How many friends do you have?

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by ebtbmom, Dec 6, 2012.

  1. low-key

    low-key DIS Veteran

    Apr 8, 2011
    I have 5-6 friends who I know well and they know me well, but of them only one that is in my inner circle ( a sometimes scary place):laughing:
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  3. ebtbmom

    ebtbmom DIS Veteran

    Jun 16, 2009
    Circle of trust?

    The bad thing is all 4 of my female friends live in other towns, we are college friends and hang out together usually twice a year. I don't even have a best girlfriend. If I can't talk to DH about something (you know, if its his fault!) I keep it to myself. I'm trying to decide if my lack of close friendships bothers me. I feel like it should, but really I don't think it does.
  4. low-key

    low-key DIS Veteran

    Apr 8, 2011
    hmm, I guess thats a good way of putting it :thumbsup2
  5. disneydee6

    disneydee6 DIS Veteran

    Mar 21, 2010
    Well, as cheesy as it sounds, my two sisters are my best friends. But not including blood lol, I have a BF that has put our friendship thru the mill this past year, but we still remain strong. I have three other friends that, like OP, even though we live far apart, as soon as we talk, it's like no time has passed. Is it small? Yes, but I prefer it that way.
    A friend of mine has like 15 really close friends, and with that many, there is always drama. No thanks!!
  6. RadioNate

    RadioNate DIS Veteran

    Apr 20, 2002
    I just wrote a blog posting on this.

    I have friends but my best friend now lives out of state and most of my friends here are married with kids. I'm divorced. It takes HUGE effort for me to get my married friends to do anything, even the moms that are SAHMs. They are busy with their husbands, their kids, etc etc. I understand that is important. But they never do anything. Ok, not never but maybe 3-4 times a year. At most. I'm not even talking about stuff with me, that's total! One friend I've seen once in 18 months. Sure we phone chat and text but in person? Once!

    My blog post was about making the effort to maintain and grow relationships. I look at my own life. I was really focused on my husband and kids too. I thought my husband was my "best friend." He still decided that he didn't want to be a "family guy" so we divorced. My oldest is in Jr High, college is right around the corner.

    So in a nutshell I have friends, I just could use more of them in this area and ones that make time to go out and do things.
  7. kaligal

    kaligal DIS Veteran

    Sep 12, 2009
    I'm very lucky to have had the same group of friends since grade school. There were 17 of us, but the first of us died this year. Now we are 16.

    It has its perks, but it has its drawbacks, too.
  8. westjones

    westjones <font color=blue>Mother of Two <font color=deeppin

    Mar 11, 2002
    Same here. Moving out of state really does make it harder because you have to start all over again.

    The few friends I have all have kids around the same age as my kids. We became friends because of the kids.

    I do have a wonderful church and if I wanted to be more social, I could (and maybe one day I will). And I must admit it is comforting to know they are there if I did really need them.
  9. suzimar57

    suzimar57 Miss my Happy Place.

    May 7, 2000
    one friend - known her since i was 7 (i'm 55)

    we've been thru everything in our lives together

    my sister and i say she's our "other sister"

    i'm truly blessed to have her in my life all these years :goodvibes

    thru my life, i've had many other "friends"

    but they've come and gone - basically, gone
  10. antmaril

    antmaril DIS Veteran

    Apr 1, 2001
    I have 12-15 friends and six of them would be my "call in the middle of the night for help friends." I feel blessed.
  11. HippieChickadee

    HippieChickadee Mouseketeer

    Oct 24, 2012
    1 good "can count on" friend

    2 "few times a year events" friends

    and 4 "co-workers"

    But, I would say "1" without analyzing it

    was this suppose to depress me?
  12. teacup princess

    teacup princess DIS Veteran

    Mar 22, 2008
  13. luvsJack

    luvsJack DIS Veteran

    Apr 3, 2007
    A very timely question for me. I have a group of 5 women that I was very close to on high school and onto adulthood. Some how we have drifted away and although we talk on the phone, at church in passing and on Facebook, we haven't really talked or spent time together in years.

    In the past two weeks Dh and I have lost two very dear friends that we kept promising to visit. Their deaths really got me to thinking. So on the 28th there will be a reunion of my little group!! I am really looking forward to it
  14. luvmy3

    luvmy3 <font color=green>When I drink I find its easier t

    Feb 24, 2008
    According to Facebook or IRL? :laughing:
  15. ChiCat

    ChiCat DIS Veteran

    Jun 3, 2010
    Lets start off by saying I have almost no family :sad1: my dad, whom I was never close to anyway, died at the age of 51. My mom is crazy, no really crazy I barely speak to her and my brothers and I have zero things in common. My grandmother the only person I was close to died when I was 17. So I have loads of friends.

    I have my DH who is my BFF but I have 3 other people I consider best friends as well. Then I have a few more people that are very good friends, then work friends, mutual friends and so on.

    Before my DH came along I had bad jealousy issues with people that had big tight knit families heck even people who had a strong bond with any family! It was especially hard around this time of year.
  16. lovemygoofy

    lovemygoofy DIS Veteran

    Jun 9, 2004
    My husband is my best friend as well. I love spending time with him and just doing anything or nothing with him.

    I have 3 friends that I have been friends with almost 3 years. We talk/text every week or month. They all live in Arkansas while I travel the world but we are still the same when we get together. I know that those 3 would get on a plane, train or hitch hike to get me to in a moment's notice.

    I have also made friends around the wonderful world thanks to the army. We keep in regular contact but I don't know about the drop if something is on fire.

    I'm inspired to start a thread about this thanks!
  17. Feralpeg

    Feralpeg Living and Loving Windermere!

    Dec 29, 2000
    Not counting my sister and my daughter, I have two friends who have been my friends for over 30 years. I know they would be there for me no matter what and I would do the same for them.

    I have many people with whom I am friendly and with whom I like to spend time, but I also know that they would not go out of their way to be with me. I think this is very normal.
  18. KimR

    KimR DIS Veteran<br><font color=teal>Needs to lay off t

    Sep 30, 2001
    This is me exactly. My friends are my sister and my daughters. While I'd love to have a group of girl friends to hang out with (I'm always a little envious when we go out to dinner and I see a group of women enjoying a girl's night out), I've come to accept the fact that I'm not a social person and never will be. I actually enjoy doing things by myself, though, so it's not so bad. I just hate it for DH because I feel like I severely limit his social life.
  19. Tigger&Belle

    Tigger&Belle <font color=blue>I'm the good girl on the DIS<br><

    Sep 2, 2000
    This is pretty spot-on with me, also. I sometimes feel that I have a "phone-a-friend" network. :rotfl: I know who to call for various things--if I need a kick in the backside, I have certain friends who know me who are more than happy to provide that service. If I need a shoulder, I know who to call. I am in recovery, so have my network of friends if I need support in that area. My partner is my very best friend, but not the only person I am close to. Besides that, I haven't known her for as long as I've known many of my friends. I also have people who will call me for whatever reason. I probably have more friends now than I've ever had. I am outgoing, but tend to be shy, so it doesn't always come natural to have a lot of friends.

    Having said that, I do not think there is a right number of friends for anyone. As long as each of us are happy with our situation, I believe that's the right number. If we somehow feel as if we need more friends, that's something that can be worked on. Some of my friends have been friends for 20+ years and others I have just recently met. It's never too late to make a friend and I've found the best way to make them is by being a friend to someone else.
  20. Squirlz

    Squirlz DIS Veteran

    Oct 31, 2000
    Can't even begin to count. My Wife and I participate in a lot of car related activities so we have friends literally all over the country. As far as local friends, people we visit with frequently within 50 miles, maybe 100?
  21. scbelleatheart

    scbelleatheart DIS Veteran

    Jul 22, 2010
    I learned long ago, trust no one.

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