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I should’a taken that left in Albuquerque (Updated 8/16/13 Pg13)

Discussion in 'DIS Dads' started by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes, Jan 14, 2013.

  1. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

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    I should’a taken that left in Albuquerque…


    [​IMG]


    A trip report that just ain’t gonn’a make it to Disney






    Let me go on ahead and immediately make one thing very clear…



    You should not read this Trip Report.



    It’s just not in your best interest to do so (and it’s probably not in mine to be writing it). Now, if one were to continue reading anyway, then the only guarantee I can make is that the following paragraphs, images and commentary will not transport you to Disney World or any of Walt’s associated parks, resorts or attractions.


    [​IMG]


    And Why Not?





    Well, because the sad truth is that through the entirety of 2012… my family succeeded in visiting Disney property a some total of exactly: ZERO times. After near a decade of finding one way or another to get ourselves a little bit of Pixy Dust about once per annum, we finally hit a dry patch; a very dry patch.

    We’re talking arid…

    parched…

    desiccated…

    Sahara-esk in scale.


    The reasons for this I’ll get into later, but they really don’t matter to you right now. That would be due to the fact that you’re not going to be following along any farther anyway. Therefore… you’ll never see the reasons even if I were to post them.


    Right?


    OK, so what’s the point of all this then?


    Well, there are actually two points (neither of which will do you a lick of good).

    Firstly (and I use that word just to antagonize the ghost of Mark Twain)… firstly, I said that we did not travel to Disney, but… and this is key… but… that don’t mean we didn’t travel (and by definition this is a trip report). It is true that we did not originally intend to travel at all during 2012, but we succeed in doing so despite that initial lack of planning or foresight. Which means… there are stories to tell and things to see.
    They just may not be very interesting to you and/or you may well not care about them.

    But they’re there.

    there, their… there ,they’re… their, they’re…
    Oh, never mind



    OK, secondly…


    [​IMG]


    Yah I know Sam… just you get over it now, ya’ hear!





    As I was sayin’… Secondly, I’m writing this simply to be writing this.

    (Aaaaaaaand, there’s a bad reason if ever I’ve heard one.)

    Ya’ see, I didn’t discover the art (or is that vice :scratchin ) of TR composition until after our 2010 Christmas adventure to POR. Which is why you were spared the horror of enduring reports for every other “On World” appearance we made through the rest of the twenty-aughts. But the thing is… I like writing them. Really. So much so, that it doesn’t matter to me that much whether or not anyone else reads ‘em (which is a good thing ‘cause not many folks choose to do so… or at least not many go beyond the lurking stage and officially admit to it… we all have our reputations to consider don’t ya’ know). No matter, I just enjoy taking the time to recount the trips for my own amusement. It gives me something to focus on beyond the job that no longer captures my imagination.

    And that is why I’m tellin’ you now that you ought not be reading any farther. My demonstrated lack of devotees (beyond a few diehards that enjoy ripping my prose to shreds purely for the sport of it) confirms to me that the writing can’t be all that engrossing. Combine that last point with my frequent tendency to wander away from the main story line and dredge up or over analyze unrelated topics from the random to the obscure, and then go ahead and add in the fact that we still just ain’t goin’ to Disney…


    and there should be plenty enough reason for you to just move along.




    [​IMG]


    These aren’t the posts you’re looking for… move along…





    But I’m going to write about it anyway.

    That being the case…
    why not take the time to regularly insult me and savage my feeble linguistic abilities.

    That part of it might actually be fun…
    For you.





    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
    *** Table of Contents ***




    Because this looked like as good a place as any to put one…

    So you get one…





    Chapter 1: Road to Nowhere


    Chapter 2: With Arms Wide Open
    Part-0: The Introduction you foolishly asked for…

    Part 1: W. G. I.
    Part 2: Long Strange Trip
    Part 3: The Opportune Moment
    Part 4: Descending the Schmatterhorn


    Chapter 3: A Lack of Adult Supervision
    Part 1: Just what do you think you’re doing?

    Part 2: Via Regia
    Part 3: How Not to be Seen
    Part 4: Have Fun Storming the Castle
    Part 4.5: …Let Me Sum Up


    Chapter 4: The Peninsular Campaign
    The Opening Salvo


    Phase-1
    Operation: Glass House

    Operation: Glass House (Continued)
    Operation: Home Plate


    Phase-2
    Operation: Old Country

    Continued: Shifting Battle Lines
    Continued: The Evening Engagements


    Phase-3
    Operation: Tinder Box

    Continued: The DoG Street Offensive





    :badpc:
     
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  3. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

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  4. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

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    And one more for good measure


    :sad2:
     
  5. Captain_Oblivious

    Captain_Oblivious DIS Dad #257

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    Hey...what's this?

    Well, I'm guilty of a couple of those as well. So...stones in glass houses and all that.

    We're guys. Saying that just makes us keep going.

    Plus, college tuition bills suck.

    There was a point?

    So it's an existential trip report.

    I find that writing them keeps the memories of the trip alive that much longer in order to distract me from work, too. :thumbsup2 And my family and I can re-visit them later.

    Oh, stop beating yourself up. I like reading them. And some other people have been known to resort to PM'ing buddies when the TR is posted or inserting cheap gimmicks like movie-quote contests in order to artificially bump up the readership.:rolleyes1

    That only works on the weak-minded.

    Ok, if you say so.:thumbsup2

    These aren't the posts I'm looking for.:confused3

    :rotfl2:
     
  6. afwdwfan

    afwdwfan DIS Dad #460

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    Well, I guess I'll have to get back around here and harass you later.
     
  7. mm1971

    mm1971 DIS Veteran

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    I'm not good with authority, Now that you said I shouldn't read it, I really have no choice. And besides, what else is there for me to do around here.

    I'll feel free to fling the insults, humor and grammar corrections at all times just so you know we care.

    Now get on with it. You know you want to.:lmao::lmao:
     
  8. KatMark

    KatMark DIS Veteran

    Joined:
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    41,617
    I'm here...now doesn't that just make your day complete? :rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2:

    Off to do some "real" work, but will be back to catch up later.
     
  9. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

    Joined:
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    “That… is the question.”


    There’s so little glass left in my house that we get drenched whenever it rains.
    You might as well through ‘em. Andy certainly will if he finds out about this.


    Hummm…
    that thought never occurred to me.


    Yes they do sir.
    And I’ve only got to endure it once.


    Charlie Dog: "Look, bud. Don't miss this golden opportunity. I am 50 percent pointer. (points his finger in various directions) There it is… There it is… There it is… 50 percent boxer. (does some boxing moves) 50 percent setter. (sits on a stool and smokes a pipe) Irish setter. 50 percent watchdog. (pulls a pocket watch out of his waist fur) 50 percent spitz." (spits on the ground), but mostly I'm all Labrador retriever."

    Porky: "Oh, you are n-n-not a Labrador retriever."

    Charlie Dog: "I'm not."

    Porky: "No. You are n-n-not neither no Labrador retriever."

    Charlie Dog: "Look, if you doubt my word, get me a Labrador, and I'll retrieve it. That's fair, isn't it?"

    Porky: "A l-l-Labrador? W-w-well sure, I... ah... you..."

    Charlie Dog: "Have you got a Labrador?"

    Porky: "N-no."

    Charlie Dog: "Know where you can get a Labrador?"

    Porky: "N-n-n-no!"

    Charlie Dog: "Then shudd-up.”


    [​IMG]




    It’s more mythological but so long as you continue to think that I’m real…
    then at least in theory I will continue to exist.

    Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding…

    I suspected that you’d get it.


    Ehhhh…
    I’ve been beating myself up for a very long time now.
    It’s both a pastime and an excellent defense mechanism; if I beat them to it…
    they have no effective weapons.

    Kind’a like a scorched earth policy. :rolleyes1:


    And it works marvelously well.
    I’m sure that being genuinely funny and having three adorable kids to talk about and include pictures of had nothing to do with it.

    As for the gimmick aspect of it…
    I actually thought about that. I figured it would give everyone some realistic reason to follow along. But lacking any appreciable amount of creativity, I just couldn’t come up with a good idea (short of plagiarizing something that has already been done before).




    Ho ho ho. Ya koo tocha ka poonoo nee sok nyee.

    Ha mongo/Bargon wan chee kospah ol Jedi.
    Chone manya weesh asha beecho.
    Boschka!




    Who's the more foolish?
    The fool, or the fool who follows him?







    And… :welcome:

    Officially!
    Glad to have you along.

    You’ll be playing the part of the supportive mentor who attempts to point me in the right direction and offers constructive suggestion as to where I could most certainly have done better than that had I only thought it through

    Failing that… sarcasm and derision will be the order of the day.


    :rolleyes:
     
  10. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

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    You, however…
    will be playing the part of the evil villain whose every waking moment is consumed by the need to tear down and destroy everything in sight. While I, being your host, will certainly supply you with plenty of opportunities to do so and many structures upon which devastation can be wrought.


    :welcome: Andy…

    I’m actually glad you decided to take on this important roll.



    :rotfl:
     
  11. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

    Joined:
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    Im sure there is something better then this TR,
    But you're still invited to jump on into this mud puddle anyway.


    :welcome: Jim, glad to have you aboard.



    Yep..
    You gonna fit in 'round here right nicely.

    Not then...
    What exactly is this "grammar" thing of which you speak?


    :confused3
     
  12. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

    Joined:
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    As a matter of fact…
    It does.


    There needs to be at least on voice of sanity.
    For now you’ll be playing the part of the heroine that needs to be lifted out of this B-grade disaster of a script and given a real part in a more critically noteworthy production.


    :welcome:

    But I recommend that you save yourself and abandon this doomed ship at the next safe harbor.



    :boat:
     
  13. KatMark

    KatMark DIS Veteran

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    Okay caught up and that was so boring that I will now officially stop reading. NOT! While I will admit that I sometimes get confused and I don't know half the movies you guys talk about, I definitely think a sane, female prescence is needed in these parts, and I'm sticking! :goodvibes

    And just a word to Mark, Andy and whatever other dads show up that I know, watch your toes...I'm keeping both eyes and ears open on this one.
     
  14. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

    Joined:
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    Oh my…
    I do believe that we’ve been put on notice.

    I guess that I’ll need to be minding my Ps and Qs
    :lmao:

    Thanks for deciding to tough it out Kat.



    Well… I was intending to put up the next little bit of this mess in the morning and see if I couldn’t round up a few more followers initially, but this may well be the bulk of my audience for the duration.


    I could do worse.


    Anyway, I think I’ll go ahead and “publish the official introduction tonight and get to work on the actual first chapter. So unless someone has a compelling reason why I should not do such…

    I’ll have that post up in a little bit.
     
  15. KatMark

    KatMark DIS Veteran

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    :woohoo::woohoo::woohoo::woohoo: I'm ready
     
  16. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

    Joined:
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  17. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

    Joined:
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    Chapter 1: Road to Nowhere





    [​IMG]


    Because I believe this TR could use an actual Introduction








    I miss Disney.

    A lot…

    For reasons A, B and G, I’ve not set foot inside one of Walt’s parks since Christmas of 2010.


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    a lovely trip relived in this little TR…



    Youre writing a TR... Really?
    (Christmas at POR, 2010)





    And I’ve not been on Disney property since after sailing aboard the Dream in mid 2011


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    with that trip,
    including a short no-park stay at the Wilderness Lodge
    being regaled in this TR…




    Experiment-627
    (A Caribbean Double with a Wilderness Chaser)





    No… there were other things that needed to happen (and which would cost us a serious dollar or two) that would keep us from getting back into the parks for some time.


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    with the primary reason being discussed in this particular “Non-Disney” TR …



    A Thanksgiving Odyssey
    (Bands, Buses and Big Bad Balloons)





    Now those excursions were nothing short of fabulous to be sure…

    (and they gave me an excuse to actually show you a few Disney pictures at least once in this here TR, so start savoring)

    Unquestionably, 2011 had been a high water mark in our families travel experiences.


    don’t believe me?
    Go and read those last two TRs I linked back up the way there.

    Oh, and I promise that’s the last time I will “overtly” plug those other little efforts. I may… refer you to a piece of one here or there, but that’s a different offence (and I’ll make no promises on that score).



    All that being said though, those prior excursions had also drained our coffers to the point where it was going to be a might more difficult to travel anywhere in the next year. As **** Clark was making his annual appearance on what would be his last New Year’s Eve party and counting down the last few seconds to the beginning of a bright shinny new 2012… we had no trips of any kind planed at all.

    Not a one…

    Not to anywhere…

    Nada…

    We’d resigned ourselves to basically staying ‘round the house the next year and traveling no farther then say… the beach for a day or two (since that’s only 180 miles and we have access to a place to stay, but I‘ll discuss that more later on). What we didn’t know at the time that big ol’ Tiffany Crystal ball was descending the poll atop 1 Times Square


    [​IMG]


    …was that we’d be traversing a couple of good sized chunks of the U.S. east of the Mississippi. We’d even find ourselves in several locations and states of the union in which we’d never trod before. The truth of the mater is that there was actually a good bit of travel on our horizon; it was just shrouded in mist and mystery at the time.




    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
    OK… so what does any of this have to do with a left turn?


    (you know, that thing I chose to name this hear TR after in the first place)





    Well… flying out of “CLT”
    (that’s Charlotte-Douglas International Airport to the uninitiated)


    [​IMG]


    is expensive under all conditions.

    It’s a hub for US Air, does not have any service from Southwest, and the folks at “Agony Air” have virtually no other competition. As such, prices are monopolistically high.

    What this means to me is that “nearly all” of our travels are relegated to the distance I can drive a vehicle (and even that must then be within the short time frames that my employer will allow me to be “out of pocket”). Given this handicap, the key to getting nearly anywhere is to hop onto the mighty Eisenhower thoroughfares


    [​IMG]

    (aka: the Interstates).



    Yes, I know this is common knowledge but its also true that unless you have extra time or a specific agenda, the big “I”s are generally the most direct route to any destination and therefore allow you to save as much time as possible for actually enjoying said destination. It’s just that they can be somewhat of a boring drive.



    Like most folks, I live right near one of these arteries; specifically the one that travels between Cleveland, OH (remember that it’ll come up again latter on) and Columbia, SC. The one designated as: Number 77. If one wished to travel to The Happiest Place on Earth from my humble abode, they’d be making a very definite left onto I-77 South in order to head directly toward all that pixy dust.



    The problem is that I kept turning right!



    Every time one of these initially unforeseen excursions would crop up, it called for me to make a right turn onto our part of the interstate and basically head in nearly every direction imaginable other then south. I was continually headed away form Disney.

    Here let me illustrate the problem…


    [​IMG]


    That right there is a quick map of the various routes that I found myself traveling at different points of 2012. A lot more miles then I’d have initial wagered on to be sure. And my plan for this TR is to talk a little bit about each of them. Some chapters will be fairly short; some will take up a bit more space.

    And (as my few regular readers know) there is always the potential for an unexpected “Bonus Feature” to raise its ugly head

    (You’ll learn about those soon enough, or you can read a past TR and be quite clear on the kind of devastation that can be wrought by one of those little Easter Eggs).

    Like this one for example.



    Since each of these trips was different, I’ll hold off on introducing the various players in each drama until we reach that particular episode. But I am sad to have to report; that I will be appearing in all of them. At least you’ve been warned.

    Along the way, We’ll encounter new cities, several museums, an honest to goodness major “Hall of Fame” (but probably not the one you’re thinking of), history, culture, several ships (hay it’s me remember… there has to be ships), interesting dining options and even a major amusement park (just not one of Walt’s).

    Well that’s about it for the introductions, explanations, disclaimers, warnings…

    You get the idea.

    I think I’ll just close off this part of the tale with a few images that will give you a clue of what kind of “exotic” locals and “mysterious” destinations would be beckoning to us.

    Submitted for your approval, a collection of otherwise non sequitur images….


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]




    Please observe that if you do not wish to continue on this ride, the final emergency exit is just to your left… it’s the back button on your browser (and it may well be a left you ought to take), but if you choose to continue on, the elevator will be here shortly…




    [​IMG]




    Next up: “Guess what kids… We’re going to Dayton!”

    “Yippee?”
     
  18. mm1971

    mm1971 DIS Veteran

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    My grandmother was a second grade teacher growing up. I got beatings every time I spoke or spelled incorrectly. It's not my fault......really. I was bullied into it. I really do feel bad for my kids as I am ALWAYS correcting them too.:lmao::lmao:
     
  19. mm1971

    mm1971 DIS Veteran

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    Hey, I know that place.:rolleyes1

    I thought you said no Disney?:headache: Those were definitely some Disney pics in this report. Now I'm not so sure about this.:eek:
     
  20. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

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    I think every second grade teacher from my childhood had a similar point of view.

    My school work, especially the writing, was deemed so inferior that as penance I actually spent the entirety of the second grade being deprived of any and all recess. Anytime we went outside, I was put in the equivalent of modern day “time out” where I could watch everyone else play… but could not take part. Didn’t work though, I’m pretty stubborn. My writing ability is still sub par. Actually, I’ve done given up any pretence at proper grammar and simply write it as I would have said it.

    On the up side…
    You’ll have plenty of opportunity to beat me up on that score.



    My advice… SAVE YOURSELF!

    Run away! (I may even have said that in the first post… I’ll have to go back and check)

    Now, to your point…
    I said that we weren’t going to Disney.
    I didn’t say I wouldn’t find some bogus reason not to stick a Disney reference into this disaster in the making. There will be copious links to things Disney making appearances through out this monster as well.
     
  21. KatMark

    KatMark DIS Veteran

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    Next up: “Guess what kids… We’re going to Dayton!”

    “Yippee?”
    [/CENTER][/QUOTE]

    Aren't intros supposed to consist of the people ON THE trip? Correct me if I'm wrong. :confused3

    Dayton, huh? I've been to parts of Ohio, but I don't think Dayton was one of them.
     

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