Getting my daughter to bundle up

[Rhona 07]

something is not right with this.

Please don't call me a troll because IF you did, I'd be angry.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I know she doesn't unzip it when I'm not around because I get told that by her friends and teachers.

Try and not nag her. Let her--for just one day deal with the natural consequences.

I'm sure it is cold in Scotland right now. But if there are 90mph gusts and she is in the elements, there are greater concerns than a zipped jacket.

Around here where we can be subject to strong thunderstorms, Tropical Storms, and Hurricanes--90mph means you are hunkering down in a building and going nowhere.

I honestly think you need to relax a little.
And not let her walk to school in hurricane force winds.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry I've not been on in about 24 hours.

To anyone asking the temperature, all I know is its really cold which we get a lot here in Bonnie Scotland.

Now, regarding the "learn from natural consequences" comments, I really don't think that is a good idea for days that wind is gusting at about 90 miles an hour

When weather is as bad as that my daughter has no option but to zip her jacket, put up the hood (or wear a hat) and put on gloves.

I know weather can vary by terrain in Scotland based on my googling...

But present temperature in Avimore is 47 degrees F and it feels 10 degrees cooler at 2:45 in the morning. (I'm plugging in all sorts of towns and cities from different regions and it appears that temps are generally in the 40s in the middle of the night right now.)

I get that conditions may feel blustery--but there is room for natural consequences. It would not be dangerous to not zip a jacket. Air temp and wind chill are two different things.

It seems your daughter is just made to live where it is really cold.

 

[nugov2]

Sorry I've not been on in about 24 hours.

To anyone asking the temperature, all I know is its really cold which we get a lot here in Bonnie Scotland.

Now, regarding the "learn from natural consequences" comments, I really don't think that is a good idea for days that wind is gusting at about 90 miles an hour

When weather is as bad as that my daughter has no option but to zip her jacket, put up the hood (or wear a hat) and put on gloves.

I don't think winds that high are typical in Scotland, so probably that type of weather is an exception. I think if you ease up on the requirement of being zipped up most of the time and then require it on extreme weather days you'll get less resistance. I also think finding out why is important. Is she too hot, a hat is too itchy etc. Also if you are driving her to school which it sounds like you are, I think it is even less necessary for her to be completely bundled up If she is only outside for a few minutes at a time. Unless temps are subzero ( and 30 degrees with high winds don't fall into this category ) being unzipped and without a hat pose no health threat to your dd. YMMV, but you asked for advice and that is mine.

 

[pocomom]

If you can't win the coat in the winter battle when she is 6 how are you going to win the bootie-shorts and tube top battle when she is 16?
.

Well I didn't have the winter coat battle and now with a teen I'm not having the bootie shorts battle either.

I taught my daughter to listen to and respect her body. And I started by listening and respecting it myself.

 

[pocomom]

I have already said that I don't like the "learn from natural consequences" rule because I think its too dangerous to her health, just imagine going outside in 90+ mph winds with either no jacket on or the jacket unzipped!!

Then what are you looking for? When something does pass my test (which this doesn't to me) as being a RULE no matter what , then it is just the rule and sometimes my kids don't like it.
And what exactly do you think will happen in 90 mph wind that a jacket will prevent? And why are you going out in a hurricane?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Okay, assuming that this is a genuine post... If the OP is in Scotland, and most of us here are in the US, there is probably a large culture difference.

If the one poster who mentions temperatures in the 40's is correct, then most of us would never really consider that to be that cold!!!!
There are places here in the mid-west and the north of the US where temps are commonly in the single digits and teens!

In 40'F weather, my kid would go out in a heavier hoodie, like one of his UnderArmor Storm hoodies. Would not even consider bundling up and zipping up for short jaunts outside.

And, to the poster who mentioned that all parents get judged... of course that is true!
But, I am talking a very specific situation where almost every pre-school and early education teacher, and yes, may parents, just harp and go on and on about this kind of thing with dressing and independence. Not just those 'looks' or 'rolled eyes' or overheard muttered comments.
I was not referring to mommie judging and bashing in general, but a very specific thing.

I have been to Eastern Europe, where it is often cold, at times even if a big front comes thru in the summer.
Every one there lives, year round, like kids and folks are gonna die if they don't have enough clothing and outerwear. They are like afraid of any breeze or draught.
Honest to goodness, we were there and it was almost July, it was humid and warm, even by my southern US standards.
The only place we saw ANY air moving, at all, were the fans brought in by the folks at the US Embassy!!!
Low and behold, like 48 hours later, one of those fronts came thru, and it was FREEZING!!!

 

[bsblady01]

Please don't call me a troll because IF you did, I'd be angry.

who is calling you anything

 

[Magpie]

I have already said that I don't like the "learn from natural consequences" rule because I think its too dangerous to her health, just imagine going outside in 90+ mph winds with either no jacket on or the jacket unzipped!!

As someone else has pointed out - the winds are not 90 mph plus. That's hurricane force wind.

I'm in Canada. I'm pretty sure it gets just as cold and windy where I am, as it does where you are. In fact, most of the winter, we're dealing with snow and the kiddos don't wear "jackets", they wear snowsuits, boots, mitts and scarves over their faces.

Cold weather is not inherently dangerous to your child's health. You will not get sick from being cold. You can't get a "cold in your kidneys" from getting chilled, like my mother-in-law claims. Unless your child manages to get some distance from home without her jacket, she WILL put it on when she starts to get chilly. She'll put her mitts on when her fingers begin to hurt.

Just for comparison: I overheat very easily, and when I've been outside walking the dog for a bit, I typically start unzipping my layers. That's the whole point of having layers in the first place! I'll also take off my hat and mitts, to allow the heat the vent a bit. And I'm talking about nice days when it might get down to -15 Celcius (5 F). If it's windy and -25 (-13 F), I'll stay zipped up.

And I've got nothing on my son, who regularly goes out in a light jacket and without a hat. Or one of my students, who is a little Inuit girl, and who I occasionally see outside playing in the snow in nothing but shorts, boots, and a light jacket. That's a mum who knows how to pick her battles!

All that said, if - for whatever reason - this is terribly important to you, then try to disengage emotionally from the conflict. Make sure your daughter's coat is on a hook where she can easily reach it. Consider installing a thermometer. Calmly explain that when the temperature is below (whatever arbitrary temperature you decide on) that means she can't go anywhere without her coat on, hood up, zipper zipped. Don't get angry. Don't bargain, threaten, or plead. If you have somewhere you need to be at a particularly time, and she refuses to dress herself, then calmly say, "If you can't put your own jacket on, then I will put it on for you." Do so, in an efficient, no-nonsense manner. Rinse, repeat. No fighting, just the exact same routine every morning. If you're going out to something fun but not essential, and she fights you over the jacket, just skip it. Go get yourself a magazine and sit down. When she asks, "What about our fun outing?" explain that if she can't manage to put her own jacket on, then she'll be staying home. The first time she puts her own jacket on, voluntarily, make sure you smile and comment positively. Be happy when she's cooperative. The rest of the time, be calm. Don't carry a grudge.

Basically, treat her jacket like a seatbelt. If it's non-negotiable, then it's non-negotiable.

 

[Wishing on a star]

All that said, if - for whatever reason - this is terribly important to you, then try to disengage emotionally from the conflict. Make sure your daughter's coat is on a hook where she can easily reach it. Consider installing a thermometer. Calmly explain that when the temperature is below (whatever arbitrary temperature you decide on) that means she can't go anywhere without her coat on, hood up, zipper zipped. Don't get angry. Don't bargain, threaten, or plead.
.... If you're going out to something fun but not essential, and she fights you over the jacket, just skip it. Go get yourself a magazine and sit down. When she asks, "What about our fun outing?" explain that if she can't manage to put her own jacket on, then she'll be staying home. The first time she puts her own jacket on, voluntarily, make sure you smile and comment positively. Be happy when she's cooperative. The rest of the time, be calm.

MTE!!!!

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Does Scotland measure wind in mPH? I didn't think anyone outside the US would know what a mile per hour was.

Anyhow, if you are sending your child out in 90mph winds, I am judging you. Not for the lack of mittens and coat, but for the real mortal danger you are subjecting the child to. Winds that strong will do some damage.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I hate coats and hats and mittens. I get cold easily, but unless it is well below freezing, the discomfort of being cold is less than the discomfort of all that heavy winter gear, so i usually go without.

DD, 3, gets hot very easily. She sweats when I'm shivering. She let's me know if she's cold and we bundle her when she says she's cold, but if she refuses a coat, we don't force it. If it is dangerously cold, or if we'll be out awhile, I am more pushy about it, but usually anything goes above freezing doesn't get me too worried

 

[cjbcam]

I MAKE my kids wear their winter gear. We live where it gets really, really cold. They have come inside with frost bite on their cheeks because their scarf wasn't up all the way without even realizing it. I don't think it's a choice for 6&8 year olds to make. They hate it but too bad. My 11&13 year olds are also made to wear their touque, gloves and winter jacket. They can make the decision now if they like the feeling of their legs and skin thawing. Unless, of course,they are going to be out for a significant amount of time then they are told to gear up.

 

[Rhona 07]

I MAKE my kids wear their winter gear. We live where it gets really, really cold. They have come inside with frost bite on their cheeks because their scarf wasn't up all the way without even realizing it. I don't think it's a choice for 6&8 year olds to make. They hate it but too bad. My 11&13 year olds are also made to wear their touque, gloves and winter jacket. They can make the decision now if they like the feeling of their legs and skin thawing. Unless, of course,they are going to be out for a significant amount of time then they are told to gear up.

So how do you get them to zip their jackets then?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Hang on to your kilts!

 

[Shanti]

Give her a pretty, warm vest. Kids don't look or feel as covered up wearing those as they do in regular jackets, but the vests still do a very good job keeping the body's core warm.

 

[cjbcam]

So how do you get them to zip their jackets then?

I just tell them to do them up. They know if they don't listen they don't get to go out the next time the want to. I've only had to keep my daughter in once because she knows I'm serious. You didn't listen and do up your coat/ wear your gloves like I told you. You can now miss play time outside with the other kids. My 5 year old has never protested. So far my 8 year old has been the only one and like I said it only took one time of her watching the others have fun outside.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I MAKE my kids wear their winter gear. We live where it gets really, really cold. They have come inside with frost bite on their cheeks because their scarf wasn't up all the way without even realizing it. I don't think it's a choice for 6&8 year olds to make. They hate it but too bad. My 11&13 year olds are also made to wear their touque, gloves and winter jacket. They can make the decision now if they like the feeling of their legs and skin thawing. Unless, of course,they are going to be out for a significant amount of time then they are told to gear up.

That is a safety issue.


I don't personally think the OP's daughter is in danger of frostbite if the OP has deemed a jacket sufficient enough.

 

[Rhona 07]

I just tell them to do them up. They know if they don't listen they don't get to go out the next time the want to. I've only had to keep my daughter in once because she knows I'm serious. You didn't listen and do up your coat/ wear your gloves like I told you. You can now miss play time outside with the other kids. My 5 year old has never protested. So far my 8 year old has been the only one and like I said it only took one time of her watching the others have fun outside.

So does that mean I am wrong to zip it myself if she ignores me?

 

[nugov2]

So does that mean I am wrong to zip it myself if she ignores me?

Nope, zip away if her not having a zipped up coat is a deal breaker for you. I still think you are creating a power struggle for no reason as the Temps are not dangerous and you don't know why she prefers not to zip, but if those issues have been dealt with or don't matter to you than zip away and if she unzips then she should have a consequence for doing it.