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Frustrated and venting

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by minkydog, Feb 9, 2013.

  1. disneymarie

    disneymarie <font color=blue>Its a rumour about the donuts...<

    Don't take it personnel, really. When I was pregnant the last time only the thing your dh will not eat now were what I felt up to eating. Even years after dd was born I could not handle cooking off hamburg because of the grease.

    Keep things available he will like, make dinner a casual event, even some good frozen named dinners. Maybe even the smell of cooking makes a loss of appetite.
    It could be the smell, get ome ready made things, I am sure he wants to eat. I can only imagine the pain, and stomach reaction to the antibiotics. Just eat alone, be happy he will get better. Read on some food sites or health ones of people that adverse food appetites to suggest meals, or snack lite food that was agreeable.
    Like morning sickness, you can only tolerate when and what you can.
    Hugs for him to be better soon,
     
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  3. minkydog

    minkydog DIS Cast Member<br><font color=green>hey! I've got

    I think what he's experiencing is a lot like morning sickness. I had terrible morning sickness with all three kids. I wouldn't wish it on anyone! With him, the nausea and ickiness comes and goes all day.

    Things went a little better today. It's been cold and rainy all day, which usually puts him into a tailspin. He's coughing up stuff and using his nebulizer a lot. I finally made him go to bed for 3 hours and made a nice dinner. He ate very well and was very appreciative. :goodvibes

    Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Well, it *is* Mardi Gras. That means a big pot of jambalaya on the stove. It's made with rice, which is something he can eat. i don't make it very spicy, so perhaps we can all sit around in our beads and enjoy supper.:joker:
     
  4. davedmaine

    davedmaine New Member

    Most of us don't know what you're going through, so we can't empathize. We can sympathize though and wish you both the best. Sounds like you've been a real hero for you husband through this and I'm sure he appreciates it..
     
  5. kirstenb1

    kirstenb1 New Member

    Minky, the only thing I have to add is, try not to add extra stress. For instance, I was raised...clean your plate, we never throw food away, even if we eat the leftovers for the next 4 days. I don't know if you were raised the same way, but it really dictates how you view food/wasting of food.

    One thing I've found that is very freeing....the rest of my family has no problem with rejecting leftovers after 1 or 2 days. So why should I be stuck with them to eternity, lol!!!

    I know you know this, but for your dd, start with pasta/rice/potato, add a veggie, then it's easy to add meat for yourself. For your dh, just cook whatever will work for him that day, and try to take the pressure off yourself. Maybe you'll waste a little food, but think about the advice your best friend would give....ease up on yourself. :hug:
     
  6. disneymarie

    disneymarie <font color=blue>Its a rumour about the donuts...<

    I am glad that he ate, the baby steps one by one! With the cooler weather do you have a room heater to take dampness out of the air, ugh, while running a nice ultra sonic humidifier for the cough. Does sitting n the bathroom with the shower help. When my asthma is aggressive I feel better when doing this. The steam warms my bĂ´nes and water in the air to breath.

    Can you cook the jambalaya earlier and warm his up in a bowl later not the have aroma in the room prior to eating. He will start to get better, it is one day at a time until this is far behind you all.
    God bless,
     
  7. wilkeliza

    wilkeliza New Member

    My heart goes out to you. My mother and grandfather both went through this when they were going through their chemo. It is so hard to watch.

    Is there anything that is a 100 percent yes he will eat it if offered? If there is at least once a week sit down with him and have that meal with him. It will help relieve you of your guilt because you are sharing a meals with him at some point but for the rest of the week you can prepare things you like and know you will enjoy. For my grandpa it was pizza from this one restaurant. I always found it weird because the 23 years I knew my grandfather he never ate order in pizza and then all the sudden it was all he ate the last year of his life.

    Also if you don't have a family counselor it is probably time to find one and start seeing one. I know for me I found the sessions so freeing because I could say whatever I needed to with out feeling like I was being judged. I could cry to someone who I knew genuinely cared about me and could help me through the emotions of what was going on.

    At the end of the day love him and take care of him but also watch out for yourself. You have to come first at some point and not feel guilty about it.
     
  8. branv

    branv <font color=blue>The safety feature in my parents

    I am so sorry for your struggle. Caregivers go through so much, and so seldom have the support they need.

    I will truly say I can't imagine your situation, and this is so much more for you, including the companionship of sharing a wonderful meal you've prepared. But thought I might pass on one thing that has helped us during my current scent/food aversion problems related to pregnancy. Poor DH has just gotten left behind -- having to fend for himself, which means a lot of frozen meals, sandwiches, etc. Poor guy even had to switch to tea b/c if I smell coffee....oooooph. So he has taken to using the grill a lot. I know, it's FEBRUARY, so it's not great. But he can make a lot more things than he would not have been able to in here (even though he occasionally has to sit inside with the shades open to watch the grill due to the weather). He's had fish, all kinds of meat dishes, grilled veggies, even a pizza. Technically, with the gas grill, he could even cook things in a pot like stew or beans out there. If you have a covered porch, you could even use your crock pot or an electric griddle/pan outside.

    I know it's not ideal, but when smells are an issue...well, it has helped us anyway.

    Best wishes to you and your family.
     
  9. cabanafrau

    cabanafrau New Member

    It's great that you come here to vent and I absolutely understand that you have many reasons to do so. If I could gently say that maybe your plate has been running over for a long time and you might want to consider setting up with a professional to talk some of this stuff out? I'm not suggesting that to be nasty or say, hey, don't talk about that here. By all means, vent away. It's good to get it out. I'm just saying maybe it's time you truly made an effort to treat yourself more kindly and improve things for yourself in a solid way.

    I do wish you well and hope I'm not offending you.
     
  10. minkydog

    minkydog DIS Cast Member<br><font color=green>hey! I've got

    No offence taken. I had a good therapist but she moved away about 18mon ago. I prolly doi need to find another one.

    Y'all are never going to believe what DH wants for lunch. Gumbo! So now I'm off to find a restaurant that has decent gumbo!
     

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