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Is it just me??

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by ilovedisney1982, Feb 21, 2013.

  1. ilovedisney1982

    ilovedisney1982 Loving Disney Every Day!

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    Okay, so lately, I have been getting lots of criticism as to entering my daughter in pageants. It has always been that way. DH's parents disapprove and my parents couldn't hate it more. What is so bad about glitz pageants?! People saying that Toddlers and Tiaras is a prequel to Sixteen and Pregnant?! That is an extremely stereotypical show. Toddlers and Tiaras is MEANT to make parents look crazy. Glitz pageants teach poise, passion, and grace! What is the big fuss?! Just about every girl in Sherwood has competed in at least 5 or 6 pageants. AT LEAST. I'm pretty sure DD likes them. We have been doing the since she was about 2 or 3 months old. What is the big fuss?!?! Seriously, why am I getting criticized for this?? Is it only me?!?! :confused3:confused3
     
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  3. StitchesGr8Fan

    StitchesGr8Fan DIS Veteran

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    I have mixed feelings on pageants.

    The good - kids are taught poise, get to showcase talents.

    The bad - they are being judged on looks (including weight as they get older), and some kids get an overinflated ego that the parents reinforce, making their kids brats.

    I guess as long as a child's identity isn't based around being in pageants it's not so bad. But I know quite a few women who grew up in pageants thinking they were better than others, and real life has not been good to them. You can also tell the pageant moms who feel badly about themselves and are living through their kids.

    I don't agree with putting a child in as an infant, or even before they can express if they want to be in a pageant. The parents are doing that for their own benefit, to hear how cute their kids are.
     
  4. StitchesGr8Fan

    StitchesGr8Fan DIS Veteran

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    Oh, and don't get me started on parents that put their kids inappropriate costumes and have them do vulgar dance moves like they are college kids in a club. Judges should take off points for that.
     
  5. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

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    I have no use for any pageants with little girls wearing makeup and hair extensions. It's absolutely bizarre. Same goes for BABIES or toddlers. When a child is old enough to at least walk and talk and have a discussion with their parents about whether or not it is something the child WANTS to do, then have at it.
     
  6. wdwmom0f3

    wdwmom0f3 Thankful my embarrassing tag is gone!

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    I think they are a complete waste of time and money. :duck:
     
  7. Mickey'snewestfan

    Mickey'snewestfan DIS Veteran

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    I want to be clear, that I'm only answering this because you asked directly. I would never tell someone that the hobby they chose for their child is wrong, unless it was something like Toddler fight club or the Jr. lodge of the KKK.

    However, glitz pageants, as I understand them, aren't something I'd choose for my hypothetical daughter. For my family, I worry that the message they give is that appearance is what's important. I also think that there are some unfortunate messages about money in the pageant world, where people seem to (I admit, I don't know much) spend a lot of money on things like fancy dresses.

    You mention poise, passion and grace. To me poise is about how you act under pressure. An ER doctor who stays calm and thoughtful and deliberate while dealing with a gunshot room, demonstrates the kind of poise I want my child to have. I think that's a very different kind of poise than you get from being on stage. To me passion is important, but I think there are many other, more wholesome, activities that can teach that. As for grace, grace is about how you treat others, not just about how you move or perform.

    I can imagine researching it and possibly allowing my daughter to compete if she came to me and begged, but I can't imagine bringing the idea to her in any way. It would have to come 100% from her.
     
  8. Buckalew11

    Buckalew11 2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!

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    Hmm...you sound like you are asking and want answers...so, I'll share my opinion. I dislike pageants for girls or boys, for any age. I have a client who started doing them in college and her mom and I joke about it sometimes--she is NOT a pageant mom, lol. As a hairdresser, I've met many pageant moms over the years--the TV shows them to extreme but pretty typical, imo. I don't do pageant hair anymore--once I owned my own business and could pick and choose, I stopped taking them.

    My biggest deal with them is I do not think kids should be judged on their looks--even with fake teeth, fake hair, fake tans and makeup to enhance. Teach girls to be strong and smart-- worry less about the "princess" in you. That's just how I feel, YMMV.
     
  9. twinboysmom

    twinboysmom DIS Veteran

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    Sorry Op, but you asked. I think they are awful, particularly the infant/toddler pageants. They are somewhat common in my neck of the woods as well. I try not to judge other parents because I really don't want others to judge me but this is one of those things I have a hard time with. I agree with Jennasis, when they're old enough to truly want to do it and parents have the income so that it's not being taken from college savings, etc., then that's another story. And IMO, the glitz are the worst.
     
  10. dakcp2001

    dakcp2001 <font color=darkorchid>Am I wrong to want a cashie

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    I think they teach children that shallow values are important. They are not age appropriate, kids that age should not be in makeup,hair extensions, fake tan, and fake teeth. That is not real beauty everything on them is fake. Children should not grow up learning that thy need all of that o be beautiful it sends all the wrong messages. They lose their individuality, trying to imitate the perfect pageant robot with a fake smile. Ick.
     
  11. tar heel

    tar heel <font color=royalblue>Where will we get our news i

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    Your child is 10 and you're "pretty sure" she likes being in pageants?:confused3
     
  12. NYEmomma

    NYEmomma DIS Veteran

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    ITA. Completely inappropriate. I have a 4yo DD so she's at the age, I think, to be able to ask to do something if she has an interest in it... if she asked me to do pageants, I'd do everything I could to dissuade her from it, possibly even put my foot down and just give a cut & dry, "no, it's not happening".
     
  13. smitch425

    smitch425 DIS Veteran

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    If the pageants are judged on God-given NATURAL beauty then I don't see an issue with them. If the pageants are the kind with fake teeth and fake hair then I think they are disgusting. Those parents might as well come right out and tell their kid "Sorry, Sweetie, you are too ugly to win without all of this extra stuff I make you wear so go out there and act like you are worthy." :crazy2:

    Modeling is a better way to go. I did it back in the day and my cousin is a model. Much classier than pageants, IMHO.
     
  14. LiveYourLife

    LiveYourLife Living in the Chiefs Kingdom

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    The rule, people. ;)

    OP, your daughter is 10, no (I'm going by your signature)? So pretty much her whole life, she has been involved in pageants - and you are just "pretty sure" DD likes them. Sounds like there is some doubt in that statement. Maybe DD tells her Grandparents that she doesn't like them and is afraid to tell you?
     
  15. ilovedisney1982

    ilovedisney1982 Loving Disney Every Day!

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    I'm not 100% sure if DD fully enjoys them, but she is very happy when she wins. She sends me mixed feeling. Screams and kicks like a 5 year old before practice but shows up on pageant say and rocks it! I don't know. She has basically been raised in pageants...
     
  16. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

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    Any minute now Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out and tell us we've been punk'd. Right? Please?
     
  17. Buckalew11

    Buckalew11 2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!

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    I thought of that also. Plus, since both sets of grandparents dislike it, I am sure they are thoroughly embarrassed, especially nowadays, because if people have never been to a pageant, the only ones they have seen are on TV and so that's what people think you do--and if it is glitz, I guess it IS what you do. I'd be mortified if my daughter had a child and put them in pageants (I know I'd need to deal with it, but I'd be mortified.)

    I went to a glitz pageant last Spring at our mall. I actually went because the girl my BIL is involved with has an aunt whose dd does pageants so I was playing PI. I thought I'd walked into the TV channel (TLC?)--wow, I'll be nice and stop because I HAVE seen the movie "Bambi"...
     
  18. Minerva Mouse

    Minerva Mouse DIS Veteran

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    Personally, I don't like them. IMO a pageant where you do anything other than showcase exactly what your mama gave ya, is just false advertising. I wanna see a pageant that has real women, no veneers, no false eyelashes, no extensions or weaves, no fake tans, no fake chest, no butt implants, no liposuction or calf implants. No face lifts, or nose jobs, or lip injections, no artificial nails and no color contacts.

    What happened to natural beauty, I so look forward to that trend again!
     
  19. StephMK

    StephMK DIS Veteran

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    Toddler Fight Club - that made me LOL :rotfl:

    ITA. There are other ways to develop those qualities.

    I admit that I am not familiar with them enough to know but it does not appear that anything other than "traditional/old fashioned" beauty is favored. Big hair, shiny clothes, lots of makeup.

    I find it curious that you're *pretty sure* she likes them. If she's the 10 yo in your sig, haven't you talked about it at all?

    I can't see how trying to look older & glam with all the fake accessories creates a healthy sense of self. I don't knock others for their choices (some of them do look adorable) but it's personally not something I would allow for my kids. They also don't wear clothes that make them look too old or watch shows/movies far above their maturity levels.

    Luckily, we've never lived somewhere where it was popular but I can see where kids/parents might be more interested if it's something a lot of kids do in the area.
     
  20. Minerva Mouse

    Minerva Mouse DIS Veteran

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    Ditto, I've been waiting for someone to post the pot stirring smiley. But I took the bait anyway, I've been out for a while, lol.
     
  21. ilovedisney1982

    ilovedisney1982 Loving Disney Every Day!

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    Well, she has never openly told me "Mom, take me out of pageants", and I am very clear with her that if she ever feels as if it is necessary that she should stop pageants, she can come to me. Again, she rarely says "I love pageants I want to be Miss Universe!!". That's why I get mixed feelings.
     

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