How do we keep neighborhood annoying kid from ruining our summer???

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by tiawolfe, May 27, 2013.

  1. tiawolfe

    tiawolfe Earning My Ears

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    70
    Background: we have two daughters, 6 and 8. DH and I are both high school teachers, so summer is a time for us to spend lots of family time and relax.

    New neighbors down the street have a 6 year old daughter who is NOT a nice girl. While at our house, she tried to push my daughter down the stairs twice. She comes over at meal times because she has been left alone and is hungry. Her teenage siblings have her come over, and then call to say that they are going shopping/golfing/movies/whatever and will be home in a few hours.

    I am extremely nonconfrontational and don't know what to do. Whenever my kids have other friends over this other girl comes over and ruins their playdates with her behavior. DH and I really don't want to deal with this all summer. As a working mom, I have some sympathy for my neighbor because she needs her child to be watched, but my summer is not her free daycare.

    Suggestions??? I'm sure lots of you have had similar experiences.
     
  2. Avatar

    Google AdSense Guest Advertisement


    to hide this advert.
  3. Poohforyou

    Poohforyou DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
    Messages:
    3,427
    I'd have a conversation with her mother. Explain that your kids and her child are just very different and can't seem to find things to do together that they all enjoy. Don't get roped into accusing the neighbor kid of being agressive. Just say they don't get along and you don't want to play ref.

    You have to stand up for what you want. If the child needs supervision she should be sent to camp or a sitter s/b hired.
     
  4. hereyago

    hereyago DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    8,534








    Stop opening the door. Tell her it isnt a good time for your kids to play. She tried twice to push your dd down stairs, you need to protect your kid. I an not saying the girl is a serial killer in,making, but it is apparent she doesn't know how to play nice.
     
  5. Uncle Remus

    Uncle Remus Raconteur / can't name 'em Jeb

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2006
    Messages:
    12,664
    Call the mother and tell her the teens aren't watching or feeding the kid. And stop answering your door when that kid comes over.
     
  6. tiawolfe

    tiawolfe Earning My Ears

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    70
    You're both right- I will have to stand up for myself and talk to mom. I know this isn't a unique situation, but I am dreading dealing with this all summer. Time to be honest about the problem and enjoy my summer!
     
  7. cheer25mom

    cheer25mom DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2013
    Messages:
    834
    Tell her she cannot come over. Problem solved. Seriously, you need to stand up for your family and tell her to o home.
     
  8. hereyago

    hereyago DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    8,534
    I do agree with Uncle Remus about talking to the mom about teens not taking care of her. If something were to happen to her, the mom may be held responsible.
     
  9. ironpig70

    ironpig70 DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,134
    I don't wanna sound rude but you are a HS teacher and do not wanna deal with confrontation. How do you survive a day in school?


    Only way this will end is to stand your ground. Answer the door and tell the girl flat out she is not welcome in your house as her behavior is unacceptable.
     
  10. lynxstch

    lynxstch I Love Figment

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2001
    Messages:
    4,355
    A 6 year old is being left alone at home? I would be calling the police and CPS on those parents!
     
  11. hereyago

    hereyago DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    8,534
    She isn't technically being left alone, her siblings send her over to OP then call her and say they are going out.
     
  12. Pea-n-Me

    Pea-n-Me DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    22,688
    Not opening the door is good when you're inside.

    Fences are good when you're outside. Locked.

    I feel sorry for the girl, but I agree you have to protect your own kids - and your sanity.
     
  13. Ciciwoowoo

    Ciciwoowoo <font color=darkorchid>we would both run like heck

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2007
    Messages:
    1,393
    It sounds as if you need to take charge of the situation in your own home. Its your house, so your rules.

    If the little girl is not behaving, tell her she needs to play nicely or she will have to go home. I would oversee the play between your children and her. Don't be afraid to speak up!

    I feel very sorry for this little girl. I would be one who would want to keep her just so she was getting fed and being watched, but that is me. I wouldn't put up with any nonsense, though.

    I am one who is not afraid to correct a child, though. Comes from years of working at a daycare, I guess. To be honest, no parent has ever asked me to not say something to their child. I don't think they mind having another parent in their corner!
     
  14. 4under4

    4under4 DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2010
    Messages:
    768
    We had a similar problem at our previous house and simply instituted a "we only interact on the street rule". This was really important [and easy for our kids to adapt to] because we use a Nanny during the summer, and there was NO WAY I would want her to take on extra kid watching. Our kids didn't need to know the exact "why" of the rule, simply that when Nanny was there, no extra kids allowed... and when we were home, it was "family time".

    If all the neighborhood kids were out riding bikes (a cul-de-sac, so street riding was the norm), and I/DH/Nanny was watching, then no problem. The minute we didn't like something, we called my kids in for meal/snack/reading time/whatever, & left neighbors on the street to fend for the themselves.

    OP: Not having the neighbor in the house is an easy fix... "Sorry Susie, DD can't play right now". If teenagers call again with a sly goodbye, then a FIRM "Susie isn't playing with us right now, she's outside on the street. We already have family plans, so you will need to take her with you." My guess is the teens are pulling one over on Mom, but whether she knows or not, there is no reason to play along.

    :goodvibes
     
  15. themilesfamily

    themilesfamily <font color=green>Wanna potty with Spongebob Squar

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,607
    Every time she comes over, I would be at the door saying, "Sorry, Susie and Sally can't play today. Have a great day!" If you know for sure that she's being left alone and hungry, call CPS. Or talk to the mom if you feel inclined to go that route. Mom & Dad may need to come up with a better child-care plan. Perhaps Social Services can help them with that? I don't know what their financial situation is.

    ETA: Do you know the parents or their situation? I know you said they're new...
     
  16. GaSleepingBeautyFan

    GaSleepingBeautyFan DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Messages:
    8,152
    I had this happen but with a boy. The Mom would have him come over, usually hungry, and then leave the neighborhood.
    This kid was mean and would be nasty to my kids. I told him that if he couldn't behave, he had to go home which was when I'd find out that his parent had left the area - usually for hours and hours. He was always asking me to feed him every time he came over too.

    After the 3rd time, I just told his mother that I wasn't her free babysitting service so he couldn't come over anymore. He tried to come over a few times and I sent him back home right away.

    After that, he never came over again - problem solved.

    And yes, I did get a reputation of being mean because she bad mouthed me to other neighbors. I didn't care and several other neighborhood Moms who she tried to take advantage of quickily realized I wasn't the problem - this kid who was mean and his Mom were the problems.

    Since your issue involves teens leaving the kid at your place, I'd be chatting with the Mom so she is aware of whats going on and also letting her know the little girl can't come over and why.
     
  17. DawnM

    DawnM Dawn

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2005
    Messages:
    12,896
    Who are these teen girls calling? Does the 6 year old have a cell phone? Or are they calling you?

    If they are calling you, tell them you have to leave in 20 min. and will send the girl back over immediately so that they can take her with them.

    However, I would be more inclined to just be "busy" every time she comes over and not let her in.

    Dawn

     
  18. MrsDuck

    MrsDuck DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    5,326
    YEP.

    I'm sorry you're in this tough spot!
     
  19. dakcp2001

    dakcp2001 <font color=darkorchid>Am I wrong to want a cashie

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2007
    Messages:
    5,372
    You are worried about confrontation with a 6 year old? You need to be the adult here and put your foot down. Tell the little girl your kids cannot play right now and send her home. When her siblings call, say COME GET HER SHE CANT STAY. You need to nip this in the bud NOW or you will be dealing with this all summer. Keep sending her home. Eventually she will stop coming or her mom will want to talk with you, and you can tell her then why. BUt the problem needs to be dealt with. If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting.
     
  20. TLuvsD

    TLuvsD DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2010
    Messages:
    803
    "Sorry Susie, DD can't isn't available right now", followed up with a call to Mom to let her know you prefer that playdates be arranged in advance. Same message to the teens. If they are all playing outside, I like the previous poster's advice--everyone outside is the responsibility of their parent/caregiver. You might want to go over that with the mom.

    I do feel sorry for the kids, the teens likely don't want to babysit and the 6 year old needs a playmate. But that doesn't mean a daily playdate at your house.
     
  21. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc <font color=royalblue>We had a wonderful time, but

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2007
    Messages:
    11,428
    Have the conversation with the mom, not with the 6 year old.

    If you don't open your door, then she's unattended and could get hurt or into trouble. Let mom know that the siblings aren't watching her.

    Oh, and I'm another high school teacher who doesn't love confrontations. It's not an issue at school; I can develop the kinds of relationships with my students that rarely make confrontations necessary. My kids work from bell to bell and tend to enjoy my math classes; it's very rare that confrontations come up.
     

Share This Page