I just don't care... small vent

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by sam_gordon, Dec 6, 2012.

  1. SaraJayne

    SaraJayne <font color=red>Stop moving those smilies! <img sr

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    Sam, you should know by now there is no such thing as venting here. It is not allowed in the perfect world of the Dis. You will be torn apart, mocked, criticized, called awful, fill-in-the-blank, etc.

    No one has ever been annoyed by an over-sharing acquaintance or just had a pissy day in general where everything annoys them. Nope, not here. :rolleyes1
     
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  3. Kellydelly

    Kellydelly DIS Veteran

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    Maybe this guy really hasn't had a stroke (do you know if he actually did?) but really can't drive because he doesn't have a license (suspension/dui) and doesn't want you to think that he needs a cab for anything other than a medical reason :confused3. Maybe that's why he had what you consider diarrhea of the mouth.
     
  4. design_mom

    design_mom <font color=royalblue>I am probably more like my d

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    Sorry that the conversation bothered you. For what it's worth, I don't think I'm an "over sharer" in general, but in your situation I could see myself blathering on like your co-worker did. Your offer to help ("can I help you") would have thrown me off and I would have felt compelled to explain why I needed to talk to A directly. Yes, a succinct "I want some info about the cab company he uses" would have done the trick, but what you witnessed was probably your coworker's version of "well, um... it's nothing against you, but he's the only one with the information that I need....and it might sound like it's a non-work related question, but it really does kind of relate to work..."

    Sorry that you were so bothered by it though...
     
  5. babyrich

    babyrich "I was hiding under your porch because I love you"

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    Next time you are faced with a similar situation be sure to say "do you have a work-related issue I can help you with"... this way people will know not to bother you with any personal information.
     
  6. Buckalew11

    Buckalew11 2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!

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    Sam,

    I think it is nice that you say you are sorry he did have the stroke or whatever ('cause you weren't really listening, you did not care enough to listen) after saying you don't care that he had one or whatever. It kind of makes hearing that about you seem better. I could understand more if you said, "I don't care that he broke his toe or whatever", but having a stroke?:headache: That sounded heartless.

    Anyway, as a hairdresser, I small talk with people all.day.long. I see clients who I have known for almost 30 years now and our conversations are even deeper than small talk. People need people to hear them and to care. You never know what is going on in someone's life and just need to be heard.

    I understand that you aren't into the details and some people do very detailed details that have nothing to do with the story even, everyone's different! Then there are some people who want to say they are fine, hope I'm fine and hurry it up so they can go home, lol. It's all good in my book. :goodvibes
    My dad used to get frustrated with people who asked a lot of questions--he'd say, "What are you doing, writing a book?" :laughing: He did not want to share anything with anyone. And my MIL who gives every detail of the family's history back to the Mayflower and where each is buried. ;)

    Too many words, I'm sure, but want to say is you just never know what someone is going through and how they may need some sort of personal interaction. :flower3:
     
  7. Alesia

    Alesia DIS Veteran

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    Of course I have, but I don't feel the need to share it with strangers on the internet. If I did, I would fully expect people to tell me that I'm being a whiner - because, well, that's pretty much the definition of being a whiner.

    And I'm sorry, I don't think treating a person like they are a stalk of celery is the kind of behavior that should be encouraged. You absolutely have the right to be pissy about spending 30 seconds listening to a coworker, but I think it's pretty sad to brag about it. And yes, posting stuff like this on the internet is bragging - even if it makes you look bad.
     
  8. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

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    I would recommend then, OP, NEVER to visit the south and casually say the words "How are you?" to ANYONE, particularly a cashier.
     
  9. joviroxx

    joviroxx <font color=blue>rectally reporters television pro

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    You know, there is a reason all the ecards on Pinterest are so popular, and yes, funny!

    Some people need to bring the self-righteousness down a bit. Because honestly, I simply cannot believe that people don't get annoyed ever and turn around and vent about it.

    And yes, there are times I'm having a bad day and not everyone and their need to talk , is completely welcome... There.. I said it!
     
  10. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon DIS Veteran

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    I laughed.
     
  11. Bob NC

    Bob NC DIS Veteran<br><font color="red">I am a trained pr

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    And I guess you are no longer taking applications for entrance into this club?
     
  12. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon DIS Veteran

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    Applications accepted, not always granted. :lmao:
     
  13. WDSearcher

    WDSearcher DIS Veteran

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    Maybe use this as a learning opportunity. Next time, instead of saying, "No, can I help you?" when someone asks if you've seen another co-worker, maybe lead with "Is it a work thing?" and if they say "yes", then you ask "Can I maybe help you?" If they say "no", then you say, "Oh ... OK. Well, if I see them, I'll tell them you're looking for them."

    Don't assume that everyone you talk to automatically knows the sub-context ("'A' and I work in similar departments and often I can do what he does") of a generic statement like "No, can I help you?"

    Lots of people are used to sharing. If you don't want to hear unnecessary information, ask more specific questions. :)

    :earsboy:
     
  14. Pea-n-Me

    Pea-n-Me DIS Veteran

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    I got the sense you were most annoyed that he shared his medical background of having a stroke in his explanation, though the explanation in and of itself annoyed you as well. :laughing:

    Overall in the scheme of life, not a huge deal. And others are right, you are entitled to vent. (Though others are entitled to their opinions as well.)

    I just think that, in life, getting past these little annoyances and having an open heart towards others, even when they're slightly annoying, can make our daily life a little bit more meaningful. YMMV. (And not that I'm perfect when it comes to that, cause God knows I have my hot button issues, too. But I do try to keep that in mind as much as I can.)

    A story that comes to mind when in discussing this, and only sharing because maybe it will make an impact with someone, somewhere. You might know, I'm a nurse. And yes, it's part of my job to listen to people when they're hurting or venting. But even so, the degree to which we listen can vary. In the past two weeks I had two different patients who were having really tough times. Thankfully I had time on those shifts to do this, but during some particularly tough moments, I pulled up a chair, got comfy, and just sat with those patients and listened. Individully, each thanked me profusely, but also said I'd made a difference to them. Imagine that - no heroics, no extraordinary feats of medical brilliance, nothing special, really - just listened and cared, and I made a difference to them. A little caring really does go a long way. It's often what people remember when recalling things even years later.

    Granted, different than your situation, but something to keep in mind when talking to people. I mean, nobody wants to get stuck hearing medical details over and over again from the same person or whatever, but I think in your situation, it really wasn't a big deal. Life does get stressful, but some things we just have to let go... looking at hormone fluctuation when we're upset or annoyed vs when we're peaceful and happy, it really does affect us and our whole being. Good feelings bring on endorphins and those "feel good" hormones can have lasting affects for hours. If you try to change your feelings about it, going from negative to positive, as in, you helped him somehow, you could have walked away feeling good about that conversation. Something to think about.
     
  15. Tuffcookie

    Tuffcookie Enjoys an early hour of peace. Is a smart cookie.

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    Well, This is just TACKY! :laughing:

    TC :cool1:
     
  16. Bob NC

    Bob NC DIS Veteran<br><font color="red">I am a trained pr

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    Or, just smack them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
     
  17. Buckalew11

    Buckalew11 2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!

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    :rotfl2: So true!! I had a cashier once who owned a talking bird and she went into great detail about it and how she is getting older and might die soon :eek: and neither of her kids wanted her bird. I voiced some sort of sympathy and the next thing I know she was trying to figure out a way that I could inherit her talking bird!

    :scared1: As they say at Flights of Wonder in AK, "I have FOB!--fear of birds!" So no, I do not wish to inherit a talking bird that lives to be 80 years old.:sad2:
     
  18. jen0610

    jen0610 DIS Veteran

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    Seeing as I'm big girl enough to admit that I shouldn't be like this but I am, there are those people, who if you came up to me and said X is looking for you, I'd be like :headache: thinking what does X want now and it will not be high on my list things to take care of, so as to avoid the person who make me go :headache:.

    Now, if there was some added info, even with it still being X, who wanting to talk to me and it would still makes me go :headache:, since I had the added piece of info that due to their health issues they need some info from me, I would be more willing to pull my big girl panties up and put forth a bit more effort to go deal with someone who makes me go :headache:.

    Maybe the guy knows that he's that :headache: person to the cab rider and figured that the more info to pass on, the more likely it would be to get his answers.
     
  19. Luv2Scrap

    Luv2Scrap <font color=green>The only way is if you have the

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    Everybody STOP! We need to back up for just a minute....

    A WHAT user??? :lmao:
     
  20. jen0610

    jen0610 DIS Veteran

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    :rotfl2:

    I saw that to and had to laugh.

    The er on the end of that is the only thing keeping it from being starred out. That is a good one. I'll have to remember that one.
     
  21. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon DIS Veteran

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    Good theory. What got passed on... "A, B's looking for you."
     

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