Bring her to Disney and turn her over to me, curmudgeons are my specialty!
On day 1, for every rude comment or 'misbehavin', I'll make her ride It's a Small World over and over again... and that's without a fast pass so she has to wait in line with the rest of us unwashed masses. Maybe if we get lucky, a teething baby will suffer a diaper blowout while riding in our boat. It doesn't get much better than that, but if she's a good curmudgeon, she won't be tamed so easily. Good ol' Ninja Mom relishes the challenge.
On day 2, for every grumpy old lady transgression, I'll make her ride Splash Mountain repeatedly and I'll ask the CM's to turn the fire hoses that they squirt people with on high.. That should loosen her hair weave and blow off a few of her extensions. But still, if she's worth her 4 star _itch rating she'll take it and continue to whine.
Now when we get to day 3 she'll be waiting for me. But she won't see me coming at 6am to drag her off to Extra Magic Hours and Space Mountain. If she wears dentures she better load up on the Poly Grip EXTRA STRENGTH because after we ride Space Mountain over and over again as punishment she might be missing an upper AND a lower plate. She'll be three inches shorter and in desperate need of a Chiropractor.
Usually the Space Mountain punishment is enough to turn any whiner into a blubbering puddle of cooperation. However, there have been a few instances of the rare breakthrough whinge. When she starts to tremor before her next eruption I simply sidle up to her and whisper in her ear "Rock and Roller Coaster" .
That's usually enough to get her to behave permanently. Heck! after all that you could even take her to Chef Mickey's and she would enjoy it, which is quite the accomplishment because no human over the age of 13 has ever enjoyed the enormous din and plethora of prepubescents roaming the buffet line unfettered by adult intervention.
The next time MIL wants to come to Disney and ruin everybody's trip you call Ninja Mom on the hot line and let her know. I'll be waiting in the lobby next to the cases of Boxed Wine that I brought for you and the husband. My arms and legs will be covered with every single magic band I have ever acquired, which will be pre-loaded with fast passes for every single Disney ride that can strike fear in the cold black heart of a malcontent.
~NM