Has anyone been this mad before?

Discussion in 'UK Community Board' started by crumblesmum, Mar 7, 2002.

  1. crumblesmum

    crumblesmum Earning My Ears

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    Hi guys,
    (Sorry, A bit long but suffering the efects of paranoia)

    Okay, it seemed a good idea at the time:D However, will I be able to go through with it !

    After xmas, suffering the DIS withdrawal symptons (you all know what I mean),Stu and I booked to go back in November. DD said she stay at home :p sure not a problem. She's 17, upper sixth in school, off to university next summer, Sensible, mature, very bright, her father lives over the other side of the city, good friends and neighbours will keep a close eye on her.
    I just forgot that she has no common sense and is a teenager :(
    Will my lovely house still be standing when I get home ?
    Will it be the place to go and party?
    Will the neighbours ever speak to us again?
    Will she wash any clothes/ cook a meal / burn the house down ?
    Will she forget to feed the cat and will he starve to death ?
    Will I know the location of every phone box in Orlando by the time we come home?

    Has anyone left a teenager alone before ?? HELP
     
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  3. WDWfan uk

    WDWfan uk <font color=red>.... but you can call me Shirley :

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    Ermm......... you just said she was sensible and bright ;)
    Hmm, this is an individual thing - one 17 year old may throw a thousand parties and reek mayhem, another will be responsible, feed the cat, perhaps miss out on the housework but be no problem at all.
    She isn't going to go through a complete personality change when you leave, so if you think she is responsible, trustworthy and capable, she probably will be :)
    That said, I know I will feel the same as you when it's my turn, even though I consider my older son to be responsible and trustworthy. It is only natural to have these concerns and I hope it all turns out fine :) ........ I reckon you'll be phoning home a few times :) ( I know I would!)
     
  4. UKDEB

    UKDEB <font color=CC33FF>Found the Tag Fairy's hangout<b Moderator

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    Karen,

    I know exactly how you feel. I have two daughters, 17 and 15, and I long to go away on an adults only trip (just for the weekend would be great for a start!), but I just can't bring myself to do it. I think I would be worrying myself sick the entire time and not be able to enjoy it. Having said that, there has to come a time when you let go. At 18 they are adults and can do what they like.

    We are letting elder dd go on holiday with her friends (no adults) this summer. Luckily she only wants to go to Newquay - I was dreading the request for Ibiza, LOL!

    I think only you can answer this for yourself. It's not so much about whether she will be alright, responsible, etc - I'm sure she will. It's about how you will react and whether it will spoil your holiday. One thought, though. Could she have a friend stay with her?
     
  5. Pcross

    Pcross Earning My Ears

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    Do you have parents/inlaws who could perhaps stay with your daughter whilst you are away? thats waht we do, Our son who is 16 loves it when his grandparents stay (spoiled rotten).

    But looking back, I was left at 17, and was fine (long while ago though!). It just depends how mature your DD is.

    Good luck!
    PAt
     
  6. AlisonB

    AlisonB <font color=990000>Bonzo's DW!!<br><font color=blu

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    Mmmm tough one!

    If it was me, I think I'd prefer it if she had a 'named' friend to stay the whole time (vetted - so therefore sensible also!).

    I'd also arrange for a member of the family to physically call round every other day or so, to check everything's OK. I'd also personally speak to the neighbours both sides and explain the situation, encourage them to go and knock on the door if the music's too loud for example, and leave a phone number of a nominated troubleshooting family member, who could be contacted in case of ongoing problems.

    Lastly, I'd explain that this is a test run for future 'home alone' trips and you will not hesitate to refuse to do it again if she's not responsibe enough!

    There! Sorted!

    (PS We've just a miserable 3 weeks with our next door neighbour's son home alone - aged 20 btw - after the rest of the family went away!)
     
  7. Sian

    Sian Mouseketeer

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    My DD 17 wants to stay in my house when I take her two younger brothers to Disney next December. I am considering it and I think she and a girlfriend would be quite sensible. My worry is that once the word gets out around school/college that there are teenagers 'home alone' lots of uninvited teenagers will turn up on the doorstep, alcohol in hand, ready to party. I know this has happened to friends of mine. If I let her stay, it will be on the strict conditions of
    (a) she keeps it very quiet and doesn't boast at college
    (b) she has a contingency plan for gatecrashers
    (c) no other friends apart from a named one or two are allowed in which should stop a 'quiet get together' turning in to a fully fledged party
     
  8. Aprilimgoing

    Aprilimgoing Mouseketeer

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    we left our two alone home last year 19 &17. My mother came down to "baby sit". They hated it, and said it was the worst thing. We did this because about 2 years ago we went to party and stayed out overnight...when we returned, there had been a PARTY. Door broken, garden trampled ect ect Hence when we went to turkey last year Mother came down. On our return they said that if she came down again they would move out for the duration!.

    We are going back to Turkey this year for three weeks and are leaving them here, (sorry breaking into a cold sweat now at thought)

    They learnt from the party incident (forgiveness did not come easy), and i am fairly confident that they will be fine as will the house. THe neighbours have keys to house, and instructions to intervene if they are not happy.

    I think there comes a time when you just have to trust them (LOL) fingers crossed and pray.


    Tanya
     
  9. Claire44

    Claire44 Mouseketeer

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    Our DD was just 18 last year when we went to Orlando. Even though she had been to Tenerife last summer with her boyfriend we wouldn't let her stay at home - she went to stay at my mum's for the 2 weeks we were away. The main reasons for this were:-

    Getting up in a morning after she has been last in the night before and finding the door unlocked.

    Going into her bedroom to open her curtains in a morning to find she has gone to work leaving curling tongues switched on.

    Coming in after her and finding her in bed asleep and the TV and lights still on downstairs.

    She doesn't agree with having to go to my mum's but at the end of the day we always point out that it is our house and we have worked a long time for what we have got and I know that if we left her I wouldn't enjoy my holiday the same as I would be thinking has she turned things off, has she locked the door, etc.
     
  10. crumblesmum

    crumblesmum Earning My Ears

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    Thanks everyone for all your answers and good advice.
    DD looked at the posts too " Oh mum - How could you? I'll be moving out and going to uni next year" was the retort.
    Her dad as invited her to stay with him (she threatened to leave home at that suggestion)
    My friend has invited her to stay with her too. She does have some nice sensible friends who stay over quite often, I had'nt thought of inviting one for the two weeks, good idea Alison.
    Kyleigh must be growing up cos she doesn't want to come on holiday with us this year, she's off to Paris for a week in the summer with friends from school. She's been on loads of school and army cadet trips of up to 2 weeks duration and has been left for weekends at home alone on numerous occasions. (she has a p/time job and can't get off for many weekends).
    She is adament she's staying here :rolleyes:
    I'm sure it'll be fine with no parties Tanya
    LOL Debbie - The IBIZA request :eek: - OH GOD
     
  11. crumblesmum

    crumblesmum Earning My Ears

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    Thanks everyone for all your answers and good advice.
    DD looked at the posts too " Oh mum - How could you? I'll be moving out and going to uni next year" was the retort.
    Her dad as invited her to stay with him (she threatened to leave home at that suggestion)
    My friend has invited her to stay with her too. She does have some nice sensible friends who stay over quite often, I had'nt thought of inviting one for the two weeks, good idea Alison.
    Kyleigh must be growing up cos she doesn't want to come on holiday with us this year, she's off to Paris for a week in the summer with friends from school. She's been on loads of school and army cadet trips of up to 2 weeks duration and has been left for weekends at home alone on numerous occasions. (she has a p/time job and can't get off for many weekends).
    She is adament she's staying here :rolleyes:
    I'm sure it'll be fine with no parties Tanya
    LOL Debbie - The IBIZA request :eek: - OH GOD
     
  12. Sue's Mum

    Sue's Mum DIS Veteran

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    Tough one, and I have nothing to add to all the advice given already. It's a leap of faith - and a difficult one at that. Good luck.:)
     
  13. Hilary

    Hilary There's always something new to learn!

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    I'm only just cathcing up with this thread - and I don't have any quick-fix soution either, I'm afraid!

    I think the most important consideration is do you trust her, and can you have a neighbour to keep an eye on things (discreetly or otherwise)? If the answer is "yes", then I guess this November is going to be as good a time as any to put the idea to the test!

    Good luck :)
     
  14. Janice

    Janice Super Shopper

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    I can sympathise with your dilemma - been there, done that springs to mind :)

    I think you have been given some sound advice and can't really add anything more worthwhile but I think the fact that you have been away for weekends and left DD at home alone, and have not had any problems is a big, big bonus.

    This was how we started with our son and found it the best way to guage when we were confident in leaving him for the fortnight!

    Just an amusing story to tell here - first time we went away for a weekend and left him, he was about 15. DD was only 12 and a half and she went to stay with my brother in the next road. We came home, and found the house to be intact but knew something had gone on because a Window Cill had no ornaments on it - and this was where I kept my Lilliput Lane collection! When questioned, James said, "Oh - I put them away for safekeeping, I didnt trust myself!" "Why?" we asked. :) :) "Oh well, I had a couple of friends round to watch the Football on the TV and if West Ham scored, we might have got excited and knocked one of them off!" DH being a Chelsea supporter said, "Oh well, not much of a problem there then eh son?" - but what James had failed to tell us, that whilst he was moving the sofa to get to the ornaments, he forgot he had been ironing his trousers (ON THE FLOOR!!!) and knocked the iron over and burned the carpet. Whilst moving the armchair to cover the burn mark on the carpet, he caught the leg of the chair on his foot and the already dodgy caster came off! Luckily the next project anyway was decorating the lounge, new carpet and new furniture!

    :)
     
  15. squitty

    squitty <font color=006633>With a little bit of Pixie Dust

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    LOL Janice...:)

    I dont think I can be of any help to you Karen, just thought I'd let you know your not alone:)
    Our DD has just turned 16 and has made it clear that she doesn't want to come on holiday with us. I have been on holiday without her before but she had to go stay with her Grandma, but now she seems to think she is old enough to stay in the house. I have not booked anything yet!!We dont know what to do...:)
     
  16. Nita

    Nita Mouseketeer

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    Tough cookie read this thread with interest
    as I will have all this to come in a few years some good idea's from everyone
    Teenagers ;)
     
  17. crumblesmum

    crumblesmum Earning My Ears

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    Thanks again for replies guys,

    Problem hopefully solved, Kyleigh's freind is going to move in for the 2 weeks (she's 18)
    BUT this could lead to more problems - Couldn't it?

    Oh yes, I forgot to share this little gem. Kyleigh asks "Does DD mean - Dosy Daughter ?" How perceptive she is !!!!!!
     
  18. bridda

    bridda Earning My Ears

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    Hi
    This post touched a nerve with me as I have an 18 year old son who has never been left at home alone.
    The issue for me is not whether he'd cope (he probably would), but whether I'd be able to relax and enjoy the holiday.
    I realise it would be my problem, not his but I cant see any way round it.
    Best of luck

    Bridda
     

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