I fail to see how she is being controlling. I know her pretty well too, and she is a good person, who gave someone she cared about a loan when they were "desperate" and now he'd rather party than pay her back.
Y'know, I don't see it as "he'd rather party than...". This isn't your typical partying. It's not as if he's going out three or four nights a week with the guys and getting wasted.
He made a commitment to the groom, probably long before his car died and needed to be replaced.
Part of being in this wedding party involves certain obligations of which he was aware either at the beginning or as plans were made.
It's pretty 'interesting' that, it appears, she would not be demanding he cut back on what she considers frivolous expenditures if he was spending his money on her instead of on the wedding.
Again, by not borrowing the money he could be paying the bank only $16 and change more per month than he is (yes, I realize I made assumptions about the loan - I calculated it at 10% for three years). Sure, that would have ultimately cost him $81+ over the thirty-six months over what he instead has to pay back in what seems to be a very brief period, but then there'd be no friction.
I still agree with her and think it's sad that my other friend is throwing away a good relationship with someone willing to help him get his finances in order to hang out with strippers.
It sounds like this was the plan for the bachelor party all along? It doesn't appear he hangs out with strippers on a regular basis. I agree with whoever said it sounds like the person with the money is being overly controlling. Now it's not just about the money, it's expanded into with whom he spends time - even though the bachelor party is a one-shot deal.
I don't know when the respective parties were scheduled. I will be honest though, if my bf wanted to go get a lap dance on a milestone bday of mine instead of being with me, I'd kick his butt to the curb, stat.
Nope. First things first. You don't have a timeline, apparently, but given all the planning involved in a wedding combined with you being happy the couple was together long enough for you to become friends with the GF - sounds like, most likely, the wedding festivities were planned before they even started dating.
After talking to HER a little more, I asked her flat out if she was po'd because of the strippers. She said no. She said she's mad because since her bf's car died, she stepped up and helped him out and was proud of him (and told him so) that he told her he would cancel something he had planned for the month coming up to start paying her back sooner.
Then he told her it was her bday plans he was cancelling. So she steps up, loans him the cash, and he's not even willing to forgo 1/2 a bachelor party for a guy he sees 2 times a week anyway, to keep his plans with her.
It's too bad, but she made an assumption. He could have been more transparent, sure, but she should have confirmed exactly what he would be cancelling.
