Future In-Laws against a Disney Wedding?

[SnowQueenSam]

Hello everyone!

I was recently toying with the idea of a Disney Wedding and discussed it with my fiance, even though we are not planning to get married for a bit, but we realized that his family would not be as open to it as mine.

I have a very Disney family with most of my family being DVC members, they get it.

His family hasn't been to Disney and they seem to believe it to be childish. As a whole they are quite judgmental, but I do want them to like me.

Do I give up a Disney wedding to, for lack of a better word, impress them?

I was wondering if anyone else dealt with this? Does anyone have advice?

 

[BigOrangeGal]

I am not one who does things to impress others, but I understand wanting to start the relationship with your in laws off on the right foot. My piece of advice is to discuss it with your fiance and see what he thinks. This is your day and both of you should be the ones who ultimately make the decision. I would also add that it is hard to please everyone, and during your marriage I believe you will find that to be impossible.

 

[LadyD]

My wife and I are the only members of our family who adore Disney. While most of our family understood we were hosting a wedding at Disneyland because it was important to us, there were a lot of people who were skeptical about a Disney wedding and were convinced it was going to be ridiculous (and potentially "childish"). Well, I am very happy to report that Disney impressed all of them and they are all saying that the wedding is one of the best they have ever been to and that they were very surprised about what an elegant affair it was. I hate drawing comparisons between weddings because I truly believe that everyone's day is unique to them and a special event that celebrates the couple in a way that is meaningful to them. Diana's cousin was married in Cabo about six months before us and that was much more of a traditional, beach destination wedding. Many members of Diana's family are saying they enjoyed the experience of our Disney wedding more than the Cabo wedding and think it was "better" than the Cabo wedding.

Just because you are hosting a wedding at Disney with Disney elements does not mean it won't be a spectacular event. You can still have all the traditional wedding elements, just in a setting that is meaningful to you and your fiancé. Unless his family is footing the wedding bill, I personally would disregard their opinions and prove them wrong by hosting a day that you and your fiancé will remember for the rest of your lives if Disney is what you have your hearts set on.

 

[greentea]

His family hasn't been to Disney and they seem to believe it to be childish. As a whole they are quite judgmental, but I do want them to like me.

Do I give up a Disney wedding to, for lack of a better word, impress them?

If you and your fiance are on the same page regarding the wedding, it doesn't matter what his family thinks. I think it is starting off on the wrong foot to pretend to be someone you're not.

I do understand wanting the family to like you, truly. But if they are already judgmental, that won't stop being that way just because you had an in-laws-approved wedding. It will just crop up the next time you do something they think is strange or childish or whatever else. Do what makes you both happy!

 

[sheri18]

My son is getting married at Disney World, and while we think it is way to much money to spend for the wedding it self and for all the expense to get there.....it was not our choice to make...it was there's...

your fiances parents may not understand (just like us)....but for the sake of our son we have decided to embrace the idea....

and also as we are not paying for any of this, it is not for us to say.

enjoy your day...they will come around.....I did......

 

[SnowQueenSam]

Thank you all so much for your input. It has given me the confidence to pursue a Disney wedding without caring what my fiance's family thinks.

 

[Mindyjoy]

How timely, I just wrote an article about this very subject! Bottom line is, it's your wedding and you should be free to get married wherever you like!

http://inspiredbydis.com/2015/01/disney-wedding-best-idea-ever/

 

[ncdj2013]

I say it is your wedding and if that is what you and your fiance want you should go for it. Besides it's not fair of them to judge when they have never been to Disney. I used to mistakenly think I had no interest in WDW until a friend talked me into going. I've been almost every year since.

 

[smadath]

... and also as we are not paying for any of this, it is not for us to say.

In my opinion, this is the key point. If you and your fiancé are paying for it, then have at it! If his parents are paying for part of it, then I think their opinion should be considered.

Also, if they have to travel a long distance to be there, it's possible they won't want to go. That might be something else to keep in mind.

If it doesn't pan out, that could always be a nice Honeymoon destination!

 

[usnuzuloose]

This is not about pleasing any parents or anyone else. This is between you and your Finance. Once you give in then it will always be that way. But congrats on your wedding.

 

[PrincessWish]

First of all, congratulations on your engagement and upcoming marriage. I can relate to your situation very much. My husband and I had a similar problem. We gave up our original plan of a Disney wedding and ended up eloping. I wish you the very best in whatever you might decide because I know this can be a difficult decision to make but in the end you will be married and in the end that is really what matters.

Hello everyone!

I was recently toying with the idea of a Disney Wedding and discussed it with my fiance, even though we are not planning to get married for a bit, but we realized that his family would not be as open to it as mine.

I have a very Disney family with most of my family being DVC members, they get it.

His family hasn't been to Disney and they seem to believe it to be childish. As a whole they are quite judgmental, but I do want them to like me.

Do I give up a Disney wedding to, for lack of a better word, impress them?

I was wondering if anyone else dealt with this? Does anyone have advice?

 

[ahutton]

My inlaws were not fans at all of a Disney wedding. However, DH and I did the tour because we were interested, and in the end he wanted a Disney wedding too, so we did it. We were told that nobody from his family would come, and they didn't. DH was ok with whoever could come and wanted to did, and that the others did not. He and I agreed to be ok with that, and in the end had a beautiful day.

As for feeling tense about inlaws - I still do. However, 18 years later any difficulties we have do not relate back to doing our wedding how we wanted . Their approval was not our first point of concern, and we continue to not allow their level of approval to shape our decisions. We listen to their advice and then make our own decisions and learn on our own.

Best wishes for a joyous life together!

 

[Melany502]

Hello everyone!

I was recently toying with the idea of a Disney Wedding and discussed it with my fiance, even though we are not planning to get married for a bit, but we realized that his family would not be as open to it as mine.

I have a very Disney family with most of my family being DVC members, they get it.

His family hasn't been to Disney and they seem to believe it to be childish. As a whole they are quite judgmental, but I do want them to like me.

Do I give up a Disney wedding to, for lack of a better word, impress them?

I was wondering if anyone else dealt with this? Does anyone have advice?

Do what you want to do otherwise you will regret it. You only get married once. You should have the wedding YOU want. Not what other people want. Trust me.. I regret not doing what I wanted to do.

 

[SnowQueenSam]

Everyone has been so helpful in giving me the confidence to pursue this and I thank you all very much! We haven't set a date, but I would love to share it with this community when it happens. Everyone is so supportive!

 

[goodmorningirl]

My husband's family were the same way. They are not Disney people and openly made fun of us all the way up until the actual day. But everyone was completely impressed and in awe of just how fantastic Disney was. It's been a year and a half and people are still talking about our wedding like it was yesterday. If you and your fiance want a Disney wedding, don't let other people influence that decision. Just remember, other people aren't planning their wedding thinking what you want, they are planning what they want, just as you should. Good luck!

 

[tekaye]

If your fiance loves Disney as much as you do, I would SO do it! You won't regret it. Congratulations!!!!!

 

[justgot2havefun]

Also, if they are against it because they think it will be childish and silly, perhaps by holding it there, you will show them how wrong they were about Disneyland/world and they may learn to love the parks too.

 

[disneyfan888]

I totally understand trying to get along with the family, but this is you and your future husband's big day and you have to do what is important to both of you. If Disney is a big part of you both of you then I think that is what you need to embrace as it reflects who both of you are. We can't please everyone when planning a wedding. When we were planning our Disney Wedding I struggled in the beginning because I was trying to make everyone happy and my husband and I quickly realized that was not going to happen as everyone is different so it is very difficult. In the end we did what was significant to us because it was our day. I have been very big on all things Disney since I was a baby and I always dreamed of getting married on my favorite place on earth. In order to please the majority of our guests I almost decided to go against my dream and have the wedding closer to everyone else and I can honestly say that I do not want to even imagine how sad I would have been had I done so. I am grateful to have such a wonderful husband who understands just how important Disney is to me. Our day was unforgettable and our family who made it to this day remind us that our wedding was one of the most beautiful ones they have ever been to.

If a Disney wedding means a lot to you I would say go for it. This is a day that celebrate's you both, celebrate by being you! Good luck and let us know how it goes

 

[LyndenP]

Hello
I'm late to this party, sorry.
My wife and I got married at the wedding Pavilion 11-10-10.
People thought we were crazy. Mother in law was not too keen on not being married in a church. But, we had a real man of the cloth (Rev. Tim) and that helped with that aspect. In the end, everyone who went (52) had a great time, treated it as a vacation and continue to talk about and compare how great our wedding was to others. I say do it. Enjoy it. Disney does an amazing job with weddings, we had a perfect day and couldn't be any happier with how the whole thing went.

 

[smiths02]

I think you do what you want. However, you said "toying with the idea." So is this your dream or just something that seems fun?
I don't know where all the friends/families are from, but a destination wedding can be difficult for guests to attend. I know lots of people who have saved for 3 years to take a family vacation only to feel obligated to spend it to attend a destination wedding. This can be upsetting if the destination is not really where they wanted to travel.
Now, you might be millionaires or everyone has to travel anyhow or you all live in FL anyhow...I'm just saying what I see.
A local wedding with a Disney honeymoon can allow more people to attend.