Kids and social media

[roliepolieoliefan]

My DS (16) has facebook, instagram and twitter but rarely uses any of them.

My DD (11) has instagram and snapchat.

 

[Happy Snowman]

Our kids had the available social media accounts before they were 13, ICQ and similar. Facebook really start to become popular until after they were 13 I think...somewhere around there anyway. In all the years they have been on social media, there was ONE instance of drama..and that was back with one of the various chat group things. One of the girls from DD's class signed into a couple other accounts, my DD's included--yes, they shared passwords. She posted some not so nice things about other girls looking like they came from DD's and the other girls. One of the mom's called me and asked me about it, turned out it was her DD that was doing the nasty posts and she posted some things about herself to hide her involvement. Luckily the program was set up that it saved any postings to our computer (back when everyone only had one computer LOL) and we could prove that our DD was not involved (and the other parents were able to do the same). We monitored their use early on. They rarely use FB but use Snapchat, Instagram, etc. FB is mostly used for group activities, etc. but less and less so. I agree that Facebook as evolved into more of a parent/grandparent media source.

 

[havaneselover]

My 6th grader has none of the above. She also is pretty much the only 6th grader we know without a phone. (We live in an upper middle class area and most of the girls she knew got Iphones for their 5th grade graduation gift).

My DD is allowed to text close friends and relatives using her ipod touch. She also can email using her school computer. Luckily she's a pretty easy kid and hasn't fussed about not having what everyone else has.

 

[SallySkelington]

Honestly I gave up most social media a long time ago. My twitter account is dead and I deleted my facebook twice. There is just too much drama and even if I did have it, I'd never post. The only social media that I'm actively on still is Tumblr (drama free and addicting). And I suppose GoodReads if that counts... does that count?

My younger sister is all over social media though. FB, Instagram, Snapchat... etc. You Name it she's probably been on it at some point. The only she doesn't like is Tumblr.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

When my kids were that age, they didn't have social media accounts. I didn't want to deal with all of the drama.

Heck, my 15 year old DD still doesn't have any for the same reason - she said she doesn't want to deal with more drama, there's enough in school as it is.

My 19 year old has had social media accounts for a couple of years now. He doesn't use FB much - only to keep us updated on what he's doing fun and that's about it. He barely uses twitter either. He said he's just too busy in college to do much posting.

 

[PollyannaMom]

DS is 14 and hasn't asked for Facebook. He does have Instagram, and wanted one called Vine a while ago. We put him off the first time, because we thought he was too young, but will let him if/when it comes up again.

 

[slo]

My 11yr old has an Instagram account, of which I see everything that happens on it.
She will not be allowed to have a facebook page for a couple years.
I'm not worried about what she will do with it (she's incredibly responsible) - I'm worried about it being a distraction.
When she learns how to budget her time with homework and softball (she does a good job now, but school will be getting nothing but harder) than I will allow her to have a facebook page.

My 16yr old wasn't allowed to have a Facebook or Twitter until the end of her 8th grade year - she was 14 1/2.
She also has an Instagram, Vine and Tumblr account - all of which I watch very closely

 

[slo]

DS is 14 and hasn't asked for Facebook. He does have Instagram, and wanted one called Vine a while ago. We put him off the first time, because we thought he was too young, but will let him if/when it comes up again.

Remember....Vine has no privacy settings, so everything is public.
My DD was putting harmless videos on her account that were made in our house, and I had her erase them when I found them, because I told her that even thought the videos were innocent, they showed our house, our possessions, her sister and etc. She agreeded and erased them

 

[HM]

When my kids were 13, they did not have any social media accounts.

In HS, some of their teachers contacted the kids through Facebook groups, so they had to get accounts at that point.

I'm friends with both my kids on Facebook (19 and 21 yr old). The oldest doesn't use his account anymore and my youngest only reads it when she's on computer (disabled the app on her phone) so isn't on it that much. She does use Pintrest, Instagram, and SnapChat a lot.

 

[mom2rtk]

Am I the only one thinking that new poster works for the company she just linked?

 

[PrincessV]

This is an interesting thread! My about-to-be-13-year-old has no social media accounts... he has absolutely NO interest in them. I've asked and he says none of his male friends do, either, only some of the girls. He also has no interest in trading in his flip-phone for something fancier and I'm doing well to get a 2-word reply when I text him lol! Things must be very different in different areas.

 

[SEA333]

Another thread got me thinking. Do your children under 13 have social media account. FB twitter etc.

Yup. DD (5th grade) has Instagram. Monitored by me. She called a boy a dumbs**t once because he called her a bad word because she told him that he was a liar about something blah,blah,blah, and we deleted him. And had a long chat about how to present yourself on social media appropriately.

Another boy requested to follow her, and she accepted and requested to follow him. The next day at school he asked her why she did that and if she was stalking him. She was so embarrassed. We deleted him. Problem solved.

No second chances in my social media world. One post/quote/response/etc I don't like and poof - gone forever.

All DD's class (pretty much) have Instagram. They use it to keep up with each other. I just told DD the other day that I am glad she is the age where parents/teachers/schools/etc are more aware of social media and do a better job at teaching kids how be behave on it. 5 years ago when older DS was that age, nobody talked about it. Cyber-bullying was at an all-time high. In our school, at least, parents are staff are really good about teaching and monitoring the kids' accounts and actions.

Older DS (9th grade) hates social media....He liked a girl in 6th grade when we first moved here and one of the bullies in his class (who pretended to like DS so he would accept his friend request) jumped in the middle of a thread between my son and this girl and tried to humiliate him. We deleted DS's account and went to the school with it, where of course, the principal said that he wasn't going to get involved. That same principal now, 5 years later, is heavily involved in social media communication and guidance. DS has to have at least one or two social media accounts now because of a particular college scholarship avenue he is pursuing. He was told it was important to establish an online presence because those who award the scholarships want to see the character of whom they are considering.

It's here to stay....I think that around 5th grade (10-11 years old) is a good time to get kids used to social media with parental guidance before turning them loose into it at 13.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

DD is in 6th grade, and she has Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Facebook is used 95% to communicate with grandparents and to see the pictures I post. Only one or two of her friends have accounts.

Instagram is her favorite, and she does have a few friends there. Her friends keep it clean though - if I know their parents, they are watching as closely as I am.

I don't think she ever logs into her Twitter.

 

[scrapquitler]

No. I made my daughter wait until she was 14 to get a facebook account. My son is now 12 and he doesn't have any social media accounts except for Club Penguin and Webkinz, but he hasn't used either of those in well over a year.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Kik and instagram are how kids arrange social activities and homework assignments, notes etc. So from the time my girls got their iPods (I think they were 11 and 12) they signed up. They also signed up for Facebook accounts to play a couple of harmless games, but they don't really use FB much at all. They use snapchat to send photos they took at various events to those friends who couldn't be there. We have lots of conversations about what's appropriate or not to send, and they seem to take me seriously when I say they can't have any friends they don't know personally. They honestly have so many friends already that they do know (from school, sports, the club etc.), they don't seem to care about trying to add people they don't know.

My son only has Facebook, and he only signed up for that when he was about 14. He isn't very social in that way, and wasn't interested before. Now he just shares fishing videos, funny animal videos etc., and keeps up to date occasionally with who's going to play paintball or some other thing.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Remember....Vine has no privacy settings, so everything is public.
My DD was putting harmless videos on her account that were made in our house, and I had her erase them when I found them, because I told her that even thought the videos were innocent, they showed our house, our possessions, her sister and etc. She agreeded and erased them

Thanks for that info! If/when he gets that, we'll have that talk ahead of time.

 

[mnrose]

I answered "no" although both my children are now 15. They were NOT permitted to have any social media accounts until they turned 13. It was an exciting time for my DD, especially, when she was "finally" old enough to get an account.

For me, it was about teaching them to comply with the reasonable rules of others. All those social media accounts require users to be over the age of 13. Their "playground", their rules. It's that simple.

 

[aprilchem]

No - my oldest is 10, though. None of my kids (10, 8, 5) have access to the internet (or phones, or TV) at all.

 

[ten6mom]

No, but both my kids (currently 8 and 10) have had iPods for a couple years now and technically I think they're supposed to be 13 for that since they have to set up an Apple ID and all (which includes an email account).

 

[Prose]

A word of advice from a parent who has a kid who has made her share of mistakes on social media. Do not assume because you follow your child on Instagram or are friends on Facebook that you know what is happening. Remember that both of those apps have private messaging. Make sure you know your child's log in and password, and check the private messages on a regular basis. Review who follows him/her and who your child follows. If they are adult or much older, block them. Make sure cell phones are charging in your room at night, not theirs. Your kids may be responsible, but you'd be amazed at the number of kids who are awake and snapchatting at 2am.

Social media can be fun and harmless, but there is a dark side, too, and for kids who think everyone is good and who are a little impulsive, it can be a dangerous thing. Not trying to sound paranoid or alarmist, just speaking as a parent of a teen who has been through the wringer in the past 6 months - thanks in part to things that happened on social media.