For those of you that have read Episode 1, I'm sorry to say that things don't get much better in this report. Rest easy, however, this story will eventually have a happy ending. In lieu of using our real names, the 18 month old will continue to be known as the Octopus (or at times, "the babe"), my wife will be known as Lucy or Mom, the 8 year old is Map Boy or Huckle and the five year old will be named in another episode. Episode 2: Attack of the birds Finding our way to the Grand Floridian was quite easy and although we were all weary from our travels, the excitement of Disney began to take hold. Take hold of me and the boys that is, a pregnant mom is always much tougher to impress. Entering the guarded parking lot of the Grand Floridian and getting our personalized parking pass from the attendant was a good feeling. We had successfully made it safely to the hotel without any injuries to either us or those unfortunate enough to have crossed our path. This was a major accomplishment. The tuxedoed pianist, fresh flowers and incredibly detailed five-story lobby are immediate evidence that this hotel lives up to its name. This is truly a grand hotel. With an increasingly tired crew, I quickly check in receiving a nice packet of information on both the hotel and the theme parks. A brief embrace from captain hook adds a nice touch to the check-in process. Along with the packet comes two deceivingly dangerous items. Nestled in their cute little envelope, sits the two harmless looking room keys. Not the old metal keys that would have certainly fit in with the dÃÂ©cor of this stately hotel. No, these are the plastic keys found in today's most modern hotels. "Your key to the world" boldly emblazoned on my personalized card. As you may have guessed, its ability to open my room door is not what makes this a dangerous item. Its dual role as a charge card that allows for the painless charging of any item within the World is what makes this a hazardous item. Food, tickets, drinks by the pool, any of the billions of items that are made available to you can quickly be added to your hotel bill with a simple swipe of this innocuous little card. Gathering the crew, we head off to our room. Bocca Chica 8342. A few days before arriving, I dutifully faxed my room request for a Magic Kingdom view. This would be an upgrade from the garden view room that I had reserved. The room turned out to have a "partial" view of the MK, unfortunately the castle was fully obscured by the spire of Narcoose's restaurant. Overall we are happy with the room, but did have three immediate complaints. Although the room was newly renovated, it smelled bad. We originally thought it was smoke, but later determined that it may have just been the newness of the room. Second, the new carpet, wallpaper and bedspread were all very busy floral patterns. Spending large amounts of time it the room was equivalent spending an equal amount of time on the tea cup ride. Third, our luggage never appeared. After checking out the room, the big boys and I offered to go explore the food offerings at the Gasperilla grill. We returned to the room with a pizza, two ice creams and some drinks for a little over $30. A few hours into the trip and that pesky little man in the back of my brain that keeps a rough running total of expenses is already screaming at me. At this point IÃ¢ÂÂm thinking that I have underestimated my food budget. With still no sign of our luggage, I call down to the lobby and soon our bags arrive. The Bellhop, dressed in an odd pair of knickers somehow makes me uncomfortable. After a good nights sleep, I quickly realize that getting a family of three young boys to the parks early will not be an option. While waiting for the crew to arise, I sit out on the balcony and marvel at the clear blue skies. Looking down, I see at least three workers picking up the slightest bits of litter and several housekeepers walking along the walkways with parasols open. OK, I think, the magic is taking hold. The fresh morning breeze all but washes away any memories of the day before. Even the little man with the calculator is quiet, for now. After a quick breakfast at the Gasperilla grill ($25 for three cereals, a muffin and two juices) we head off for the Magic Kingdom. The boys love the monorail and the ride lasts only a few minutes from the second floor stop of our hotel. With four annual pass vouchers, we first stop at the ticket window to get our new passes. Finger scans are required for the adults to get in the park. Disney has come a long way since the days of the ticket books. Once inside, the spectacle of Main Street immediately sweeps you off your feet. I find it difficult to take in the sights while keeping an eye on each of my boys as they take in the castle for the first time. Although I have been to MK several times, I am always amazed at how I can still remember the feelings I had the first time I entered the front gates. I watch my boys suck in the atmosphere that someday they too will remember when taking their children into the park for the first time. My oldest boy has assumed the role of "Map Boy" and is our navigator through all of the parks. We immediately head over to the new Pooh ride. Expecting to try out the Fast Pass system, we are pleasantly surprised by the 10-minute wait for this very popular ride. This is the longest we would wait for any ride during our trip (except for the test track where we used Fast Pass, but they were experiencing technical difficulties). Experiencing his first ride ever, the octopus was a bit apprehensive, those heffalumps and woozles are pretty frightening to a 1 year old. After the Pooh ride we do the Tomorrow land Transit Authority ride. I've always liked this ride and we all have fun zipping past the Space Mountains section. From there, Map Boy and I break off and do Space Mountain (with a Fast PassÃ¢ÂÂ¦very nice). Map Boy gives Space Mountain his highest rating, "that was awesome". Well, with the slow start and equally slow pace, we are ready for lunch. Reader Alert! Those with weak stomachs may want to skip the next paragraph: I am always fascinated by unusual occurrences. Those freaks of nature that cause one to pause and reassess what is possible within the physical laws of nature. Enter the 18 month old, AKA the octopus, who is having a bit of a problem. Maybe itÃ¢ÂÂs the excitement of the trip, the scary rides or it could be a reaction to some of the food, but the little guy has a serious poop problem. After going through a few diapers in the morning, we hope that the remaining diaper will last us through the rest of the day. As we head for lunch, the boys are first to complain about what is now an all too familiar odor. "The babe stinks", they shout in unison. Well, Lucy has been changing the little guy all morning and I quickly take charge and head the stroller towards the men's room. At this point, Lucy, I'm sure, has not experienced any magic and I'm determined to change that (and the little guy) as quickly as possible. Here is where things become a little surreal. This is also my last warning for those with weak stomachs. Bail now or read on at your own risk. Still with me? Ok, buckle up and prepare for the e-ticket ride of parenthood. Grabbing the boy, our last diaper, some wipes and a changing pad, I head off to the men's room. It doesn't take long to realize that I am way over matched. Having already used up several diapers, I'm thinking what lies before me is impossible. The babe has somehow exploded. I'm sure all parents can remember a similar moment in their child rearing past. Double it. All over his back, down his legs and into his shoes. I grab the stuff and cower back outside to more experienced hands. Sitting there in one of those moments where there seems as if there is no solution, Lucy volunteers to head back to the hotel and take care of the matter. To me, this is not an option. I have spent way too much time and money preparing for this trip and am fully determined to find this girl some magic. We (OK I) decide to toss the clothes ("but that's one of my favorite outfits"), Lucy takes the gear and the boy to the ladies room. Moments later she returns with a cleaned boy, a smelly shoe and a really gross changing pad. I take these items and furiously clean them in the hope that we can continue our day and have some fun. I've lost hope of experiencing any magic at this point. We head off for lunch. I spot the Lunching Pad, somehow I still have an appetite and am looking forward to a big turkey leg. We grab a table and Map Boy and I head over to a nearby hotdog vendor for two dogs for the boys. As I am walking back I notice a look of disbelief on Lucy's face. The babe has pooped again. This is a test. For those unfamiliar with my temperament, I can be a bit stubborn at times. I refuse to let this "problem" stop us from having a good time. I drop off the dogs, tell Kath and the boys to eat and I will go to the family center and take care of everything. I buy some wipes and diapers and begin changing the boy. There's not that much and I think that the well is beginning to run dry. Is it possible for more to come out than goes in? As I am finishing up, in walks Kath and the boys. For those that have seen the movie Parenthood, think of the scene where Steve Martin mentally rides the roller coaster as his child destroys the set of the play that he is in. Going back a few moments in time. After I left to change The Octopus, Lucy gets up to get the boys a drink. Just after ordering she turns to see them frantically dodging some bees (Note: we have not seen, nor do we see again any other insects during our stay at Disney). As they run around the table, two seagulls swoop down and steel their hotdogs, bun and all. Do you think the bees were working with the birds? Like Steve Martin, I have entered a new level of consciousness. Somehow, at this point, I know that the rest of our vacation will be magical.