For those with grandparents still alive...

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by TwoCortWort, Jan 8, 2013.

  1. TwoCortWort

    TwoCortWort A Buckeye Disney Princess

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    I am 31 years old (32 in March) and feel so blessed to have known all 4 of my grandparents for many years. I was 17 when my dad's dad passed and 29 when my mom's dad passed. My grandma's are both 85 years old and are in over-all good health, but my mom's mom is losing her mental capabilities, but it's not Alzheimer's but her sister died almost 2 years ago from the disease at 97.

    We have had a few family members pass over the past two years, my grandpa included. I had a cousin commit suicide in November and my dad is constantly talking about how the days are numbered for him and he constantly talks about my one grandpa.

    I try not to think about when my two grandmas may pass. I thank God each day they are still with me, but in the back of my mind I know how hard it will be the day it happens. I hate to face that reality, but right now I am enjoying the time I am still blessed to have with them.

    Anyone else think like my dad is or am I just missing something? I remember when my first grandpa died, they told me it would happen probably in 5 years the rest would go and it was 11 years. I am getting so sick of my dad talking about this topic and its like hello be happy they are alive and well, but with my moms mom headed the same way as her sister, it's on my mind what is yet to come....and it scares me.
     
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  3. tarzansmom

    tarzansmom I would rather be at Walt Disney World!

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    I think you are lucky to have them. I am 33 and never met any of my grandparents (they were gone before I was born) and my parents are both gone, dad passed in 2009 and mom a year later. I am an only child so at 33, I have no family left. Be grateful for every moment.
     
  4. LongLiveDisney

    LongLiveDisney DIS Veteran

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    At least you have our DIS family. :goodvibes
     
  5. abdmom

    abdmom DIS Veteran

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    If your dad's dad died 15 years ago, your dad must be getting close to the age his dad was when he died. One of the biggest predictors of our own life expectancy is that of our parents. As well, sometimes people have an inkling of when they will die. My own dad expected to live until about his dad's age, and he died when he was 3 years older than his dad was when he passed. My dh kept telling me for years that he was going to die young, and he did, at age 42, not having had any pre-existing medical conditions that would give such an indication.
     
  6. MissManda

    MissManda DIS Veteran

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    I have also been blessed to have known all of my grandparents. Granddad died while I was in college (1998) and Papa more recently in 2006. Both grandmothers are still alive. Nana just turned 92 and Granny will be 84 next.

    I know that they will not live forever and one day, probably sooner than later, we will have to say goodbye to them. But, I try not to dwell on that fact. Instead I try to enjoy has much time with them as possible and to still learn from them as possible.

    They have all taught me great lessons but the greatest is that you need to enjoy life to the fullest always.

    Granddad was a prisoner of war during WWII. He Endured more than any of us will ever know. His strength and devotion kept him alive. Our family knows we are all blessed to be here at all. I am inspired by Nana and her quiet gentle soul that was able to endure so much. I aspire to be half the woman that she is.

    Papa died when he was 82. We had a family lunch to celebrate my husbands birthday. he and granny were leaving and he gave me a hug and told me that I needed to come over one night and play cards. I told him it was a date. Those were the last words we exchanged. A few hours later, he was backing out of his driveway and had a heart attack. (thankfully no one was hurt in the accident). It was rough to get that news but I truly hope when it's my time to go that it's like that. To the very end he was living his life.

    After papa died, granny had a rough time and she mourned for several years. Then she realized that she wasn't the one who died and she still had life to live (these were her words to me). At 81 years old she bought a convertible, goes out on dates and completely enjoys her life. I often joke with my coworkers that she has a better social life than I do!

    I had to bury my 29 year old sister in 2008. That was excruciating. It makes you realize though that there are no guarantees in life. It can be over in a split second. So I try to learn from my grandparents and live life and cherish every moment I have with family.

    Sorry for writing a book. I just love my grandparents so much and sharing stories makes me feel closer to them.
     
  7. EllaM

    EllaM Mouseketeer

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    There are no guarantees in life. My paternal grandmother died when she was 56, just months after my parents married. I only know her through pictures and stories. I always wished I had known her and learned from her. My paternal grandfather moved away before I was born and died when I was in pre-school. My only memory of him was his funeral. That changed the way I think of funerals forever (no open caskets for me!). My maternal grandfather died when I was 11. I remember him as a child but never felt I knew him well enough. My maternal grandmother lived until she was 86 and I was in my 20's. She was a terrific Nana who taught me how to enjoy life.

    My mom died at 67 when her grandchildren were still small. The oldest was only 7. She wanted to be a grandma for so long because her grandmothers had died long before her parents married. It grieves me to know her grandkids didn't have that much time with her. She died making me promise to "spoil the grandkids" for her.

    My dad is 81 this year. I have grown so close to my dad since my mom's death I can't imagine the day he leaves me. I know I'll be a basket case, but I also know that day will eventually come. So I enjoy every single moment I have with him and try to make them as fun as possible.

    I couldn't imagine living life without my mom either. It was hard and I still miss her, but life does go on. Best you can do is cherish the day and hope for the future. Consign your worry to God when it keeps you from enjoying your moment. He's better equipped to deal with it.
     
  8. ilovepcot

    ilovepcot <font color=purple>Caused the first ever Tag Fairy

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    OP...I see you live in Seven Lakes. I had visitors from there yesterday. :goodvibes On to your question. My grandparents have all passed away but not only did I have them well into adulthood, I knew all my great grandparents as well. I was married and had a daughter that got to know one of her great great grandparents. Was nice to get a pic of 5 generations and all of us female.
     
  9. SandrA9810

    SandrA9810 DIS Veteran

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    I knew all 4. I lived with my mom's side growing up. I didn't meet my dad's side till I was about 14, and even then didn't care much to get to know that side of the family.

    Pa died in '98 from heart issues at the age of 74.
    Ma's still kickin at 86 years old but the dementia only gets a little worse every time I come back. 3 kids, 6 grandkids, and 13 great grandchildren.

    My dad's dad died just about 2 years ago from cancer. It was just a few months after my aunt, his daughter died if a different cancer. Not sure how old he was.
    My dad's mom is still alive and as far as I know still has a sound mind.
     
  10. chiefmickeymouse

    chiefmickeymouse Sarcastic, silly and socially awkward

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    I knew all of my grandparents except for one grandfather who died when I was 2. I had a step-grandfather who was wonderful, too. I was in my twenties and thirties when all but one grandmother passed away. We lost her last summer, at 84. She had been suffering from alzheimers and that was very difficult to watch. I consider myself very blessed to have known them for as long as I did.
     
  11. mom2travel

    mom2travel DIS Veteran

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    I sadly don't have any grandparents left on earth, but was blessed to have known all 4. I even knew 2 great-grandmothers growing up - one passed when I was 3 or 4, the other when I was 8 or 9.

    One grandfather passed away a few days after my HS graduation. My DH lost a grandmother when he was about 10.

    Our 6 remaining grandparents were all still with us when DS was born. DH's grandfather died when DS was a baby, and one of my grandmothers when he was a year old. The other four were all known and loved by my children. We lost them four years in a row, 2009-2012 :(

    Both of our parents are alive and kicking, and hopefully still around when DS and DD have kids of their own one day. A friend of mine lost her mother to cancer last night. Her dad had passed away a little over a year ago. She's my age, and her parents were my parents' age. Just another reminder to enjoy every day with those we love. As I see our parents slowing down and many their age becoming ill or passing away, I feel happy (and lucky) that I was able to spend a few days enjoying the Christmas season at WDW with them a month ago, something they had always wanted to do.
     
  12. TwoCortWort

    TwoCortWort A Buckeye Disney Princess

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    My grandpa (dads dad) was 78 when he died and my dad is 63...he has many years to go, but his dad was a brittle diabetic, he should've died when I was 8 but hung on.
     
  13. TwoCortWort

    TwoCortWort A Buckeye Disney Princess

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    It's a very small world if you met some one from my town ;)
     
  14. PigletsPal2

    PigletsPal2 Queen of the Realm

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    Both my grandfathers died in their sixties, when I was very young, and I hardly knew them. Both my grandmothers lived to be great-grandmothers, into their late eighties.

    As for my children's grandparents, they only have their paternal grandmother left and she's 83. Paternal grandfather died when DD#1 was two months old; MIL re-married several years later and paternal step-grandfather died when DDs were 30 and 24 years old.

    My parents died when they were each 56 years old, Mom two years after my dad. When I reached 56 years old, my doctor asked me if I was nervous! I wasn't, but the sister four years younger than I spent her entire 56th year a nervous wreck.

    I wish my parents had had more time to know my DDs. DD#1 is SO like my mother - passionate about things, spontaneous, creative, quick to laugh and DD#2 is like my father - even-tempered, soft-spoken, highly intelligent and loved learning.

    OK, now I'm really missing my parents, and they've been gone for 34 years!

    Queen Colleen
     
  15. design_mom

    design_mom <font color=royalblue>I am probably more like my d

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    I only knew one of my grandparents. She died when I was 12. The rest had passed by the time I was born. (We are not a long-lived group.)

    My husband, on the other hand, was fortunate enough to have 3 grandparents who lived into their 90s (one is still alive). He definitely knows how lucky he is.

    His paternal grandfather passed about 5 years ago. As long as I'd known him he'd always said "It was nice to see you, since this will probably be the last time we see each other (our last Christmas together, etc.)..." According to my mother-in-law, he'd been predicting his own impending death since *she* met him some 40 years prior. I think some people's personalities are just like that.

    As an aside about my DH's grandpa, whom I loved dearly... he wore a brand new suit to our wedding. When I complimented him on it, he replied "Oh, yes. Well, you'll see it again. I won't see you, but you'll see me." He planned to be buried in that suit. He actually passed 11 years later.
     
  16. Glennie5

    Glennie5 DIS Veteran

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    I was very lucky to have known all 4 of my grandparent but sadly 3 have passed away. My Dad's Mom will be 95 this March and is an amazing woman! My husband tries to get me to talk about what will happen when she dies but I really just do not want to think about it.
     
  17. PrincessKsMom

    PrincessKsMom <img src=http://photopost.wdwinfo.com/data/500/tlk

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    My daughter was very fortunate to have had great grandparents (5 up until the first died when she was almost 5).

    Right now my maternal grandmother passed in 2000 (at 78)
    Never knew maternal grandfather

    Paternal grandfather passed when I was about 18
    Paternal grandmother is still alive and in her late 80s

    My paternal grandmother's parents (my greats) passed when I was about 10 or 11
    My paternal grandfather's pareents (again my greats) passed when I was about 4 and 6

    Never knew maternal grandmother's parents who both died when my mother was young
    -----------------------------

    My daughter still has 2 great-grandmothers and 1 great-grandfather and she's 17.
     
  18. kt_mom

    kt_mom DIS Veteran

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    I knew 3 of my 4 grandparents. I also knew and remember a great grandmother and great great aunt on my dad's side.

    My dad's father died from a heart attack when he was 45 and my dad was 11 so I never knew him. My dad's mom died when I was pregnant with DD just a few months after my niece was born. She was in her 80's.

    My mom's dad died when I was in 11th grade and my grandmother died when I was in college. He was an alcoholic who refused to quit drinking. He wasn't a mean one though and I have so many wonderful memories of him. I was very close to my grandfather.

    My husband still has one grandmother alive who is pretty healthy actually. His grandfather that he knew and was close to just passed a couple years ago. He never knew the grandfather on his dad's side as he also passed from a heart attack when FIL was younger. I'm not sure about Fil's mother.

    I was actually thinking about my grandfather the other day and how I was only 17 when he died. My daughter is almost 10. I can't imagine losing my dad in just a few years. It actually brought me to tears just thinking about it how soon that is. He has already outlived his dad by almost 20 years but his mother lived to her 80's.

    My Fil was recently diagnosed with a heart condition that they say is not treatable and gave him a life expectancy of 5-10 years. He has also outlived his father by quite a bit but he eats good and excercises regularly. Dh won't really talk about it except to say that he knows he himself will die young. I hate when he talks like that.
     
  19. PrincessKsMom

    PrincessKsMom <img src=http://photopost.wdwinfo.com/data/500/tlk

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    All my rambling about my family and I forgot the point of my post. :lmao: OP, you have to realize that your dad is not only facing the mortality of family members but also his own. My mother had a very hard time with being an "orphan" even though she was in her mid 50s when it happened. When she thought about it she realized she was now the oldest of her generation and it made her face her own mortality. Sometimes it's a punch in the gut to realize our own clock is ticking down. Some people like to discuss it; other avoid the subject at all costs. Everyone knows you won't live forever, but I think we all believe there's always another tomorrow and sometimes there isn't. :sad2:
     
  20. tarzansmom

    tarzansmom I would rather be at Walt Disney World!

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    :-) and I am lucky to have my in laws. Dh lost his paternal grandfather a few years ago and his grandmother last year and his maternal grandparents passed in his late teens early twenties but he has a mom and stepdad plus dad and stepmom who surprisingly all get along and both mother in laws are great. He also has 4 brothers, none are married yet but someday I hope to have a sister in law or 4 out of it and atleast one better give me a niece lol. We need more girls here.

    To the OP, enjoy the time you have left. No one knows what the future may bring. My dad started preparing me for his death when I was a senior in hs. He was 66 when I graduated and had issues with diabetes. I used to get so upset over it but looking back it was his way of preparing me. He was terrified to leave me barely grown. My mom fought cancer for 15 years and tried to prepare me too, just was more subtle. Hang in there.
     

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