Foods you wish you could ban

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by ebtbmom, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. Minnesota!

    Minnesota! Shoeless in Minnesota

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    Hmmm. Probably canned hash...DH loves it and I "allow it" 1 - 2x a year (I make my own hash for them that is infinitely better...but sometimes he just wants the canned crap), Ramen noodles (again, DH LOVES!!), and Spam...which all 3 of my males love. IIIIIIIIICK.
     
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  3. ckay87

    ckay87 demented and sad...but social

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    My family, other than me, insist on drinking lemonade, tea, punch, etc. I'd like to ban all drinks other than water and coffee (and wine, but that's mine .... all mine).

    I wish I could say my reason is because the sugar is bad for you bla bla bla. But really, I hate lugging those jugs home from the grocery store and in from the car! :rotfl2: They're heavy!!
     
  4. mombrontrent

    mombrontrent DIS Veteran

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    Sometimes my Dh will buy the fozen cans of lemonade but it's rare. It's much easier to carry home and store those little cans. Mostly we only have water and coffee for the adults here. Once in awhile I'll but orange or cranberry juices for smoothies and my DS always puts those big jugs of V8 in the cart whenever he comes to the store with me. I hate that stuff but he LOVES it (it does make a good base for vegetable soup though). I buy cases of almond milk at Costco so I am stuck lugging that in though.
     
  5. cameyer85

    cameyer85 Mouseketeer

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    Tomatos...I gag just looking at em...the strange thing is I actually like tomato soup, tomato juice, sauce on pizza or pasta but a tomato in a salad or even if a tomato seed is on my plate I cant eat my meal. Even when eating out I always have to stress to the waitress/waiter that there are to be no tomatos anywhere near my food on my plate or the meal is going back...*gag* just thinking about tomatos. :faint:
     
  6. donaldlovesdaisy

    donaldlovesdaisy DIS Veteran

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    Thai Food!! My husband loves it and for whatever reason it grosses me out beyond belief and I can’t even tell you why but something about the smell I can’t get over.
     
  7. WDWDancer

    WDWDancer Recruiting Mouse

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    So you have no fruit or fruit products in your house? No apples for the horses, pie's for your husband, or orange juice......
     
  8. SpecialK

    SpecialK DIS Veteran

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    LOL!

    Can't think of anything I would ban, though I've never bought pork rinds and never would. I'm sure there are more things I've never brought home, so it's kind of banning by omission.
     
  9. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

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    All righty then...(it's a doozy)

    Four years ago I went to Shanghai with the US Special Olympic Team when I was a coach for the World Summer Games. We were in China for almost 3 weeks, but the first week we were there we spent in sort of a cultural exchange type thing. They sent us to explore the area and meet the people. We got to visit schools, and cultural centers and even visit with families in their homes. They actually did this for all 8000 athletes who were attending from countries all over the world. Since Team USA was so large, they split us up for the home visits. We wound up with one coach and 3-4 athletes in a group and we went to the home of a nice family in a town called Gao Dong to spend an afternoon and eat lunch.

    When we got to the home (which was LOVELY) I was shocked to discover that not only were we visiting with the Husband, Wife and college age daughter, but also it seems their neighbors and relatives got wind of our arrival and they all crowed into the house to meet us...along with a dozen newspaper reporters and camera men. There was barely room to move in the house and NOBODY spoke a word of English except the daughter. Once my three athletes (all of whom had Aspergers) saw the crowd, they immediately clammed up tight. Poor things were so shy and overwhelmed...which left JUST ME to carry on a FOUR HOUR long, one-sided, conversation with the house full of people. It was kind of a nightmare...

    The Chinese are HUGE on hospitality. HUGE. In preparation for our visit, the mother had laid out on the table a bowl of fruit (oranges and bananas) and bottles of Coke and water. Both were apparently a big deal as fresh fruit is something of a treat for them and Coke an even rarer treat. The coaches had a rule about drinking soda (a no no) but seeing as how freaked out my athletes were, I let them have the Coke. So my athletes are sitting in the living room happily sipping cokes and eating oranges and bananas while I try desperately to drum up some kind of conversation while two dozen strangers stare silently smiling at me. I felt like a bug in a jar.

    Luckily, the families grandma was kind enough to give me a demo of her knitting skills, but while i was enjoying that I noticed the MOM giving me a the 1000 yard stare. I can't figure out why she is eye balling me, so I just kind of give her a sweet smile...a mistake. She smiles back and points to the bowl of fruit.

    Uh oh.

    Apparently the mom was concerned that I hadn't partaken of her offerings. VERY concerned. I tried to do the polite international "none for me thanks" sign, but MOM wasn't having any of it. She nudged the bowl at me.

    Crud.

    Not wanting to cause an international incident, I do a quick "worst case scenario" run down in my head. If I was on a desert island DYING, which piece of fruit could I even remotely stand a chance of choking down without killing myself?

    :banana:

    Sure. Why not? So I figure I'll take a banana and just HOLD it. Then I will distract the family with more questions and a song and dance routine (don't laugh...I had one planned) and by then, surely it will be lunch time and I will have had to do nothing more than just HOLD the banana.

    I look at MOM, who is now bowl in hand and practically shoving it at me. So I smile sweetly and select A banana. MOM beams proudly back at me. A little bit of my soul starts to die inside.

    Now I'm holding this banana, my athletes are happily oblivious to my life and death struggle inside and sipping Coke and eating oranges and now I begin grilling the family on the ins and outs of life in China. Thank God the daughter was able to translate English. After I forced them to give me a tour of the house, a botched attempt by grandma to teach me how to knit and my insistence on looking through about 20 photo albums of their family vacations...MOM is still staring expectantly at the uneaten banana in my hands. The banana weighs about 1000lbs now. So I force the athletes to get up and sing "You Are My Sunshine" with me...which amounted to them shyly shuffling their feet and mumbling while I butchered the song acapella as slowly as I could manage...

    But MOM is now boring a hole through my skull as she stares at me and my banana. I horrific realizations fills me. I am not getting out of this. I'm going to have to EAT THE BANANA. Mom is no pushing my hand with the banana towards my face and making "nom nom nom" motions.

    Kill me.

    I then realize that I've never actually PEELED a banana either, and I'm not quite sure how to do it. Do I need a cigar cutter to nip the end? Do I just shuck it like corn? My brain rifles through unused files from my childhood and finally finds an old faded black and white grainy film of my mom peeling a banana to put on her cereal. Okay...I can do this. I HAVE to do this. I can't dishonor our gracious hosts.

    I manage to get one of the athletes to tell a story about her new puppy...that gives me enough of a distraction from the 2 dozen silently judging eyes watching us. All except mom, who is no giddy with happiness and watching my every move as I slowly and awkwardly begin to peel the banana.

    My hands are shaking. Cold sweat appears on my brow. I feel faint.

    I figure I can take the teeniest bite and swallow it whole and that should hole MOM off until lunch (which is only 20 minutes away). I peel the banana back and expose just the end. My heart is pounding like a cornered rabbit.

    YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS.

    I grab one of the water bottles figuring I can wash it down quickly like a pill if need be. MOM is practically vibrating now, and aboput 6 inches away from my face. I smile weakly at her...

    And I take a bite.

    :scared:

    As soon as it touches my tongue my entire body goes into survival mode. My throat closes up, my stomach lurches. My brain is SCREAMING "PANIC!!!!". Dear God this tastes awful. Beyond awful. MOM is smiling and nodding at me like "mmmmmmm, good isn;t it?" I'm dying. This is where I will die...in some small town in Shanghai. will they send my body home or bury me here? I have to do something. Can't spit it out, even though my body is trying to. So I take a swig of water and figure just swallow the teeny bite whole like an aspirin.

    NOPE. My body is in full on freak out. Throat closed up too tight for that little chunk to go down. I'm going to suffocate. Think dang it!

    Okay...looks like I'm going to have to CHEW my way out of this one. So I start to chew the piece...which instantly turns the water in my mouth into the nastiest most rancid banana flavored MUSH ever. Vomit actually rises up in the back of my throat. Tears are starting to stream down my face...and MOM is clapping and smiling at me. I can't spew all over her nice living room, but I am going to blow. What can I do??

    Nasty mush is now in every crevice of my mouth. I'm choking to death but luckily nobody seems to notice. With strength that could only have been granted by God himself, I somehow manage to gag down the mush water and then I chug the entire bottle of water. MOM is beaming. I rub my tummy like "Boy am I FULL" and mom nods with approval and goes to the kitchen to get lunch ready. You see in China, it is VERY polite to not finish all of your food. It means your host has taken good care of you. If you eat all of your food it means you must still be hungry. Thank God.

    I politely excuse myself to bathroom where I find the image of death staring back at me from the bathroom mirror. I'm GRAY, drenched in sweat and my eyes are completely bloodshot. I resist retching in the toilet as that would only bring that horrible mush back up into my mouth. To add insult to injury...I realize the stress of it has caused my period to start RIGHT THEN.

    Lunch, however, was delightful.
     
  10. Arielle22

    Arielle22 <font color=red>We have had spirits<br><font color

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    I can't stand peanut butter. DH and DDs eat it so it is in the house. When DDs were younger I would make PB&J for their lunch. If any PB got on my hand I would spend 5 minutes washing and rewashing with soap and hot water.

    I would smell my hand and if any smell remain, back under the water and soap it went.
     
  11. ebtbmom

    ebtbmom DIS Veteran

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    Cheez Itz?? Say it ain't so! Cheez Itz are little orangey squares of miraculous wonder. I like to eat them on the beach especially. And don't get me started on the Tobasco ones :love:
     
  12. ENSOCK

    ENSOCK DIS Veteran

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    I have informed my family that starting December 26th, anything my Little Debbie is banned from the house. Sorry but the little witch has to leave!!! :lmao:
    Other than that, nothing is banned from my house. I am lucky that my family will eat anything and everything!:cool1:
     
  13. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

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    As I've explained...NOPE. And to the bolded:

    No, but they get a lot of carrots and other treats
    :rotfl2: What is this, 1955?
    and I do drink a glass of OJ each morning (no pulp).
     
  14. jbmom

    jbmom <font color=darkorchid>Our underwear just gets put

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    Corn nuts. My dh and sons love them, especially for a road trip. That means I'm sitting with the window down until they are gone.
     
  15. KAMLEM

    KAMLEM DIS Veteran<br><font color=blue>Likes her little p

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    Oh my goodness Jennasis, that is a funny story! The only thing that would make me feel that way is fish, any kind of fish. I won't cook it at home, I can smell it for weeks afterwards. Once every couple of years I'll cook it on the grill because my family loves it, but it's pure torture for me.
     
  16. furb & dez

    furb & dez City Bear Jamboreers

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    So... you married a four year old? ;)

    Personally, I would ban all seafood — everything from the sea. "If it's from the sea, it's not for me!"

    Cabbage, except in sauerkraut.

    Mochi crunch, because it smells like ***.

    Yeah, people who think that red stuff is "licorice" are sadly mistaken... it's just extruded fruit-flavored gunk.
     
  17. ebtbmom

    ebtbmom DIS Veteran

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    That's my son, not husband! Admittedly DH isn't much better, but he will eat cheese, bacon, and ranch with about 4 leaves of lettuce and call it salad!:rotfl2:
     
  18. PigletsPal2

    PigletsPal2 Queen of the Realm

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    Liver, tripe, brains, any internal organ passing itself off as food. And kimchi. And durian (dhurian?).

    Queen Colleen
     
  19. Mokat76

    Mokat76 DisKat

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    Anything transplantable, as in liver or any other organs. My gag reflex knows what it is no matter how you try to disguise it. :scared1:
     
  20. furb & dez

    furb & dez City Bear Jamboreers

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    OMG, durian is so delicious.

    Smells like cat pee, though. :sad1:
     
  21. Minnesota!

    Minnesota! Shoeless in Minnesota

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    I adore kimchi!!

    Jennasis - hilarious story! Thanks for sharing!!

    And pp - I love corn nuts and fritos, but I cannot tolerate anyone eating them around me - the smell of them on someone else's breath is revolting!
     

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