I think I have depression but not sure. I'm 26 years old and feel like I can't make decisions big or small. Nothing makes sense any more. When I fly i don't wear a seat belt. I'm a bit bigger and am embarrased to ask for an extender. So I don't wear one. Never have, my parents knew this and all of sudden i can't go any where because of it. i just feel like everyone is changing. my mom keeps telling me that people won't like me because i'm over weight. skinny people want to be friends with other skinny people. I just feel like she's wrong. she also tells me that airplanes are now charging more for bigger people. I'm not THAT big. I weigh 250 not 400. I just feel like my whole life has turned around. Nothing matters to me. I don't have a sense of time and I just feel numb. I just don't feel excited any more. Nothing to look forward to. It just feels like a bottomless pit for me. I'm 26 years old and feel like i have been lied to all my life. I have the hardest trouble making the simple decision. I just wonder why am I the one in this family with the bad luck. I feel like the odd ball out. I don't fit in with my family. I just feel left out of everything. i want to scream but can't. When i cry my parents don't care... No one seems to care or want to help. Nothing seems right to me and always feel like i'm doing something wrong 24/7. I want to sell my crafts but feel like "who will want to buy my crafts?" As I said I feel numb. I convinced myself nothing works nothing matters and my life is disappearing before me. My cat just died and i feel numb. I don't really care any more. We all die so what's the point? Nothing seems new, even places i never been to. I just feel numb. All the movies seem a like. Nothing new. I can't tell one person out of the crowd because everyone seems the same to me. Will 5-HTP help? It says it is for mild depression. i dunno i might have major depression. but i just want to be my old self. i just feel like there is danger around every corner like something is going to happen. it's like i don't know what is fun any more. I feel too old for everything.