Terry - Such a crazy year for you all this year. I'm glad that SS and pensions will help you all back to a more steady footing. I understand the difficulty. What a blessing on Hal's insurance options. We should finally be eligible through Target in April. I've got my finger's crossed that it will be doable. Theresa - What a year of changes you are looking towards. Best of luck to Abi. It sounds like a great opportunity for her. Tammi - Thanks for the quick trip report. We loved our sleigh ride last trip. The decorations were so fun and it made for a great quiet evening. If our Christmas trips keep being several years apart, I think it may be something we repeat another time or two along the way. We are about the same here. Wishing and hoping and planning (or trying to plan) for a better 2013. Phil really needs to find something more or different. I wish I could get him moving on it more, but I know he feels like his memory/processing issues will prevent him from doing most jobs. I keep trying to gently remind him that he won't know if he doesn't at least try for them. His pessimistic side also forgets to see all the ways he's learned/ing to live with those issues so while it may take him just a bit longer to remember all the steps, once he does he knows them perfectly and is really methodical about it all. All of his past managers have had nothing but praise for him. The girls are doing well. This past week or so, Terra has had two run-ins with things that are or are similar to a known trigger for her major anxiety issues earlier this year. The first one was the same characters as the March situation and the second a similar idea. On the first issue she was very mature about it and told me that she still didn't like it, but that it didn't make her all shaky like last time. Then on Christmas Eve there was a comic in her new Calvin and Hobbes book that had her almost ready to give up all C&H stuff. Seeing as how her tiger Hobbes is one of her comforters in the bad times I was really worried at first. By bedtime that night she had decided that Calvin is just really creative and he's a boy so sometimes he'll come up with ideas she doesn't like. Thankfully I think she's working past that one pretty quickly. I'm very proud of her for recognizing the triggers for what they were right away and really trying to work through them and not let them take her out. I really think the milk change is part of it (as I saw the opposite in Phil just this month when he got on a cereal and milk - with D - kick again. It's now been banned from his diet by me! ), but I know she's had to work hard for that too. I'd still like to get her in with a counselor or something in the long run because a friend who's been though that and worse with her daughters said that hormone changes as she nears teens may affect things too. Deva is a crazy whirlwind of energy. She loves her "pretty dancings" and luckily got 4 new dresses for Christmas because we only had 4 to begin with. She got the Little People Princess castle from Santa and spends half the day making the princesses sing so that she can dance. The drama in her dancing is hilarious sometimes. She's the silliest kid and oh so sweet. Still praying that my new kiddos will come around soon and help us get out into a place of our own. I've got one that should start the end of Jan. So far mama's still holding out, but I think her due date is Jan 5 or maybe it was 15th. She's Rachel's age so will go back to school as soon as she is physically up for it. My 2nd possibility is getting closer. His mom and dad moved to 15 on the adoption list yesterday and are really more like #5 on the boy list. They've asked for anywhere from birth to 3 years so we'll see the actual age when the time is right. My mental state has been taking a beating lately. I'm really torn about where I should really be and what I should really be doing. Some days it's a tough call whether the girls would be better off with Phil while I work or with me home and extra kids added to our mix. I think a lot of it is feeling tied down with my van out of commission. It brings a feeling of lack of freedom, but I'm trying to change my mindset on that and remember the things I can do with the girls at home instead. We'll file our tax return as soon as humanly possible and then use that to get the van back and running. May 2013 bless us all with brighter tomorrows. Much love and hugs to you all, my friends.