Hope this brightens your day

Discussion in 'UK Community Board' started by Pegasus928, May 20, 2009.

  1. Pegasus928

    Pegasus928 DIS Veteran

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    Some of you may have seen this already but i have just got sent this via email and it made me laugh out loud. Hope it does the same for you.

    It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to
    fix one.

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,'
    which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
    correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
    review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
    ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance
    complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (marked with a "P"), and the
    solutions recorded by maintenance engineers (marked with an "S").

    (By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had a
    crash.)


    P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft...

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200ft per min descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last...................


    P: Noise coming from under
    instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

    S: Took hammer away from midget.


    :lmao::rotfl2::lmao::rotfl::lmao::rotfl2::lmao:
     
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  3. madmumof2

    madmumof2 DIS Veteran

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    Lmao!!!!!
     
  4. cherjp

    cherjp I am a disney nutter! Every time I reply

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  5. 1andrea

    1andrea DIS Veteran

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    Unfortunatly mines still there, I did laugh though.
     
  6. fizz13

    fizz13 <font color=33cc99>Dreams about being stuck on Spa

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    :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

    That is the funniest thing i have read in ages, I have tears in my eyes:lmao: and i fear i am going to have to poach this and email it to a few people!
     
  7. UKDEB

    UKDEB <font color=CC33FF>Found the Tag Fairy's hangout<b Moderator

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    This is one of my all time favourites. Whenever I need a laugh, I dig this up (along with a few others along the same lines).

    Just going to pop it over to UK Comm. :thumbsup2
     
  8. Twinkly-Tink

    Twinkly-Tink Mouseketeer

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    :rotfl2:

    Tat's brightened my day!! - thanks!!
     
  9. T16GEM

    T16GEM <font color=blue>I must have a funnel cake when I'

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    Just forwarded it to my FIL who is an Aircraft Engineer! LOL!
     
  10. scottish mum

    scottish mum <font color=darkorchid>We still have 2 posties in

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  11. snookhams

    snookhams <a href="http://www.wdwinfo.com/dis-sponsor/" targ

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  12. natalielongstaff

    natalielongstaff <font color=deeppink>I need a cup of tea and a big

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    :rotfl2: they are brilliant !
     
  13. Pinky166

    Pinky166 <font color=deeppink>a little on the OCD side<br><

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  14. wayneg

    wayneg Moderator Moderator

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    1st time for a while I had tears rolling down my cheeks while reading something. Brilliant.:thumbsup2
     
  15. mandymouse

    mandymouse <font color=red>If It's Not A Bahama Mama Then I'm Moderator

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  16. comingtodisney

    comingtodisney Mouseketeer

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  17. jackieleanne

    jackieleanne DIS Veteran

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    Thats brilliant. :rotfl: I may have to pinch this and forward it. :thumbsup2
     

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