I don't want to go to Disney World.. I don't even know why I wanted to go in the first place. I just feel like my past has just disappeared and I was put here on earth yesterday. I feel like an object and feel like crap every day. I don't understand everything any more. I am always in a bad mood and feel like I've ruined my reputation somehow. I can't even walk around the stupid block w/o feeling like i'm going to die from a heart attack. I was in sooo much pain it was unbareable and it was only from walking around the block down and uphill. My head is empty 24 and I don't know what to do with my self. I can't work because I can't concentrate any more. I forget things and I just get aggravated on the smallest thing. I feel everything on my body. I can feel my *** 24/7 and it hurts. My mom gets me annoyed cuz she just doesn't understand me. and what i am going through. I just feel like there's no one nice on this earth because everybody treats me like crap, in elementary school, hs and even college. I feel different from everyone. I just don't want to live any more and I certainly don't want to go to Disney world because I don't know what fun is any more. I don't feel present. i feel like an object, "i'm just here," i can look at the wall all day and don't care.