And it's not that I feel the doctors haven't done their jobs. We've gone to a bunch of them and I've thought most of them are competent, I've done a lot of my own reading, and my brother-in-law is a microbiologist with a specialty in genetics. Long story short, the pediatrician caught something a little off at his two year old check-up, and we had 16 million kinds of blood work and other tests and visited a geneticist and a pediatric neurologist. The geneticist was a little suspicious of a chromosomal disorder called Sotos (which hasn't been ruled out and can't be tested for) but had no other ideas. The pediatric neurologist said he was not autistic (and it is my belief that the screening was properly conducted and that the results were consistent with that) but he was a little behind on language. Fast forward to pre-k. The school thought he was a little behind, especially with language and motor skills, and arranged for early intervention. Then we did Special-Ed kindergarten, where they felt he was up to grade-level, but would benefit from the small class, so we kept with the Special Ed. For first grade we switched districts, and the new district insisted he was about half a year behind academically (which I really think was a curriculum gap, but they weren't having any). We didn't love that teacher, but she got him up to speed, and they started to mainstream him. Second grade was okay, since he spent half the day in the regular classroom and half in the special Ed. Third was not, since the idea was that he would spend the whole day in a class with twenty five other children, and an hour or so in a small group getting the extra help he didn't actually need. Absolutely awful for all involved. We had been resistant to medication (and finally bit the bullet later that year) but some glue might have been helpful. After some gyrations he ended up in an emotional support class, and we went to another pediatric neurologist, who put him tentatively on the spectrum, and diagnosed ataxia and mild ADD, among other things. The teacher in the support class was absolutely wonderful, and he looked mainstreamable at that point (and still is academically), but he preferred the idea of a smaller classroom and other children with disabilities, rather than being thrown into the swim, and he has been in a special ed school for middle and high school, which he enjoys very much. He's a good looking kid, but his face is made a little bit differently from most peoples (he has an anti-mongoloid slant, and his soft palate and the way his tongue is attached is a little funny), and it was fairly noticeable between two and three, then became less so, and is now becoming more so in his teens. He largely caught up with other kids in the elementary years, and until about twelve or thirteen, didn't seem THAT different from other kids. Big, quirky, a little clumsy with minor, specific developmental delays and a mild speech impairment. He always had a phenomenal memory, but he didn't develop that flat "Rainman" affect until he was about ten or eleven, and tends only to do it when he's stressed out or reciting a complicated list from memory. He's intellectually able, and will graduate on time, but at this point he's running several years behind developmentally in a lot of areas and it's been obvious that his friends (many with more functional issues) are growing up and he isn't. He's not interested in girls (or boys either, near as I can tell), he plays with toys, and he's still very Mommy and Daddy focused. As a baby he liked faces, made eye contact, and played with toys in a normal way (he sometimes made 'trains' with blocks, etc, but he was also perfectly happy to build towers). He's not socially normal, but the developmental delays are often more obvious than the autistic tendencies. I tend to assume something must not have coded quite the way it's supposed to, but either it must be a very rare misfire, or people with it normally fly beneath the radar, or it's an atypical presentation of Sotos. We've seen more doctors in the last couple of years, mostly because we switched practices, and they tend to agree, but whatever it is did not show up on a chromosomal micro-array, and apparently his mitochondria are also normal. I really tend not to think that they dropped the ball, but that they don't have any better of an answer than I do. The real worry, of course, is that whatever is going on is degenerative, with was some of the reason for the recent diagnosis chasing, but they can now tell me that they're pretty sure it isn't. I have no issues with calling him HFA, Asperger's, mild ASD, etc. and I use all of them at various times, it gets him the services he needs, and while mild DD is more descriptive in a lot of ways, it implies cognitive issues that he does not have. My real frustration is that not only can no-one else tell me exactly what's going on (and I' m okay with that-the medical profession is not omniscient and I don't expect them to be), no-one else seems to have a kid like this!