Funny Article..."Disney Magic?...My Tush"

Discussion in 'The DIS Unplugged Podcast' started by WaltD4Me, Jun 15, 2011.

  1. WaltD4Me

    WaltD4Me <font color=royalblue>PS...I tried asking for wate

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    I got a good laugh at this article...especially the end, I wasn't expecting it at all. Also sounds like the author may have spent some time here on the DIS. :rotfl:

    ===== Disney World: Magic, my Tush ========

    We've all seen the commercials: kids jumping for joy when their parents surprise them with a trip to Disney World. Huge smiles abound as the family whirls in tea cups, eats breakfast with princesses and hugs Mickey until the cows come home.

    You watch and can't help but feel jealous of the sheer happiness that this "Disney family" exhibits. It's contagious, and you do as the advertisement intends: book a family trip to the Magic Kingdom. Well, magic my tush.

    See, I recently experienced it with my two girls (ages 2 and 4), and it wasn't long before I realized why the commercials never depict the faces of the parents (they might never sell a ticket if they did!). Which brings me to...drum roll, please....my top 3 reasons to rethink that Disney vacation:

    1. Hurry Up...Then Wait

    I knew the long lines would be an issue before I even bought our tickets. Taking in everyone's advice, I had meticulously planned our strategy: Fast Pass for quick entry, arrive at the opening whistle, walk left upon entering the gate.

    There I was with my Excel sheet, Disney phone app, and daily family pow-wows to determine who's going where and what was required to reserve special breakfasts and dinners with the certain characters, months in advance. I'm pretty sure Ulysses S. Grant sketched out fewer plans before going into battle.

    But in truth, even a 1000-page tome on navigating Disney wouldn't eliminate the long, long, did I mention long, lines for rides, character photo opps and more. And we all know there is no chance of persuading your young child that she doesn't need the photo or autograph. A two-and-a-half hour wait for one photo with a young woman in a plastic dress with straw hair down to her feet? You betcha, been there and done that (at least five times in three days).

    2. It's A Small (and Scary) World

    A lot of the rides and movies at Disney are truly scary. In fact, there should be warning signs to register the expected degree of fear, like the minimum height signs. Turns out, Mickey Mouse in 3-D isn't so easy on the little ones' eyes; my girls have refused to see a movie since.

    Plus, fireworks go off almost every hour. So if your kid isn't into booming, ear-splitting noise, you're in for a treat. My kids - not big fans of gun-shot-loud sounds - were ready for A Magic Carpet Ride right back to the hotel.

    3. Money Doesn't Grow On Trees, Even in Disney

    Holy Expensive! The last time I spent that much for a sandwich, I was at the Carnegie Deli in Manhattan looking at the pictures of George Burns and Gene Kelly on the wall before hitting a Broadway show (And remember, there's enough turkey on that sandwich to feed Ulysses S. Grant's army). Add in a $3 Sprite, $4 bag of chips, hundreds for the hotel, hundreds for the park tickets, and wow - you've got a semester's college tuition, 16 years from now.

    [5 ways to save money at Disney World]

    So now that you've concluded I'm the Scrooge of Disney, let me tell you this: We're going back..and likely, more than once. Because despite my grouchy take on the experience as a parent, it's really about those sweet and special moments that do indeed last a lifetime (even if you overhear one woman scream at her kids, "You can't be upset here. THIS IS OUR HAPPY PLACE!").

    And, after all, it's those memories, fun, scary, silly, happy, fearful, that make up the colorful kaleidoscope of childhood. And it's our job as parents (and subsequent cash cows) to make sure the kids experience life every once in a while, to its fullest, Disney-style.
    ===================================================
    From Chicago Parent...here is the link
    http://chicagoparent.com/community/chitown-parent/2011/june/fitl-disney
     
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  3. myhouseofmouse

    myhouseofmouse Disney Dad

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    Great article....so saw that end coming!!!!...very cute ...
     
  4. DEA

    DEA DIS Veteran

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    That's the first time I've ever seen TWO Ulysses S Grant mentions in one Disney article...
     
  5. roomthreeseventeen

    roomthreeseventeen Inaugural Dopey Challenge finisher

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    I used to cry at the thought of going on Space Mountain. Too scary for me!

    (Of course now I ride it over and over and over...)

    Great article.
     
  6. disneychic2

    disneychic2 DIS Veteran

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    Thanks for the smile.:flower3:
     
  7. sayhello

    sayhello Have Camera, Will Travel

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    Nothing at Disneyland was ever too scary for me as a kid!

    Now, the Wizard of Oz, on the other hand -- Nightmare City!!! :scared1:

    Sayhello
     
  8. roomthreeseventeen

    roomthreeseventeen Inaugural Dopey Challenge finisher

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    OT. When my husband first saw the WoOz in the movie theatre in 1955. He was five and his sister (the chaperone) was ten. Well, they got to the Wicked Witch, and Patrick would not stop crying. They got kicked out of the theatre, and walked home. Both he and his sister walked in the door crying, and his mother could not figure out why. Patrick was still scared of the witch, and Mary Jo was mad she had missed 3/4 of the movie. :wizard:
     
  9. sayhello

    sayhello Have Camera, Will Travel

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    Oh, that's so funny! Did they ever go back to see the rest of it?

    I never saw the WoOz in the theatre. They showed it year after year on TV. It was the Wicked Witch that got to me, too!

    Sayhello
     
  10. roomthreeseventeen

    roomthreeseventeen Inaugural Dopey Challenge finisher

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    I think he didn't see it again until the 60s. LOL.

    I saw Snow White in the theatre when I was 2, and don't remember being scared.
     
  11. princessbride6205

    princessbride6205 DIS Veteran

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    I understand what he means by scary for that 2-4 year old age range. We had two trips a few months apart last year (age 3), and on the second trip DD remembered everything as scary. She wouldn't even get on The Land boat because she remembered it had thunder! (Luckily she did warm up to other rides and shows.)
     
  12. Golf4food

    Golf4food Male pirate last time I checked. Yep. Still male.

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    No kidding. The guy is obsessed with Grant! Must have been watching those History Channel specials during Civil War week or something while writing the article.
     
  13. mdvlprof

    mdvlprof DIS Veteran

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    Fiddler on the Roof. The graveyard sceen was scary. Now, movie is one of my faves.
     
  14. WaltD4Me

    WaltD4Me <font color=royalblue>PS...I tried asking for wate

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    On my niece's first trip to WDW she was four. We took her on the boat road in Norway on our first day and she refused to do any other dark rides the rest of the trip. No PoTC, no, Snow White, ect...in fact she will still mention the scary trolls from that ride from time to time to this day and she is 12 now!
     
  15. disneyholic family

    disneyholic family <font color=teal>Wayne always catches me<br><font

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    great!!!

    i love the mother screaming at her kids, "You can't be upset here. THIS IS OUR HAPPY PLACE!"
     

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