Is it just me??

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by ilovedisney1982, Feb 21, 2013.

  1. Turn the Page

    Turn the Page DIS Veteran

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    I agree with the majority of the previous posters. I do not like pageants for young kids at all. I will admit, I do like to watch the Miss America pageant for the entertainment value. I still think it is disturbing but at least it isn't for young kids.

    When DD was a baby whenever I saw one particular mother while doing the day care run she would always tell me I should put her in pageants because she was so cute. Ummm.....no. I think they are disturbing at best and disgusting and damaging at worst. I see absolutely no redeeming qualities in pageants for anyone under the age of about 16 and even then the only redeeming quality is scholarship money but I suspect if the parents had saved all the cash they had spent over the years on putting their kids in pageants they would have double or triple the money the kid won in scholarships anyway.

    It's a waste of time and money and has got to be a massive self esteem killer.
     
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  3. scoutie

    scoutie DIS Veteran

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    I guess parents have to ask themselves why they're putting their kids in pageants. Is it really for the kid's benefit? I can't see much point in them. I also agree they are a waste of time and money. That money would be better invested in the kids' future eduation. I think it sends a bad message to kids about their worth.
     
  4. The Mystery Machine

    The Mystery Machine Sunrise at my house. :+)

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    Short answer....because you talk about it.

    Stop talking about it! Problem solved.

    If they ask, blow off the question.

    You have to use self discipline and resist the urge to talk about your dd and pageants with people that disapprove of them, esp. with your parents and IL's.

    Zip it.;)
     
  5. DLgal

    DLgal DIS Veteran

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    I think pageants are the ultimate form of attention seeking behavior for PARENTS. I find them disgusting, particularly the idea that there are men who attend these pageants and ENJOY them. Gross!

    Nothing good ever came from beauty pageants. Nothing.

    And, yeah, I totally agree that participation in these types of pageants will likely lead to "16 and pregnant" scenarios in the future. Why would that be such a stretch? These girls spend their childhoods being rewarded for looking a certain way. When they stop doing pageants, they are going to look for another way to get the attention they are used to. And, lucky for them, they already have a lot of practice dressing "sexy." :sad2:

    Parents who do this are pathetic. In every way.
     
  6. StitchesGr8Fan

    StitchesGr8Fan DIS Veteran

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    I never agree with the "doing such and such for the scholarships" argument.

    You have no guarantee that spending $15000 a year on a sport or activity is going to lead to a scholarship. If you invested that money over 10 years you'd be guaranteed to have enough for college.

    Now if the child truly loves doing something and you have the means to pay for it, then I think it's ok to spend what you can afford on it. And if your kid is one of the lucky ones to get a scholarship from it? Bonus!

    Pagents also have a low investment/return ratio. Yes, your kid won $500-$2000 dollars. You probably spent $5000 to get that $2000 when you factor in the cost of costumes, makeup, flippers, hairpieces, travel, and coaching.
     
  7. luvsJack

    luvsJack DIS Veteran

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    DD has never done pageants, so I don't know that much about them but I am going to guess that Toddlers and Tiaras is as "factual" about the pageant world as Dance Moms is about the world of competitive dance.

    As for the make-up, hair, etc.--all that is done in dance from the time they are very young. (or at least it was when dd was in dance) I don't see the difference on THAT. I don't like the flippers, but maybe I would feel different if dd was actually in that world. Costumes can sometimes be a bit questionable in dance as well. I wouldn't go spend the kind of money the pageant moms do on one dress, but again, that's just me. A lot of people wouldn't pay the kind of money we do for a school activity so who am I to judge?

    All that said, as in any thing else involving kids; its more about how the child is parented than it is about being in a pageant. The kids that act like brats and think the world revolves around them are that way because their parents allow them to act that way.

    As for as what good it does. Well, if a girl grows up being in pageants, when she gets to the age of being in some that will win her scholarships and such; she has a leg up on the competition. And at that point it stops being about "just looks". Actually, I have seen some very young girls win pageants and had to agree that it wasn't just about looks then either.

    And the kids do learn poise and grace. As for the competition, I don't see it as that much different than anything else. I have seen boys kick and scream at losing a baseball game. Some kids handle it better than others.

    Oh, and OP you say she doesn't like practice but does great at the pageant. From the time DD was 3 years old and in dance, she HATED all the practice and work but LOVED to perform and always did well. She finally learned that if she wanted on that stage, she had to go through all the work to get there.
     
  8. Hrhpd

    Hrhpd DIS Veteran

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    I can't say I dislike pageants for the makeup as my daughter is in cheer and I have seen some pretty gaudy makeup that some teams do. However, the sport is trying to get away from any kind of pageant look and frowns on anything but natural looking stage makeup, revealing uniforms, etc. Of course, there are always teams made up of the Toddler and Tiara crowd such as the ones on Cheer Perfection. However, they are hardly representative of the sport in general.

    What I don't like about pageants is that it reinforces the old female stereotype of using your wiles to get ahead instead of your brains. A cute smile, a wink, a flirty attitude. There is no team work, no athletics, nothing involved but what is on the outside.

    Even the pageant pictures are doctored to make one have bigger eyes, brighter smiles, etc. Pageant pictures are almost creepy in the way they have been photoshopped. What does this teach girls? Even your pictures are not good enough?

    It teaches girls that what is important is what is on the outside, not what is on the inside.

    And what about the girls that lose? You can train harder in athletics to get better. You can't "get" prettier. It gives a message that one isn't pretty enough. I would love to see the statistics of eating disorders amongst pageant girls.

    There are other ways to learn grace and poise. Any sport with teamwork will teach a young lady how to work with others and how to win with grace and how to lose with grace. You want poise, the forensics team is much better. You use your brain to debate and learn public speaking.
     
  9. Granny square

    Granny square Always planning a trip!

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    So it is ok to sexualize a young lady but you also believe is purity ring concepts? I don't understand how that computes.

    Dress up like a hooker, strut around encouraging fantasy but don't act on any of it. :/
     
  10. njmom47

    njmom47 <font color=blue>He's such a fiend!<br><font color

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    T&T probably makes glitz look much worse than it really is (it can't be as bad as they make it out to be, right?:rolleyes:) but I suppose natural might be acceptable, as long as there is a talent section. That way maybe it evens out: you're judged on your natural beauty as well as a talent. All that fake stuff and the girls don't even look like themselves!

    (This is coming from a mom who encouraged her dd19 to enter a contest based strictly on "hotness" and she made it all the way..sorry!! DD also did allstar cheer with insane makeup and mini-costumes :rotfl2:)
     
  11. wvjules

    wvjules DIS Veteran

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    Google search for Glitz pageants images....ick! Why would anyone want to dress their child up like that? It's disgusting and perverse! OMG!

    Glitz images
     
  12. HM

    HM My tag from the Tag Fairy is now too long to use.

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    I imagine that at this age, she might be ready to pursue some other things and doing pageants is keeping her from doing them. Have you offered her other choices of activities? She might like piano lessons, soccer or tennis, martial arts, photography, girl scouts, etc. I think it's important to let kids try many things while they are young so that they can pick and choose what to pursue. If she's been doing the same thing for 9 years, it's mostly impossible for her to make choices. Give her some choices and see what happens.
     
  13. Minnesota!

    Minnesota! Shoeless in Minnesota

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    :thumbsup2

    You asked for honesty - I think pageants...of any kind, for kids...are beyond trashy. I would NOT want my kid exposed to them, at all, so I would have never started to begin with.
     
  14. MotifNumberOne

    MotifNumberOne Mouseketeer

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    Honestly, I think that if you are dressing up your daughter in a way similar to the awful photos we have all seen, you are objectifying her sexually. You are plastering her with over the top makeup and clothing and parading her around asking her to perform for an audience like a pony in a circus. You said that where you are from everyone participates in these things, maybe you have been too immersed in the culture of it all to be able to have an outside perspective regarding the lunacy of pageantry, but most of the world outside of Arkansas say shame on you.
     
  15. MotifNumberOne

    MotifNumberOne Mouseketeer

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    That being said, I'm moderately sure you're a troll, so enjoy the thread!
     
  16. Hrhpd

    Hrhpd DIS Veteran

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    OP - if you are really curious if your daughter wants to continue, why not give her an out and see how she reacts?

    Casually mention that pageants are becoming too expensive and that you might have to take a break from them. If she is upset, you can tell her you made a mistake in the budget or something. If she is relieved, you have your answer.

    One of my kids did a sport from the time they were 8 into college. It earned a scholarship, so was productive.

    However, the kid recently told me that although the sport was liked, it was not loved. And that they stayed in it because they thought I enjoyed it as I was on the board, volunteered, etc. I had said over and over and over that "you can quit anytime, this is your sport, not mine." However, that fell on the deaf ears of a child. All that was processed was seeing Mom all involved. And believe me, I would have welcomed him quitting as 10 years of involvement was getting tiresome.

    So, you may be telling your daughter she can quit, but she may have some of her own quirky ideas on who she is pleasing. Give her an "out" and see how she reacts.
     
  17. Granny square

    Granny square Always planning a trip!

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    Lol. I tend to assume troll always when the subject is a hot mess. That doesn't mean the topic isn't interesting.
     
  18. luvsJack

    luvsJack DIS Veteran

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    :lmao: Like I said, dd is not in pageants. She was in dance at one time--ballet, tap and hip hop. Now she is in Show Choir.

    Not sure what it is that you feel sexualizes--is it the costumes, the make up, or their presence on stage?

    The dresses they wear do not sexualize them. So maybe the costumes for their talent or whatever its called. I haven't seen any that are so different than a lot of dance costumes or cheer uniforms (and very young girls are getting into cheer these days). Or maybe its the make-up, well it stands to reason that if a child is in a beauty contest that make up is going to be used on stage--same for dance and competitive cheer. Some too much and over the top and some not so much. Make up has to be worn pretty heavy to show up under those lights.

    How does it compute? One has nothing to do with the other.
     
  19. Turn the Page

    Turn the Page DIS Veteran

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    I would like to preface this by emphasizing that I am not suggesting every single pageant girl is an idiot.

    That being said, does anyone remember about ten years ago or so the Miss America pageant added some sort of quiz portion to the final competition? I just remember thinking it was hysterical that the organization says the stereotype that beauty queens are stupid is a bad rap and they are actually really smart, accomplished young women and blah blah blah. I assume they did the quiz portion that year to provide support for their position.

    The quiz was given to the ten finalists and I believe there were ten questions. I wasn't even thinking about the questions and got eight correct with no trouble. I think one, maybe two, of the contestants got eight right. The only question they all got right was the question asking where the next summer Olympics would be held. These were not difficult questions. However, the five or however many that made it to the next round only answered two or three of the ten questions correctly. So basically, the organization argues that they are beautiful, intelligent, accomplished young women and then the ones that the move to the next round are the biggest airheads and morons left. Smooth.

    Mmhmm.....yeah those girls were Rhodes scholars in the making. They only did that portion of the pageants once. Maybe because it made the entire pageant industry look like idiots? I don't know but it sure was funny.
     
  20. Praying Colonel

    Praying Colonel DIS Veteran

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    Ssssshhh...remember the 1st rule of Toddler Fight Club....
     
  21. StitchesGr8Fan

    StitchesGr8Fan DIS Veteran

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    So OP, what are your thoughts after reading all of these posts?

    And kudos to the Disers for giving their opinions without attacking anyone on this controversial topic.
     

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