten used to telling her to be here an hour before she's actually needed.

    But I really don't understand her mentality. Is it okay in her mind to make others wait? Does she do it at her job? I'm not sure how she justifies it. Actually, she is VERY scatterbrained so I am thinking there isn't a thought process at all... it is just her way of life. At least she is consistent. :)

    ETA: I just got my Christmas card from her in the mail . . . yesterday.
     
  4. lovesmurfs

    lovesmurfs DIS Veteran

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    I hate it, too. My husband seems to always run in this way -- he underestimates the amount of time certain tasks take, which results in his being late for everything. His mother is MUCH worse.

    I was trained by my HS band director, whose mantra was "If you're on time, you're late!" I've tried to get this into my kids -- worked for DD, but DS tends to push the envelope to the edge for everything.

    I've also tried to train them how rude it is to make other people wait for them. With DH and DMIL, I know it's basically just ineptitude. With a number of other people in our lives, it's passive aggressive behavior trying to be in control.
     
  5. JennaDeeDooDah

    JennaDeeDooDah My oh my what a wonderful day!

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    I hate it when people are late. My best friend in high school was always late meeting the rest of us. To me, that just says, "What I was doing was more important than my commitment to meeting you." It says that they think that their time and their priorities are more important than you and your time. So rude! I would often give her a ride to school and she was always running late. I suggested that she wake up earlier and she told me that she physically couldn't get out of bed any earlier. We would be supposed to go to dinner and she was always late. I'd suggest that she turn her clock back 10 minutes and she said that didn't work because she knew she had the extra time. I tried pointing out that no, she doesn't have extra time because that "extra time" is time she is running late. She said that if people really wanted to hang out with her, they needed to realize that she would likely not be on time.:rolleyes2
     
  6. powellrj

    powellrj DIS Veteran

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    My DH is always late. It drives me crazy. I would love to make him wait for me at some point, but it never seems to happen because I am one of those people who will always be early!

    I stopped going to work events with my co-workers because we were always the group they were waiting on to start.
     
  7. lovesmurfs

    lovesmurfs DIS Veteran

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    I also have a problem with meetings at work -- the culture of our office is to set off for the meeting (we have 10 floors) at the time the meeting is going to START. The first month I was at the office, I couldn't understand why I was in a conference room all by myself when the meeting was supposed to have started.

    I've started sending the meeting invite for 10 minutes before I want the meeting to begin.

    Grr.....
     
  8. AndreaDM

    AndreaDM <font color=red>Yeah...we mainly colored that day<

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    OMG, YES! If I say come to dinner at 7, do not arrive a minute before, because I may still be in sweats and running around the kitchen like a maniac. I can't stand people trying to "help", after almost 11 years of marriage my MIL has finally learned to just sit in the living room with her glass of wine until dinner is ready.
     
  9. sndfan

    sndfan Mouseketeer

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    Wow. I have to admit, although I would have been ticked off, there's a time to cut bait. If it was obvious that we weren't expected, I would have left, headed home and caught the second half. I can't imagine running to the grocery store for food, etc unless it was my sister or BFF!!
     
  10. MomNeedsVacay

    MomNeedsVacay <font color=red>was my mom just weird?

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    worst late person story:

    My sister is habitually late---and there is always an excuse. Every. Time. We always lie to her about the start time of family functions. There is nothing to do to change her. She wont change.

    SOOOOO--she and my brother in law decided to throw his mother (my sister's MIL) a surprise, casual 90th birthday party at their home. They didn't send the invite out until 4 days before the party. She calls me and asks if I minded coming a little early to help out and would I mind bringing a small appetizer. She was making chili and it was going to be casual. Sure. No problem. (BTW- I have three children and live an hour away)

    Guests are supposed to be arriving at 4:00 pm, so I tell my husband.. "I don't want us to get there until 3:30 because I don't want to be stuck doing all of the work. But I do want to help my sister out a bit. "

    We arrive at 3:35 pm the day of the party with my appetizer and three children. We walk in the house and its empty. No chili is cooking, nothing is sitting out. Not even a bowl of nuts. There is a stack of napkins in the middle of the coffee table but that's it. I yell for my sister but there was no answer. I call her on her cell. She is at the grocery store getting stuff for the party. Including the makings for chili. Its now 3:40. My mom arrives with an appetizer in hand and my brother in law pops out of the basement with his pajamas on saying that he finished a sign for the party on posterboard that says "Happy 90th, Mom!!" It is now 3:50, my sister calls and asks of her husband has gone to the Liquor store yet for drinks. He says "No--I've been working on a sign!" She says, "nevermind--it'll just be easier if I go there now."
    At 3:55 the door bell rings--the first guest has arrived and they're early. my brother in law asks me to answer the door as he runs upstairs because he "has to take a shower". Guests start to arrive and are introducing themselves to me b/c they think I'm the hostess--and I'm not!! Thank God we at least had the brie pastries and veggie/dip tray that my mom and I brought. at 4:07 my sister runs into the house with her arms full of groceries. She still has to start the chili and put out drinks. It all ended fine but I cannot imagine living my life like that.

    Seriously. This is how they live. It's awful.
     
  11. okeydokey

    okeydokey Frosty the Snowman scared me as

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    And this explains why I am not a late person. It is for my own preservation, as I could not stand inviting that level of stress and rushing around into my life. Maybe some people thrive on it, I don't know.
     
  12. Cannot_Wait_4Disney

    Cannot_Wait_4Disney Ok all you A cattle, get in ...

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    I'm an on time person. Spouse is a late person. If we're meeting for lunch, I say a time 15 minutes earlier than the real time. If we're driving somewhere for vacation, I say I want to leave an hour earlier than I want to leave. I'm going to have to increase that to an hour and a half. If we're hosting a get together, I tell my spouse it's one hour earlier than it is.
     
  13. Cannot_Wait_4Disney

    Cannot_Wait_4Disney Ok all you A cattle, get in ...

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    PixieDuster, this is about the time I would have said Oh. I guess you forgot you invited us and weren't expecting us.... Well some other time then. Sorry to wake you. Then I would have left. It's already awkward and I'd be thinking at that point staying would be more of the same or worse. And as you posted, it was.
     
  14. AndreaDM

    AndreaDM <font color=red>Yeah...we mainly colored that day<

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    Agreed, there's no way in he!! I would have stayed, how awkward for everyone! But then, I can't imagine inviting ANYONE to my home at 9 AM on New Years day for anything! :laughing:
     
  15. 2disneyboys

    2disneyboys DIS Veteran

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    I am an early/on time person. However, if I'm early & its an event at someone's home, I either drive around the neighborhood or park & read my book or something for a bit. I despise people being late. It's a poor use of my time having to wait for them and to me, it's the height of rudeness.. they may as well say thier time is more important than my time. I have actually said this to my sister (one of my habitual late peoples) and she is like, no, its not that, I just always run behind. I asked her if she would be late for a meeting with the President of USA, or a King or a Movie Star & she's like, of course not! and my answer is then, well why is THIER time more important to you than MY time. She looked at me, shook her head, hugged me & said, your right, I'm sorry. That girl has never been late to anything involving me since then... over 5 years!

    This is a big diff between the occassional "opsie" late vs habitual late. Everyone at some point or other has an opsie late.. traffic, unexpected something.. whatever. I do my best to not let this annoy me because things happen but once it becomes habitual, I speak up to the person. I am not a doormat!

    Also, I never "wait" on the late person if I'm serving food or having entertainment. Why should I punish everyone who is on time by having a rushed performance or cold food?.
     
  16. Styx Fan

    Styx Fan DIS Veteran

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    I know I am about to get flamed, but I still want to speak in my own defense.

    I am one of those people of whom who are all speaking with such hostility and contempt. Yup, I run late! Not horribly late like some of these stories, but it is a struggle for me to arrive anywhere on time. Typically it is around 5-10 minutes.

    This is not done in an attempt to be in control of the situation, not out of selfishness or any other passive aggressive motives. It just happens. Usually I end up being like the kids story about giving a moose a muffin. (for those who don't know, it's a series of events that play off the previous event...if you give a moose a muffin he'll want some butter, then he'll make a mess, then he......and ends up back at the beginning). I can think I left adequate time to get out the door....but then I realize I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer, then the phone rings and like a dummy I answer it, the phone call ends up being a doctors office calling about my husbands appt I didn't know he had, on the way to the phone I grab some water and spill it all over myself, then I have to change shirts which then don't match my shoes, etc, etc, etc.

    At times I admit to being disorganized. But apparently not too bad since I always seem to be asked to organize something or other by my friends and co-volunteers.

    If I was perpetually really late to things, I wouldn't blame someone for leaving. But a phone call first would sure be nice. There is no reason to have a stand-off on being rude.

    People who are always early drive me nuts. I see that as a waste of time. While I don't want people to have to wait for me, if you are early aren't you just wasting your own time? Being early is NOT on time and being on time is NOT late. Do not show up at my house early. I will not be prepared for you 90% of the time. You are now cutting into my prep time and stressing me out. That is not a laudable attribute. Our best friends show up early to almost all gatherings. At my house at least they are family and make themselves at home and I will give tasks if there are any to be done. But I have seen them show up early to other homes and then they just make everyone uncomfortable sitting like a lump waiting for the event to begin.
     
  17. AndreaDM

    AndreaDM <font color=red>Yeah...we mainly colored that day<

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    No flames from me, this describes me to a T. Just this morning as I was fixing my coffee for work, it spilled all over the counter and down the crack between the counter and the stove. :mad: So, I just cleaned it up the best I could until I get home tonight, plus I had to make an unscheduled stop at Dunkin Donuts because no one wants to deal with me with no coffee. Fortunately, my job is flexible so if I'm a little late, it's no big deal as long as my work gets done.
     
  18. diznee25

    diznee25 DIS Veteran

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    I had to laugh when I read this, because I used to be the same way. People showing up late really used to get under my skin!

    But we recently moved closer to DH's family, and I've found out that they are all that way. More specifically, my FIL, whom I work with. He's always running 20-30 minutes late. Or he'll call at our appointed time, to say that he can't make it, and needs to reschedule. (That's really annoying!!)

    However, he's a really sweet old guy, (in his 70's), and he doesn't do it to be rude. He's a real estate broker, and that just sort of goes with his line of work.

    But it's taken awhile for me to get used to this. DH and I are very punctual people, so I was a little taken back to know that his whole family are "late" people! :rolleyes: FIL being late is understandable, but when I'm just hanging out with MIL or SILs for lunch or shopping....well you shouldn't be running 20 minutes late all the time for that stuff!

    One thing that's really funny: When MIL invites all of us over for dinner, my SILs are always late. DH and I show up on time, and we're all sitting around the dinner table waiting on SILs.....they always show up 15 minutes later. :rolleyes: Everyone is used to it, so we usually just start eating without them.
     
  19. MomofKatie

    MomofKatie Dairy World? Fairy World! OH, DARN IT!!

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    But, it isn't wasting YOUR time for me to be early. And I am not a person who knocks on someone's door at 6:30 for a 7 o'clock party- I will wait in the car, drive around the block a few times, or run a short errand to fill the time.

    When others show up late (5 minutes or 45), it tells me they think their time is more valuable than mine. If someone doesn't build any "wiggle room" into their preparation time, they end up late, as you state you often are. So, because someone doesn't want to waste their own time arriving early, they end up wasting others time making them wait for them.
     
  20. penn19

    penn19 DIS Veteran

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    My stylist is always late. It started out me getting to my appointment (15 minutes early) and having her text me and say I'm running late. And it happened every single time. So now I don't leave me house until the time of the appointment because sure enough she texts me and says she is running late. She is a little scattered (!), but I like the job she does so I just try and deal with it.
     
  21. MomNeedsVacay

    MomNeedsVacay <font color=red>was my mom just weird?

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    I read somewhere about late people being "Time optimists". THey simply think they can get more accomplished in a shorter period then a realistic time frame. They are often too optimistic about travel time, people's expectations etc....
    I still say RUDE.
     

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