As we plan our Disney trips for the upcoming months, I thought I would share with you the thoughts of a Disney veteran who is also a 15 year Sophomore in High School. She submitted this article in one of her classes as she told them how she was preparing for our Christmas trip this year. Declaration of Independence from the People of Disney World When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bands of acquaintance which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the imagineers, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Disney and of Walt Disney himself entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all guests of Disney World are created equal, that they are endowed by their tickets with certain unalienable rights, that among these are joy, unforgettable experiences, and the pursuit of happiness--that to secure these rights, cast members are instituted among guests, deriving their just powers from the one and only, Mickey Mouse--that whenever any guest becomes manipulative or inconsiderate of these rights, it is the right of the cast members and other guests to abolish them, therefore reducing the wait time in lines, and creating an even more magical experience for those who so deserve it. There are several types of guests in Disney World, and the I-need-a-photograph-no-matter-what-and-I-dont-care-if-I-have-to-stop-and-make-you-wait-for-me types are the most stressful to deal with. Disney World is like a magical version of a bustling city, where time is money and your childs happiness could be dependent on the specific day you decide to attend this amusement park. Imagine being one of the very first people to enter the park and directly in front of you, less than 500 feet away, is the beauty of a line-free Space Mountain staring right back. Hastening toward that ride is the only logical decision of any Disney World attendee! However, the person in front of you decides to block the entire path between you and your potential happiness, just so they can get a picture of their child standing next to a Mickey Mouse shaped tree. Of course being considerate is important so the only option is to wait, but by the time they have finished taking their pictures, other people have gone through the other path to Space Mountain and a half hour waiting line has already formed. The next half hour is spent with you waiting and recalling the old saying no good deed goes unpunished. The next type of guest in the utopia of Disney World is the my-child-is-more-important-than-your-child-so-I-am-going-to-put-them-on-my-shoulders-during-parades-and-shows-and-you-wont-be-able-to-see-a-thing guest. This type of guest only leaves you with the option of peeking around them or trying to walk to a different spot in the crowd, which is almost an impossibility due to the fact that everyone is packed in the viewing area like sardines. Yet another species of guests that are extremely easy to find in Disney World are the I-know-that-it-is-midnight-and-my-child-is-screaming-and-crying-at-a-horrid-volume-but-I-am-staying-no-matter-what-and-I-am-also-probably-going-to-be-irritable species. This is the type of guest that gets on ones nerves the quickest because theyre absolutely everywhere in the park. As you continue through this magical metropolis, youre bound to encounter the I-am-going-to-lock-arms-with-at-least-four-other-people-in-my-family-so-that-there-is-no-way-of-getting-around-us type of guest, who think that forming a military column movement will allow them to move at any pace they desire without having to worry about people from behind moving in front of them. This kind of guest not only causes irritability among those who are in a rush, but they also slow the speed of the entire park down so that grief and impatience become mutual feelings to everyone. Probably the most despicable type of guest would be the I-am-going-to-use-my-stroller-as-a-battering-ram-even-if-there-is-no-child-in-the-stroller guest. These guests almost always arise out of nowhere, and have even caused great amounts of danger and injury to those not paying attention. Theyre usually operated by soccer moms running to meet up with the rest of their family, which often means that there isnt even a child in the stroller. Trying to solve the problem of undesirable guests of Disney World has been no easy task, but over the years I have acquired some useful techniques when dealing with these ignoramuses. To begin, you have to lose almost all thoughts of compassion and consideration for others. This doesnt mean that you have to go around being intentionally rude to all, but if one of these obnoxious guests is lessening the value of your vacation, its imperative to show no weakness. When dealing with the photo-taking guests, I have tried to simply walk through the photo. However, this caused upset and foul language to be shouted, so I have learned to quickly run through the photo being taken and to not look back at any cost. Second, when putting up with the people who block your view in a parade or show with their child on their shoulders, I have tried tried to use a water gun and squirt the child until they have slipped off their parents shoulders. Sadly, this caused the parents to chase me around the park until I had to dive into the moat of Cinderellas Castle. Thirdly, instead of having to endure the screams and cries of tired children and their irritable parents who wont leave, I have tried to dress up as Mickey Mouse and order them to shut up and leave the park. This attempt has only rewarded me with even more flustered children who have now developed a hatred of Mickey, a reaction that even I feel bad to have caused. Fourthly, solving the problem of people who form an insuperable bond of hand holding between them and four others is a tricky dilemma to overcome but it becomes simple when using the proper technique. When coveting a spot in front of a certain group of people so I no longer would have to to drag at their pace, I searched for the youngest member of the posse since they usually have the weakest strength. Next, I simply charged through the arms of the person spotted, which sent their arms flailing all over the place, and ran as fast as I could so they never knew what hit them. Im proud to say that this has been one of the most effective of all my techniques of declaring independence from the people of Disney World, and can also work in a variety of other situations such as school hallways. However, if the person was stronger than you estimated and their hand-locks dont end up splitting at all, its best to claim that youre blind and avoid them for the rest of your visit. Lastly, when solving the repugnant issue of people using strollers as battering rams, I have tried to put up nothing less than a war with these people. To start, I have tried to stare them down with my best evil eye just so they know the importance of their ignorance, then I have proceeded to stick my leg in front of the stroller to trip them and their danger-filled buggy. Unfortunately, the only solution I have encountered from this attempt was skid marks all across my leg, a broken stroller, and a soccer mom boiling with anger. Solving the problems to our grievances is never an easy task, but Ive learned that enough trial and error will be nothing short of a learning experience for all. We, therefore, the ideal guests of Disney World, assembled, appealing to hundreds of cast members and imagineers of Disney World, do, in the name, and by the Authority of the good people who simply want an unforgettable vacation, solemnly publish and declare, That these ideal guests are, and of right ought to be able to kick undesired guests out, and that all bands of acquaintance between their ignorant mindsets and us ought to be dissolved, and that as considerate people, we should have full power to live our vacations well, make memories that will last a lifetime, fulfill the pursuit of happiness that young children have so desired to gain from Disney World, and do all other acts and things which considerate guests may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our money, our mouse ear hats, and our sacred Honor. The only thing I would add would the dreaded "line cutter".