Hacking the System (Story) *Part 8 Up!*

Discussion in 'VMK Creations' started by CoolTrainerTerry, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. CoolTrainerTerry

    CoolTrainerTerry DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2005
    Messages:
    692
    I have decided to post my short story that I had to write for my English class. It revolves around VMK after hours and hackers.

    Part 1:

    “I’m so close to finishing this! I can’t stop now!” a man nervously mumbled as he glanced at the clock on his computer screen.

    “You have to. It’s almost midnight and it will be closing for the night. We can resume this tomorrow where we left off,” another guy said from the shadows.

    “But, I’m so close to finishing it, though. I can’t quit now.”

    “You’re going to have to quit.”

    “But-“

    “NOW!”

    “Yes, sir.”

    **********

    “Taylor, get off, now! You’re up way past your bed time,” a woman screamed from down the stairs.

    “Can’t I stay on until closing? Please?” Taylor said from his room.

    “Fine, but after that, it’s time for bed.”

    Taylor grinned as he turned back to his computer screen. He would get to stay on VMK for the first time until closing. As a sort of custom, VMKer’s would gather in a room and line up and start to dance. The most famous room would be the Castle Forecourt with the statue of Walt and Mickey in the middle of it.

    “This is so cool. I’ve never been in a closing line before,” Taylor’s character, FantaStitch, said, as a speech bubble appeared over the character’s head.

    “Are you serious?” a speech bubble said above a girl character.

    “Yeah, I’m never on this late at night.”

    Then, the screen became slightly opaque as a box appeared that said the VMK would be closed for the night and would be open tomorrow starting at 7:00 A.M.

    “Good night!”


    I will post Part 2 if I can get...let's say...10 comments. :thumbsup2
     
  2. Avatar

    Google AdSense Guest Advertisement


    to hide this advert.
  3. birdman94

    birdman94 <font color=darkorchid>Poster from a Wii and a DS,

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,846
    sont stop its getting good
     
  4. Idol_Fan

    Idol_Fan <font color = blue>Poor Tigger! Next thing you kno

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2006
    Messages:
    734
    For a second i htought Nano started this thread LOL
     
  5. Captain Brain

    Captain Brain <font color=teal>School is so draining<br><img src

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2005
    Messages:
    23,961
    Sounds nice, if I could ever remember my ideas, I would do something like this. :teeth:
     
  6. CoolTrainerTerry

    CoolTrainerTerry DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2005
    Messages:
    692
    You actually like it? Cool.

    Oh, and should I mention it's a story in the title?
     
  7. Idol_Fan

    Idol_Fan <font color = blue>Poor Tigger! Next thing you kno

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2006
    Messages:
    734
    1. YES we love it :sunny:

    2. Maybe Lol
     
  8. CoolTrainerTerry

    CoolTrainerTerry DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2005
    Messages:
    692
    Okay, added it was a story.

    Just seven more comments.
     
  9. CoolTrainerTerry

    CoolTrainerTerry DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2005
    Messages:
    692
    I see that people are reading this. If you like it, say so. If you don't, say so. I don't care.
     
  10. cuteswimgirl

    cuteswimgirl hey i will just call you super star.. only cause i

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2006
    Messages:
    773
    wow that is greaT!
     
  11. Nanoer

    Nanoer 1 kn0W @ l@Ngu4G3 tH3 T@9 F4IRY DOe5N'+ S0 1 c4N +

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2005
    Messages:
    3,213
    HAHA I thought that too I KID YOU NOT!
     
  12. cuteswimgirl

    cuteswimgirl hey i will just call you super star.. only cause i

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2006
    Messages:
    773
    ok next story please please!
     
  13. astrostan

    astrostan Aspiring Imagineer

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    994
    This sounds really good. :banana: :banana: :cool1:
     
  14. pgsmfan1

    pgsmfan1 Does the Tag Fairy like to play on VMK?

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2006
    Messages:
    247
    It's great! Please keep writing!
     
  15. Someybody

    Someybody Sitting here.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    2,825
    More more more! I got really mad you didn't write more!
     
  16. Talentless

    Talentless Pirate Queen! Yoho! Yoho! A Pirates life for me!

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    75
    i lvoe it, please next story
     
  17. Alionette

    Alionette DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,231
    Great job! :thumbsup2 :thumbsup2 (2 thumbs up) Keep going! Can't wait to see what happens :rolleyes1
     
  18. CoolTrainerTerry

    CoolTrainerTerry DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2005
    Messages:
    692
    Part 2:

    There is a secret about VMK that nobody knows. At night, when VMK closes, all of the characters come to life. They would walk around VMK like they were being controlled, but they were not, they were moving of their own free will. They could talk and interact with each other like normal people. They were also limited from things, like spending their credits or moving around furniture in their guest room.

    After closing, the characters would be teleported back to their guest room.

    FantaStitch immediately teleported back to one of his guest rooms, Mad Main Home, and walked over to a Blue Philharmagic Chair and sat down. He looked around the room that was modeled after the Mad Hatter’s House in the movie Alice in Wonderland. The room was decorated with all types of furniture, most of which came from in-park quests at Disney World in Florida. There was a candlestick that resembled Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast, a poster of the movie Herbie: Fully Loaded, as well as a couch that resembled Herbie, a Blue Hong Kong Disneyland Saucer Chair, and a Stitch’s Rocket Teleporter, a Big Thunder Mountain Railroad Teleporter, and a Narnia Wardrobe Teleporter, leading to other guest rooms owned by FantaStitch.

    All of a sudden a giant murmur of pixels rearranged the entire room, putting the face of Lumiere onto the Herbie Couch, and messing up the rest of the room. After a moment, the pixels went back to normal.

    “Please do not be alarmed. We had some technical difficulties with the main server, but we fixed them. Everything is going to be fine,” a voice said from somewhere in the game.

    FantaStitch got up from his seat and exited the room. He then proceeded to the Castle Forecourt. He didn’t know why, but it was like an invisible thread was leading him there.

    Suddenly, he stopped. He was frozen in place.

    “Come this way,” a calm, gentle voice said from the distance.

    As if by magic, warmth started to spread throughout his body, and he was able to move again. FantaStitch began to run towards the voice. Periodically, the voice would appear again, telling him to go this way or that.

    “Who are you?” FantaStitch asked the voice.

    “I am but a mere entity of all that is good and right.”

    “So, you are like a spirit of some sort?”

    “Yes…and no. I am the spirit of a computer program, but I am also the computer program itself.”



    Any improvements? And remember, this is a short story I did for school, it won't go into that much detail, but I will think about expanding this idea to make it longer if you want me to later on.
     
  19. Someybody

    Someybody Sitting here.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    2,825
    Hmm, maybe FantaStitch should be with someone and then they could both save VMK or die. But we need more!
     
  20. CoolTrainerTerry

    CoolTrainerTerry DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2005
    Messages:
    692
    :p ;) :rolleyes1 :p ;) :rolleyes1

    Only time will tell. :hourglass
     
  21. ChakiChu

    ChakiChu Earning My Ears

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2006
    Messages:
    52
    Hm...this reminds me a lot of .HACK, have you heard of it? Its a really good game/anime, but its not for the under-13 croud.

    Great story though! Keep writing!
     

Share This Page