Dating stinks!

[disykat]

Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.

This seems so inappropriate that I'd be tempted to make a date, not show up, and text him a day or so later. I would have ignored him, but good grief he deserves to be messed with! He's either the dumbest guy on the planet or he's specifically looking for someone who is willing to be walked on. Kind of scary actually.

 

[westjones]

Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Oh don't make another date! He is the person he is going to be and at that age he is not going to mature or change.

 

[Hutchy]

Speaking from experience long ago*, I can tell you it's not just men.








*--Been married for awhile and wouldn't ever want to have to date again. Too much work. As Louis CK said, "I'd have to get all this (pointing to himself) showroom-ready. Right now, it's pure functionality."

I never expected to end up divorced and when I heard Louis CK's skit about divorce I almost died laughing it was SO true. LOL

And dating does suck. I've been lucky but it's still so hard to figure out how this whole "early relationship" thing works. Ugh!

 

[horseshowmom]

Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.

You are saving yourself a lot of hassle for sure! (BTW, wife was the first thing I thought too. )

 

[FireDancer]

Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.

Here is my interpretation based solely on this post. He was probably going out with a few women, one of them being you. Nothing wrong with that, that is what you do when you are dating. Maybe at first he intended to go out with you again but in the meantime one of the other women has developed into something and he decided to see where that goes. Of course he could have just been looking for a hook up and figured out after one date and the tone of your subsequent texts that it wasn't going to happen and moved on to someone else but I have no reason to jump to that conclusion instead of the first one.

Every guy that doesn't call you back isn't cheating on a wife or girlfriend, in fact the majority aren't, just like the majority of men aren't pedophiles as another thread would have you think.

Good luck.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sounds like way too much annoyance for what amounts to a casual relationship.

FireDancer might be right...he may be dating a few people. Not in and of itself a bad thing but at least be polite of you're going to break a date with one woman to go out with another. And FireDancer may be wrong and the guy could have a "serious" girlfriend or wife & is looking for a little "sumpin', sumpin' " on the side.

Either way, I wouldn't pin too many hopes on this guy...if he calls he calls, if he doesn't he doesn't. I might be "busy" the next few times he calls...holiday season and all...you know how it is. Meanwhile, as you said, keep looking around.

 

[disykat]

I don't think it's too much annoyance, I think it's smart to consider it a marker of his consideration for you (or people in general) and the end of any possible relationship developing.

I can't believe people are advocating to give the guy another chance.

I don't think anyone is saying he's cheating on OP. There's no relationship to cheat on. He's just a jerky guy who's shown his worth.

Just because you want to date doesn't mean you have to date anyone that comes along.

 

[horseshowmom]

I think it's smart to consider it a marker of his consideration for you (or people in general) and the end of any possible relationship developing.

I can't believe people are advocating to give the guy another chance.

I don't think anyone is saying he's cheating on OP. There's no relationship to cheat on. He's just a jerky guy who's shown his worth.

Just because you want to date doesn't mean you have to date anyone that comes along.

 

[MickeySP]

Make a date really close by you, tell him to call you when he arrives. I would be blunt, you stood me up, & my feelings are hurt. I would also make it clear if it ever happened again - DONE!

But only if you see any worth in him, only you know that.

As far as he is dating other people, of course he is - so is OP I would guess.

I met my SO on POF, 5 years later

 

[Aurora63]

I have no hopes pinned on this guy, no worries there. And whether his behavior is due to a serious girlfriend, some other casual date, real family drama or just that he's not into me, is not the point...it all boils down to bad behavior. It is simply frustrating when people ask for a date, then blow it off.

Anyway, what's done is done. I have a date with another guy on Thursday. Life goes on!

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I have no hopes pinned on this guy, no worries there. And whether his behavior is due to a serious girlfriend, some other casual date, real family drama or just that he's not into me, is not the point...it all boils down to bad behavior. It is simply frustrating when people ask for a date, then blow it off.

Anyway, what's done is done. I have a date with another guy on Thursday. Life goes on!

Good luck on your date Thursday.

 

[horseshowmom]

I have no hopes pinned on this guy, no worries there. And whether his behavior is due to a serious girlfriend, some other casual date, real family drama or just that he's not into me, is not the point...it all boils down to bad behavior. It is simply frustrating when people ask for a date, then blow it off.

Anyway, what's done is done. I have a date with another guy on Thursday. Life goes on!

Good luck on your date Thursday.