I think i am being rude but don't know what else to do

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by tinkerbellandeeyor, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. tinkerbellandeeyor

    tinkerbellandeeyor DIS Veteran

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    I attract (sp) the weirdest people on the bus when I commute daily so I stared listening to my music a little louder then I normally would. They ask the kind of questions that could endanger me and my loved ones like they location not just that work with pre k kids. So I am I doing the right thing by making sure I can't hear them?
     
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  3. turkeymama

    turkeymama DIS Veteran

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    Oh no. That sounds awkward, lol. I would probably do the same thing, or pretend I'm on the phone. I guess you can't really pretend to be on the phone every day during your entire commute though.

    My sister and I often say the same thing about the type of people we attract. People just want to open up to us and talk to us like we are therapists.
     
  4. Lorelei Lee

    Lorelei Lee DIS Veteran

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    They are being rude by asking the too-personal questions and you have every right to ignore them. If putting on your headphones and listening to music helps you to ignore them, that is fine. I frequently listen to music on the train so that I don't have to listen to other people talking. Headphones on, kindle open, no one is going to try to talk to me.


    What isn't ok, though, is playing your music so loud that it leaks out and bothers others.
     
  5. disykat

    disykat DIS Veteran

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    I think the best way to deal with it would be to learn to say "Thanks for your interest, but I don't give out personal information" or even "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in talking right now." People don't always understand boundries and it's okay to simply be firm about what is appropriate and what isn't.

    I think it's fine to listen to your music or read a book, but you shouldn't have to have it uncomfortably loud to signal you aren't available for converstaion. You can tell them!
     
  6. sissy_ib

    sissy_ib DIS Veteran

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    OP, I totally understand this one. I used to take public transportation to/from work. I was usually reading a book or doing a puzzle, so that helped because people wold not bother me when I was doing something. It was when I didn't have anything that people would talk to me. One time I just lied to this guy and made up a life store. lol Most of the time I would be real vague in my answers. Like if someone asked where I worked I would say "downtown". Just keep your headphones on and hopefully most people will leave you alone.
     
  7. funkychunkymonkey

    funkychunkymonkey DIS Veteran

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    not rude at all! I had a guy the other day sit down by me and just stare at me at the bus staion. He was creeping me out so I moved next to a elderly gentelmen. this guy then sits down beside me on the bus and PETS my leg till i finally got irrated and told him my stop was comming up and moved away. One more reason to leave my bag on the seat beside me!
     
  8. tinkerbellandeeyor

    tinkerbellandeeyor DIS Veteran

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    I tried reading and it does not work they will just ask about what I am reading and then they will start asking the personal questions
     
  9. Eeyore'sthebest

    Eeyore'sthebest DIS Veteran<br><font color=darkorchid>Not So Tagle

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    Head phones on (big ones, not ear buds), open a book even if you are not reading. You can pretend to be reading and just turn a page now and then. If someone tries to talk to you just point to your head phones and keep "reading". Ignoring is the best way to go!! I hate public transportation.
     
  10. MIGrandma

    MIGrandma Lives in the middle-of-the-mitten.

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    I don't think you're rude at all.

    I finally had to ignore someone at the doctor's office the other day. When I came in I went to the window to check in and also told her my husband's pravastatin prescription needed renewing. As I turned to go sit down, a guy asked me a question about the pravastatin. No problem, I answered it and proceeded to sit down a few chairs away from him (I like my space). I opened my purse and took out my kindle and opened it and started reading.

    He proceeded to tell me every single medication he had to take. I politely nodded my head, smiled and went back to my kindle. Thought he would get the hint, but no. He kept talking. :(

    I didn't want to be rude to him, but when he started telling me that medicaid was such a "wonderful thing to have" and that he'd had "dozens of surgeries that amounted to millions of dollars but he didn't pay a cent" I did just ignore him and stopped answering him.

    I never understand people that just keep yapping away when they can plainly see someone is either reading or listening to music, and it's obvious they don't want a conversation.
     
  11. newt2

    newt2 Mouseketeer

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    It's always awkward when you get cornered by some crazy guy while out somewhere.

    I was at McDonalds for lunch last week and some guy just started in on me about Ronald Reagan and Star Wars, The secret CIA death ray that they used to bring down the twin towers and the alien technology that our government has uncovered. It's like the guy watched every History channel conspiracy show and lumped them all into his brain as one thought.

    After a few minutes I just gave up on eating lunch and suddenly realized I was late for work.

    You have to do what you have to do with people like that, even if it is rude.
     
  12. Stitchfans

    Stitchfans Tres Charming

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    This sounds like excellent advice to me. And no in my opinion you are not rude.
     
  13. tinkerbellandeeyor

    tinkerbellandeeyor DIS Veteran

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    Thank u everyone
     
  14. PeterPanic

    PeterPanic <font color=royalblue>I hate the squeeze thingy. I

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    In the somewhat fractured words of Forrest Gump: "Life is like a ride on public transit...you never know what you're goin to get."
     
  15. rszdtrvl

    rszdtrvl DIS Veteran

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    I agree with the big headphones thing. A lot of times they are less than $20. Earbuds are too hidden.
     
  16. tinkerbellandeeyor

    tinkerbellandeeyor DIS Veteran

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    Never thought of it that way can't think of the last time I owned a pair though I guess they still sell them
     
  17. burnurcomputer

    burnurcomputer DIS Veteran

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    5 Below usually has them in store. They might not be the the most adult looking aka. teen prints or crazy color mixture, but they would get the job done on a budget :)

    BTW, I also attract the strange ones too!
     
  18. Eeyore'sthebest

    Eeyore'sthebest DIS Veteran<br><font color=darkorchid>Not So Tagle

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    They are making a huge comeback. A lot of younger people are switching to them. My DD finds them much more comfortable. In fact the Dr. Dre Beats (if I spelled that correctly) are hugely popular and quite expensive ($200 - $300).

    I purchased the SkullCandy purple ones for my DD for around $30 on line. But I'm sure you can find a pair of headphones at Wal-Mart or Target.
     
  19. rszdtrvl

    rszdtrvl DIS Veteran

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  20. threeboysmom

    threeboysmom Our life is what our thoughts make it

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    Wow.

    Is it really so wrong for someone to start a conversation on the bus or subway and be friendly?

    Must we all stick headphones in our ears and avoid eye contact at all costs?

    I usually try to be friendly to anyone sitting next to me and will strike up a conversation (NOT if they have a book open) if possible.

    Never thought I'd be looked at for being weird for attempting to be nice. :confused3

    Gone are the good ole' days when people actually TALKED.
     
  21. tinkerbellandeeyor

    tinkerbellandeeyor DIS Veteran

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    Thanks I will look into the big headphones of I can get them for less then 35 dollars that would be great
     

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