Daughters who have lost their Mother

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by Shelly F - Ohio, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Glad someone else out there has experience the same thing Suzanne.

    So what kind of cake will you be baking for your supervisor Suzanne?

    I'm going to the hospital on Friday to do some volunteer work. That should help my spirits.
     
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  3. jennz

    jennz DIS Veteran

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    :grouphug: to everyone...losing my mom was like having a piece of me ripped out. She died from ovarian cancer April 29, 2009. She taught me so much. I really miss her, and I'm sad that my daughter, who is 11, will not have her in her life. I live in Indiana and my parents are in Orlando. We were lucky, my mom was diagnosed as having 2 weeks to live so we had precious days with her. She was coherent and talking up until she got her morphine. It was SO HARD to go back down to stay with my dad, just being in "her" house. She worked at WDW, and so did I for a while...I haven't been able to want to go back. Sorry, just really bad day. My dr. put me on lexapro which really helped me - I think I need to refill it. Seriously.
     
  4. circhead

    circhead Mouseketeer

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    Shelley,

    Glad to hear your spirits seem to be lifting.

    Your hubby sounds like a great guy for telling you to not go back. He put you first.

    Enjoy your time volunteering at the hospital! :thumbsup2
     
  5. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Jennz :hug: why are you having a bad day today? Is it because of all this nasty snow we are getting and how glummy it is outside?
    Just thing Spring is around the corner.

     
  6. jennz

    jennz DIS Veteran

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    :hug: Thanks for the laugh! It is definitely glummy outside isn't it?! No it's not the snow, I really think it's because I still need my lexapro! The past 3 days have been bad, and I've been of it a few weeks b/c it's so darn expensive! I did fill it and pick it up this afternoon. It's SO HARD losing my mom, so much changes...you know, your mom is your harshest critic but also your biggest cheerleader - who's known you better or longer? It was a year ago I started going back and forth between Indy and Orlando, my mom had a knee replacement surgery and my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer - he is fine now but actually had surgery today to have a stint put in - I guess it's timing, remembering...I don't know, rambling on and on.

    Did you quit your job??
     
  7. Amy&Dan

    Amy&Dan DIS Veteran

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    I just found this thread and it makes me so sad to see so many of us dealing with the loss our mothers.:grouphug: Yet also comforting to see I am not alone (I only have one friend in real life who has lost a mom).

    I lost my mom in January of 2008, as hard as I thought it would be, its been so much harder. She and I had a very close bond dating back to when I was seven and my dad died.

    The first year was for sure the hardest thing I have dealt with to date. But even as time has passed, its amazing at how raw it can still feel. Its funny, she was very close to her mom and I remember when my grandmother died thinking that someday that would be me, missing and grieving for my mom. Now that day is here and nothing can really prepare you for it.
     
  8. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Glad to hear you got your meds refilled. Do you have the option to mail order your meds? This can save you some money..

    Yes Mom's can be an enemy by being very critical but more so they are our rock. Mom's guide us, mentor us, and know how to make it all better. So it makes it hard to deal with a lot of lifes issues when Mom is gone.

    Long story short I quit my job that I had been at for nearly 2 years to take a job that was closer to home. I was commuting 60 miles rt and wanted something closer to home. My hours were cut to 2 days a week and sometimes there was not work for me so they would send me home at 11 a.m.

    I found a clerical job at a health care facility but after day one I know this was not a job I would work at for very long. I am not use to standing all day-have had knee issues and 2 surgeries - so standing all day is not possible. You know from taking Lexapro that it makes you very thirsty and I drive a lot of water through out the day. And they had a rule no drinks at your desk. Plus there are no breaks other than lunch! So without further a do I quit. I did not want to have to list a short term job on any future applications so I felt it was best to quit. This way I would be free to job search and interview.

    Now I am dealing with being unemployed and being sad because I don't feel that I worthy person. I just don't want to deal with this and would rather be dead. I really thought the night before last I would not wake up in the morning. I really want to end it all. Life is so cruel.

     
  9. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Amy - I don't think that we could have ever been prepared to deal with losing a Mom. Mom's are our rock. She always had an answer for our issues, she knew just what to do. I think everyday what would my mom be like today. I certainly would not feel this bad.

     
  10. jennz

    jennz DIS Veteran

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    Oh Shelly :hug: It makes me sad to hear that you are so sad. Does your husband help? Is there someone you have been talking to? After my mom passed away I was a hermit for a few months, it was very hard and still is. Honestly I'm not sure if I wouldn't still be in bed every day if I didn't have my 11 year old dd that I HAVE to get going for. It was probably 6 months until I went out with a friend again, and I didn't want to do that either, I made myself. Manged to get myself kicked out of my bunco group by not going! :rotfl:

    I did NOT know that about lexapro and have been so thirsty today!!!!! Wow, thanks!! Now I know why.
     
  11. PrincessSuzanne

    PrincessSuzanne <font color=red>Guess I will be eating crow tonigh

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    If I can find my mom's cookbook, I am going to bake a carrot cake, with a buttermilk glaze icing, oh so yummy and better for you instead of the cream cheese icing.

    Suzanne
     
  12. circhead

    circhead Mouseketeer

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    Suzanne - would it be possible for me to get that icing recipie? I love carrot cake and make it all the time - but we almost never ice it anymore because it's great without it and I think that the cream cheese icing is so heavy.


    I don't know if your recipie includes this but I put a can of crushed pineapple in the batter and it adds such a nice taste and texture to it.

    Thanks. :flower3:
     
  13. PrincessSuzanne

    PrincessSuzanne <font color=red>Guess I will be eating crow tonigh

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    As soon as I find the cookbook, I will be happy to share it. I don't think it is really a traditional carrot cake, cause it tastes different, but much better. I don't care much for pineapple, so I couldn't add that. This cake is made in either a bundt pan or loaf pans, because you have to poke holes in it, so the glaze can soak in.

    I have to quickly find that cook book.

    I think this is it:

    Black Walnut Carrot Cake with Buttermilk Glaze

    *
    Preheat oven to 350 F.
    Grease a 10-inch tube pan.

    Mix tegether:
    3 C grated carrots
    4 eggs
    1 1/2 C oil
    2 C sugar
    2 C sifted flour
    1 C chopped black walnuts
    1 tsp vanilla
    1/4 tsp black walnut extract
    1 tsp cinnamon.

    Bake 90 minutes.

    Remove from oven and, while cake is still hot, glaze with:

    Buttermilk Glaze

    Blend well:
    1/2 C buttermilk
    1 C sifted powdered sugar
    1/2 tsp baking soda
    1 Tbl white corn syrup.

    Pour on top of hot cake. Let stand for 1 hour. Remove
    cake from pan and serve.



    Suzanne
     
  14. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    My hubby does help but when he is at work is when I get really really sad. The only person I have to talk to are my 3 kitties. They keep me company.

    Most anti depressants can make you thirsty. Try sucking on sugar free candy to help. I find I need to use more chapstick too.

    YA The Boss is sending my Hubby home early because of the weather.


     
  15. circhead

    circhead Mouseketeer

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    Thank you so much for the recipie. It sounds delicious. If I can find the time I'm gonna make it this weekend. :thumbsup2
     
  16. PrincessSuzanne

    PrincessSuzanne <font color=red>Guess I will be eating crow tonigh

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    You're welcome. I did find my original cookbook and this is the same recipe and I am also hoping ot make it this weekend. I tore the darn house up looking for it all weekend and found it Monday evening, it has fallen down between the cabinets and the fridge, go figure.

    Suzanne
     
  17. lookingforward

    lookingforward DIS Veteran

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    :grouphug: to you all!
    I lost my beautiful, kind, loving mother on June 16, 2008 from a stroke. She was gone in a week just after I had finished chemo for breast cancer. She saw me through my treatment and was my best friend.
    I miss her every day, still cry every day, and hope and pray that I will see her again when I die.
    Recently Sandra Bullock made a speech at the Oscars in Helga B's memory(her mom) and I just lost it because my mom's name was Helga G. There is nothing like a mother's love, no love is stronger!
    My mom was only 69 years old when she passed away. I miss her.....
     
  18. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    With Easter right around the corner that means Mother's day will be here before you know it.
    What plans do you have to celebrate your Mom this year?
    As for me I am not sure yet.
     
  19. kimis

    kimis DIS Veteran

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    Mothers Day is very hard for me but most people wouldn't know it if they saw me. My bestfriend-MOM has been gone for a little over three years. I usually let balloons go for her--don't ask me why I just do. I miss her so much and others have no idea. My dad passed away two months ago today also. Can you be an orphan at 53? :) My prayers are with all of us who have lost a parent/s.
     
  20. PrincessSuzanne

    PrincessSuzanne <font color=red>Guess I will be eating crow tonigh

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    :flower3: Easter will be hard for me as well, mom and I loved Easter. Mother's Day has been really hard for me since I can't have children, but it got alot harder after I lost mom and it might be tougher this year since DH has to work that weekend, he usually keeps me in check. I don't know what I will do, it is hard to go to the cemetary and I won't go by myself.

    I became as orphan at 35, and it wasn't because both parents are deceased, my father walked out on us when I was 9 months old. My grandparents are also gone and so is my favorite aunt. It is hard to be parentless, even if you are an adult :hug:

    Suzanne
     
  21. iluveeyore

    iluveeyore DIS Veteran

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    Thank you for starting this thread. I still miss my mom, my best friend even thought it's been a while. I lost her in January, 1996 when she was only 47 years old. My third child, my only daughter was only 6 months old and never got to meet the most wonderful woman on the planet. Mom had a hysterectomy in Nov./95, got an infection and ended up on life support for six weeks over Christmas, her favourite time of year. It took many years to get through Christmas without her. Now my sister and I have our Christmases with as much energy and celebrating as Mom used to do in her honour and to show my kids how much fun and wonderful their Grandma was.
    I miss her every day even though so much time has passed. I think it makes my daughter and I closer because we realize how precious our time together is - I wasn't a bad teenager, but I spent more time with my friends and boyfriend (now husband) than my mom when I lived at home, and wish now I'd given her more attention. If we only knew when we would lose a loved one, we'd make every minute count more, wouldn't we???
    Hugs to all of you who have lost your Mom and hopefully we all live our lives remembering them and making them proud :hug:
     

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