Hi all... after reading this board and wiping away countless tears, my drama really doesn't seem that terrible. My heart aches for all of you who've lost love ones- especially children. Ohhhh....makes me tear just typing this. I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I have a 1.5 year old AMAZING little girl, and a horrible, HORRIBLE husband. He isn't abusive (physically) but is just a negative, glass half-empty type of person. He is constantly stressed and stressful to be around, never has anything nice to say, and makes traveling for me borderline unbearable- to the point now that I hope and pray he doesn't want to go on the trip. No one likes my husband, so therefore we never get invited to things- my BIL has a big cruise (not Disney, darn it!) planned for his 40th birthday and my sister and he don't want my husband to go. So we aren't, because I just can't deal with the drama. I checked out of this relationship a year ago (mentally), and I just really don't want to be with him. If he would just leave the apartment and disappear my life would be perfect!!! Alas....I am not financially stable and getting a divorce would mean a significant life change for myself. So, I am in this hole- I have been miserable for sooooo long. I thought I could stay strong for my daughter- the thought of custody issues and the back and forth and visitation- ugh. Breaks my heart. I know that many many people go through this, and have it WAY worse than I do. This is why I came to this thread, to get support from others who have made it through, and give me advice. I really don't want to be divorced, but I REALLY don't want to be with my husband. I feel tired, sad, resentful, and guilty. Thank you all for listening.