This is really minor compared to what so many people are going through, I realize that and feel bad even posting this, but this is really upsetting me. I LOVE Disney, so much. Ever since my last trip a little over 2 years ago I've been dying to go back. That trip was a solo one and it was as perfect as it could have been, even though nothing special happened. So fast forward to this year. I finally had a good job, and started saving money to go, as did my DBF. I was so excited about the trip the whole time before it, up to a week before. Then, I would sometimes be excited, sometimes numb, and sometimes it didn't seem real that I was actually going, with my DBF no less, which was a big dream of mine. Then it was time to go to the aiport and I was a little excited I guess, but mostly I could take it or leave it, and kind of wished I could postpone the trip until I felt extremely excited again, but knew that there was no way. Anyway, I got on the plane...didn't even get scared like I usually do...my DBF was very excite (I was semi nervous he wouldn't like Disney or the trip in general). Once I landed in Orlando, it felt like I was in a dream....not in a good way though, it literally felt like I was dreaming about going to Disney and would wake up at any moment. I felt like this wasn't my life. I don't know how to explain it, but I just felt off. The first few days seemed like they just flew by, like they didn't even happen to me. I remember everything but it was like it happened to someone else. Now, I have less than a week left and I'm getting really depressed for two reasons: one, I don't want to go back home, I want to stay here forever (who doesn't, right) and two, I feel like my vacation and all the money I paid for it was a waste, because I couldn't enjoy it like I hoped to, or even just feel normal and like myself here. I'm also sad that maybe I'm ruining the trip for my DBF. He hasn't complained once and I've been trying to not let my feelings show, but I did cry twice for a while when I couldn't help it anymore. I just feel sad about everything, and mostly the fact that I feel like I won't have any good memories from the trip and will feel like I was never here, even though plenty of happy things happened. Some not so good, sure, but nothing is perfect! This should be a happy time and now I feel like it would be a lie to remember it as a happy time since I'm feeling depressed a lot of the time. But my DBF is happy and in a way I am extremely happy to be here (I don't want to go back, after all...) Up until the week leading up to the trip I was 100% fine, as fine as I have ever felt. I had no depression, nothing. I know it's a long shot and there's probably nothing anyone can do but I'm hoping someone will say something that will make me cope with this better or something that will make me take my mind off of the fact that this will be over soon. And I know, I probably should and WILL go to a doctor once I get home. I see a therapist back home on a regular basis and will be seeing her once I return. I'm just looking for something to help me now, since going to a therapist or a doctor now is not an option as I don't live in the US. Sorry for the huge post, and thanks in advance to anyone who can help.