Our nephew is planning a destination wedding at an all-inclusive in Mexico over New Year's. (prob around Dec 30th). I just want to get some perspective and ideas on how people feel about destination weddings and just how much sacrifice should be "expected" on the guests' part to be there. (and I'm also partly just venting!) He hasn't set a date or an exact resort yet. We asked him today and they are waiting for prices to drop. About 6 months ago his mom gave us the heads up about his plans for a destination wedding. I agreed to work that into my plans. We can afford to go (with sacrifices), no matter how much it costs. I've just decided to downsize our California (goodbye DLR!!) trip this summer to a roadtrip to save a bit more. For the wedding, I can comfortably (and extremely happily) afford about $3K , including flights for my family of 4 to go. I've been doing some preliminary price checking - and that's looking impossible. It's more likely to be about $5-$7K. (YIKES!!! I had absolutely NO idea when I first agreed to make plans to be there). Thinking abt it, I should have known - but I wasn't even thinking costs. My biggest problem is - I'm having a hard time justifying that much money for a trip! Yes, we'll have fun (and I've been wanting to try an AI) - but I could have 2 trips somewhere I like more (like WDW ) for the same money! We travel a LOT - by following the deals. (like free dining at a value ) I'm starting to feel slightly resentful that it's very possible I'll have to give up most of the trips I really want to do next year. Unless we get a super deal, we'll be blowing all next year's vacation budget on this trip. I know DH will say just take it out of our retirement savings - but it's going to drive me bonkers to deviate from our savings plans like that. Plus, I hate how irresponsible that makes me feel. BUT...both DH and I will be pretty upset to give up 3 weeks of trips next year to vacation for just 1 week. We adore our trips, so its a lot to give up. On top of that, we're not hugely close to this nephew. Plus, his father (DH's brother) likely won't be able to go and his sister (who he's close to) definitely can't go. My other SIL has the money but really doesn't want to spend it in Mexico. Another BIL won't be going because of $$. DH's mom and dad won't be going. Although I don't want what others do or don't do to dictate our actions, my DH is upset that so many family members won't be at this family wedding (from our side, we will likely be the only ones there). I feel like, "If he doesn't mind that his dad and his sister may not be there, why should he mind if we don't show up?!" I feel guilted into going because his mother will be furious with us. (Especially if we do WDW or a cruise or something soon after!). We don't know what we'll do yet. At first we were completely committed to going. We want to be there for our nephew but now the financial reality is settling in and I'm not liking the looks of it but feeling a lot of family pressure. It's unlikely they will "understand" and I can see grudges being held for a long time to come. Some perspective will be VERY welcome!