Canadian Buffoon's Disney With a Teen Vacation - 08/13 - The Wrap

[Steppesister]

Yes it does!! Was planning on breaking the news to you when I jump by your PTR, but it wasn't going to be fun to give it to you.

Well, poo poo. It is one of my favorites for sure, but oh well, like Ponzi says, not gonna let it ruin the trip. Still a lot of things to do and enjoy, but yeah, the kiddos will be pretty sad.

 

[pkondz]

Why yes, yes it has!

And this piques my curiosity quite nicely.

Sorry for piquing.
I'll try to not do that in the future.

This interchange made skipping class today completely worth it!

Really? Gee, if that's all it takes...
No. Better not. Don't want you to fail at this stage of the game.

Well, that bites.

Yes. Yes it does.

But seriously, you could probably go and save a crap-ton of $$ on park tickets altogether and still have a dang fine vacay.

This is true... However.
I wanna ride BTMRR!!

 

[pkondz]

Thanks for being nice. That was 10 years ago. 50 is just a number.

Just a number, huh?
What if I'd been mean and said 70? Still just a number? Hmmmm????

Doesn't matter anyway.
Young at fart.

Heart.

We like it. The rooms are always nice. We can just go up the elevator and take a break when we want. We usually eat at the buffet or bar/grill.

I like that idea.
Just pop up whenever you want.

That's what I thought. Why couldn't it be the teacups!

I'd pay extra to not go on teacups.

 

[franandaj]

Well, poo poo. It is one of my favorites for sure, but oh well, like Ponzi says, not gonna let it ruin the trip. Still a lot of things to do and enjoy, but yeah, the kiddos will be pretty sad.

Well just come down to Disneyland! Our ride already had the major refurb. We can go on it over and over and over!

 

[pkondz]

Well just come down to Disneyland! Our ride already had the major refurb. We can go on it over and over and over!

You present a good case.

 

[orangecats2]

I really want to go to DL, have since my first time at WDW which was almost 38 years ago!

Are you saying that you're going to tip me over (and pour me out)?

 

[pkondz]

I really want to go to DL, have since my first time at WDW which was almost 38 years ago!

Yeah, right. Nice try.
You're only 29, so there's no way you were anywhere 38 years ago.
Oh. Typo. You meant to type 18 years ago.
Yeah, okay. I buy that.

Are you saying that you're going to tip me over (and pour me out)?

Are you saying you're a little tea pot?

 

[pkondz]

Update coming (probably) tomorrow night.
Saturday at the latest.

 

[Steppesister]

Well just come down to Disneyland! Our ride already had the major refurb. We can go on it over and over and over!

You Temptress, You!!

 

[pkondz]

Vancouver

Before we begin our next installment,
a little house-cleaning is in order.
And I don't mean real house-cleaning, of course
(Ha! Ha! Of course not! I'm a man!)
well... okay, I did clean the bathroom a couple of days ago,
(I am, however, married and therefore whipped.
You can disregard that whole "I'm a man!" comment.)

But what I mean, in this instance, is a reference
that has been made a few times that many of you
were not privy to.


I like that expression... "privy to."
It sounds like something my DW might say.
"I've cleaned the oven!" Says I.
"Good!" She calls out. "Now clean the privy too!"


But the joke's on her. I've already cleaned it.
Now who's the man?

Feel free to not answer that.
Seriously.


um.
Can anyone say "tangent!"
(Say it. Bonus points. 'Nuff said.)

The story was (briefly) mentioned on FB.
It was my first and (to date) only post there.
So herein I reveal the details.
And it's not that great a story, but to appease your curiosity...
(And you are curious. I know. I can feel it.
Or maybe that's just the lasagne I ate. Whatever.)


We all have our duties to perform.
Those chores that by dint of punishment or merit
are ours and ours alone.


Side note.
If you are one of my younger readers
and are planning to marry
or cohabitate sometime in the future, take note.
If you do a chore that first time... it will always be your chore.
"Honey, could you take out the garbage?"
It's a trap! You do it once and it's yours forever.

Being fore-warned is being fore-armed.
And frankly my forearms are a little sore
from all the garbage I've taken out.


Anyway.

We all have our chores to do.
Some of mine include all the shopping and all the cooking.
I don't mind. The alternative is Ruby cooking.
And ain't nobody wants that!

Shall I regale you with the story
of the first meal she cooked for me?

I shall.

We were settling in to our new home,
I came home from work.
"I made pizza for us!" She says.
"mmm... " Says I.
I took a bite.
"How is it?" She asks.
Now, folks. I don't know why I said what I said.
I was younger, so... you know. Stupider.
(Please note I said "Stupider". I'm still stupid. Of course.)

"How is it?" She asks.
"It doesn't taste very good." I answer.
For some reason, she got angry.
"If you think you can do better, you do the cooking!"

And there you have it.
(In my defense, she made the pizza from a box mix.
You're far better off just eating the box. Trust me.)
And I make a killer pizza.

Tangent!!

Sorry.
Back to our story that has nothing to do with
this part of the TR that has nothing to do with the main TR.


So on that particular day, like so many others, I had to cook supper.
The only difference in this particular day
was that Kay had a band thing she had to do in the evening.
I had to get her downtown by 7:00pm, so it was a bit of a rush.

Ruby had mentioned that I hadn't made a particular dish in a while.
And since it's super quick and easy,
this night seemed tailor made for it.

Chicken and spaghetti.
Want the recipe? Sure.
Take some chicken, chop. Throw in pan with spices.
What spices? I don't care. Pick something.
Cook. Add tomato sauce. Serve over spaghetti.
Sounds lame, but it tastes okay.
My best dish? Well, no. But easy? Yep. Quick? Yep.

So that's my job.
Kay's job is the dishes.
Now I knew she had to get ready for band,
but give her an inch and she'll take an unlimited license to
procrastinate until there's no way it'll ever get done.
(Takes after her Father. I couldn't be more proud.
Just don't tell Ruby. It drives her nuts. So do I.)

"Dad, I have to get ready for band!"
"Then you better get these dishes done fast!"

That may have contributed to the incident.

Now I'm not completely heartless.
(Mostly, yes. But not completely.)
I planned to free her from her dishes servitude
in 15-20 minutes and finish up whatever was left.

I don't remember where I was, but I remember hearing
the familiar clatter of dishes and then...
nothing.

"Hmm... probably procrastinating again."
Which was a little odd, since I thought she'd be hurrying.

I heard her cry out "Piper no!" (our dog)
but that's not overly unusual.
After not hearing anything for a bit, I decided to investigate.

Interesting.
Kay was now wearing her pajamas.
Odd.
What was even odder...
is "odder" a word? Seems... well... odd.
Oh, sure. I can use it in a sentence.
"That d'er motor's gonna blow. You odder get it fixed."
or
"Mommy! In the water! An odder is swimming by!"

Works.

What was even odder was that Kay seemed to be sitting on the floor.
On closer inspection, she was crouched down...
In a huge puddle of tomato sauce and chicken bits.

She explained what happened.
"I was putting the sauce in the fridge when the lid slipped.
I tried to save it, but the lid came off and..."
She gestured at the carnage before her.

"Why are you wearing pajamas? Did you..." I started.
And stopped.
She nodded sadly.
"I got it all over my sweatshirt and my pants."
Two for two! She doesn't fool around.

She really doesn't.
She spilled the sauce on her shirt, her pants,
the inside of the fridge (three levels! bonus points!),
the inside and side of the fridge door, the top and outside
of the freezer door and thankfully, to complete the ensemble,
the inside of the freezer.
I'm still not sure how she managed that last one.

I took a deep breath and...
quick as a cat I lashed out!
But she was quicker.
She ducked underneath my blow
and delivered a solid jab to my mid-section.

No, wait... that didn't happen.
Uh... Oh, right...

I took a deep breath and...
asked her where her clothes were now.
"In the bathroom sink. Soaking."
Good enough.
"Okay. Go get ready for band. I'll take care of this."
(Thankfully she wasn't wearing her band clothes at the time.
Her white shirted band clothes.)

Needless to say, clean up took a while.
By the time we had to go,
the dishes still hadn't been touched.
At least the floor and fridge were clean.


As an addendum, I was not a happy camper later that night.
I took Kay to her concert and enjoyed it.
We got home some time after 10pm.
I had to get up at five the next morning
and knew after that,
I wouldn't get to bed until around eight the following morning.
(Short change from Days to Mids.)
I'd already been up since five a.m. that morning,
so I was wiped out by the time we got home.
All I wanted to do was park the car, get in the house
and collapse into bed.

The dishes were still sitting there waiting for me.
Really? No one could do them in the last four hours?

I know Ruby was tired too,
and she probably had fallen asleep shortly after I left.
I also know that if she'd seen it, it would've been done.
But Elle came home at some point.
She even had something to eat and added to the pile.
I was less than impressed.

Having kids to help with the chores
sounds great in theory.
Practical application is a whole other story.

Thus endeth the kitchen episode.
Boring. But you asked. So it's your fault.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Now where were we...
Ah! Right.
The suitcases had just been eaten at the airport.
Hopefully we'd see them again in Vancouver.

Vancouver.
The previous evening I had received an email from the hotel.
I could now do online check in.
Reminded me of Disney.

This would be the second time all four of us stayed there.
The first time was about six years earlier.
It was Elle's first major dance competition.
It was also where I discovered that just because you call yourself
a major competition, it don't necessarily make it so.
But that's a whole other story.


What's that?
You wanna hear it?
mmm.... hang on.
Let me get this out of the way first.


The competition was at the River Rock Casino Resort.
Which made perfect sense.
Hold a competition for hundreds of underage kids
in a resort where the only food you can get
(other than the very posh, very expensive restaurant or the pricey buffet)
is at the food court inside the casino.
i.e. Where none of the kids are allowed.

We had stayed in a two bedroom suite,
since we were also hosting one of Elle's dance friends.
(The same friend we took to Niagara Falls. You can read about that here.)
Ruby and I had our own room, Elle and Dee had theirs
and Kay drew the short straw and had the pullout in the living room.

The room was nice. The resort was convenient to the airport.
I knew how to get there....
So that's where we were going to stay again.
And since I couldn't find a two bedroom suite in Hawaii,
I figured it might be nice to have one for at least one night, right?

So I clicked all the right boxes for the online check in.
It asked if I wanted a harbour view for only $20 more.

I couldn't see the point.
We'd be arriving in Vancouver about six at night.
By the time we got our bags, got settled, got fed...
Well, who needs a view when you're sleeping.
No thanks.

It then offered me a bunch of expensive add ons.
The Romance package.
The Family package.
The Casino package.
The Breakfast package.
etc.

Nope. Nope. Nope. And... nope.
Done!

The only thing I didn't tell the girls,
was that I'd reserved a two room suite.
I wanted it to be a surprise.


Now, at the airport, after the delay in getting Kay out of school
and me circling the airport and parking in the wilderness.
Followed by the semi-lengthy bag-check process...
Well, we weren't late, but it was definitely time to move.

We headed over to security and I was pleased to see
that it wasn't overly busy.
Truthfully, I've never seen it that busy there.
We made it through fairly quickly.
Even Ruby made it through without setting off the detector.
This is a big deal. I think it may even be a first.

Okay. Now where's our gate?
There! Go! Go! Go!
We hustled over to the gate and...

No plane.
("OMG!" You cry. "Pictures! Finally pictures! I can stop reading!"
Heh. Rather presumptuous of me to assume you'd started reading.)

Now I'm no expert on crowd dynamics
or airline loading factors...
But I'm pretty sure that if the plane's not there,
they're not going to be boarding right away.

Call it a hunch.

I figured since we weren't in a rush anymore...
"Who wants Starbucks?"
Ruby said no... in fact she'd take the opportunity
to visit the Ladies room.
Elle declined, she was too busy desperately missing her boyfriend
(Well it had already been minutes that they were apart)
and texting him to let him know it.
So Kay and I set out.
We left Elle to guard the carry-ons.

Does it not look like the bag is telling you to recycle?
And notice the death grip she has on one of the carry-ons?
Can you guess which one has her stuff in it?

Kay and I wandered over to Starbucks and got drinks and treats
and then headed back to our gate.

Hey! Look what showed up while we were gone.

Kay was worried that she wouldn't be allowed
to bring her drink on the plane.
(You can.)
I told her not to worry.
But I did tell her that her cookie would have to go,
so I reached for it.

She bit me.


Not long after,
(I know it wasn't long, because my hand was still sore.)
they began boarding.
I knew the plane was going to be full,
so I got everybody up and in line ahead of time.

I used to do the exact opposite.

I'd sit and relax while the cattle lined up in the corral
and were herded on board the plane.
Why rush? You're just going to be trapped on board
for the next X number of hours.

Why rush? I'll tell you why.
Because we had two carry ons, one camera bag
and a laptop. (plus purses for the girls)
Not really a lot for four people I don't think.
But... others carry that amount... for one person.

So storage space is at a premium.
And I despise having to store stuff at my feet.
I'd prefer the legroom thank you very much.

So that means boarding asap.


The reason I knew the plane was full?
The night before, when I picked our seats,
the only ones available were four across at
the back of the plane.

I actually wanted two and two.
Two middle and two window seats,
one row behind the other.
And I couldn't do it.
Oh, well. Not the end of the world.
But the plane is configured with rows of
three seats on either side of the aisle.
One person would have to sit with strangers.
Kay needs the window seat, to help her motion sickness.
Elle doesn't care, so she can have the middle seat.
And Ruby decided that since I was sick,
we shouldn't subject me to strangers any more than necessary.
So I had the aisle seat in the row with the kids
and Ruby sat with the strangers.

And thus prevented me from fulfilling a life-long dream.
Sort-of.

But I'll get to that later.


After boarding and stowing our stuff, we settled into our seats.
At first, Ruby was sitting by herself.
I knew that the seats were taken,
but the temporary owners hadn't shown up to claim them yet.
Eventually, a young couple came and sat down.
They each had a padded cage with them.
My first thought was either cats or small dogs.
I didn't find out right away though, since they shoved them
under their seats.
Whatever.
Time to go.

First. The safety dance.
"If the plane is about to crash
and we're all going to die horrible deaths,
please don your oxygen masks which will keep you
in your seats so identifying the bodies will be easier."

Of course then they tell you that the stupid
oxygen bag may not even inflate,
so you can't even amuse your fellow passengers
by slamming your hands together on it making a loud
exploding sound when the bag pops.

Totally takes the fun out of dying.

Plus.
No smoking in the bathroom.
But everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed on planes.

"We're all gonna die!"
"I want one last smoke!"
"Sir! You can't smoke on the plane!
Put your flat oxygen mask that you can't pop, on!"

After being totally reassured, they then tell us
that since we're flying over water,
we have to know how to put on life vests.
Because if you plummet 40,000 feet into the
middle of the Pacific ocean... in winter...
You really want to make sure you have a life vest.

Doesn't that just smack of favoritism for the sharks
as opposed to the bottom feeding crabs and such?


So. Now that we're completely terrified to fly,
let's get going!

Wait. They have to make sure that if there
are any French speaking people on the plane
that they are just as terrified as the rest of us.

Those people who only speak Tagalog or Chinese
get to feel safe.
You can recognize them.
They're the ones who are still happy.

Okay. Now let's get going.

And, twenty minutes late, we pushed back from the gate.

But we weren't quite ready to go yet.
First they had to de-ice the plane.
It's a fairly standard and routine procedure
that is automatically done whenever there are
icing conditions present.

I did have a little chuckle when Kay asked why
they were spraying the plane with water.
Boy, that would've made that safety dance worthwhile!

Eventually, the safety dance and the de-icing were done.
Let's get this Boeing going!

And once we were airborne...
I noticed something interesting.
It looked like in the whole plane,
there were three... no, four...
Four broken TV screens.
Our three in our row. And Ruby's.

I kid you not.
I looked around.
Everyone's TV was working.
Except for four.
Our four.

Awesome.


Pretty soon, the flight attendants starting serving drinks and snacks.
I told her about our TVs not working.
She claimed to not be aware of an entire row being broken.
Really, what else could she say?
"Ha! I know! Sucks to be you!"

Actually, that would've been pretty funny.

But what she did do was tell us that we could each have
a snack pack (no charge) if we liked.

(From the inflight menu.)

I think the only difference was the cookies,
but the rest was the same.
Ruby and I declined, but the monst... uh, kids got them.
I think they managed to suffer along with them.
They look pretty sad, though, don't they?

Around this time, Ruby's seatmates decided to check on their animals.
They pulled out the cages and opened the doors.

Good Lord! What sort of evil fiends are they transporting?

It turned out to be rabbits.
One was a Lionhead and the other a Dwarf Lop,
if that means anything to you.
Go and Google, for a better look.

Once we discovered who Ruby's seatmates were,
we had two very disappointed passengers on the plane.
One was Kay. Kay is animal crazy.
She loves anything that moves that isn't human.
Or at least it seems that way.
Don't believe me?
Take her to a pet store.
I'll see you in five hours.
(Assuming the store closes in five hours.)
She so wished she was sitting in Ruby's seat.

The other disappointed passenger?
Me.
Do you have any idea how long I've waited
to be that close to a bunny????

A few hours later, we were over Vancouver preparing to land.

The bunnies went back under their seats
and we were soon on the ground.

I'll say two things.
One is: Vancouver is a beautiful airport.
Two is: I didn't take any pictures.
Gotta get those bags. Sorry.


I have this fear that if I don't get to the
carousel as quickly as humanly possible.
That I'll somehow miss the bags
and they'll get swallowed up again.
For all time.
Stupid. But there it is.
(Plus, you already knew I was stupid.)


I have a system.
It's my bag retrieval system.
Whenever I have to fetch bags after a flight,
once I find the proper carousel,
I strategically position myself
for peak bag retrieval efficiency.

I note which way the carousel will move.
Sometimes this is obvious, sometimes it's not.
I then place myself near, but slightly downstream from
the barf chute.
This way I can see the bags as they come up/out
(and be disappointed every time)
and grab the bags right away.
Does it save time?
No.
But it feels like I am.

And this time it backfired on me.
Oh, I got our bags out lickety split, but...
(Why, yes. As a matter of fact we did get our bags.
You seem surprised by this. Wonder why?)


There was a massive group of young kids on our flight.
I hadn't really noticed them before,
I guess they were the reason we were full and also
why we were at the very back of the plane.
But I sure noticed them when they got to the carousel.
They must've been around Grade 7 or 8.
So 12-14 years old?

Well, they too had a bag retrieval system.
Their group started to congregate in the same
general area that we were waiting.
They seemed nice enough.
Bubbly. High spirited.
Good kids.


Until the bags started coming out.


It was like a Christmas miracle at the orphanage.


As soon as the first bag hove into view,
the crowd went wild.
"Jeff! Jeff! I think that's your bag!"
It wasn't.
But half a dozen kids had to stop the bag and examine it
before an older, slightly miffed, gentleman
picked it up for his own.

More bags began to descend.
The excitement grew.
The noise grew.
One boy squeezed himself in right in front of me.
So close that I was forced to take a half step back.
Normally, I'd either not move at all,
or take a half step forward.
But at that point, I was giving the little heathens
the benefit of the doubt.

I shouldn't have.

The same boy turns to face me and screams into my face:
"IS THAT YOURS!!!"
(No. No question marks. Because it wasn't one.)
The screech wasn't directed at me.
A girl runs up right behind me.
No. You don't understand.
Right. Behind. Me.
As in she was leaning on me.
And since the boy was now approximately two feet away,
she screamed back: "THAT'S MY BAG!!!!"

Pretty sure she wanted to make sure everyone knew
that it was, in fact, her bag.
But how to be sure?
And what if some of her classmates are still on the plane?

Luckily, she had a solution for that.

She screamed "THAT'S MY BAG!!!" over and over again.
There's no way anyone could not know which bag was hers.
You, at home, may have heard her.

I glanced over at Ruby and shrugged.
She mouthed back "Really?"
And she managed to put so much scorn into that gesture
that I'm surprised the girl didn't spontaneously melt from
an excess of derision.

Thankfully, after screaming about her bag half a dozen
or more times, she retrieved it and shut the hell up.

Mercifully, our bags soon followed and we bolted
for the relative safety of, well... anywhere they weren't.


Now, I've mentioned that we'd stayed in Vancouver before
at the same hotel I'd booked for this trip.
I knew, from that trip, that the best way to get
from here to there, was via the SkyTrain.
(Vancouver's answer to the monorail.)
But there was a best way to do it.
You could simply go to the train terminal
and buy your tickets there.
But that's for suckers.
Why? Because a train ticket is $2.75 each.
Plus a $5 airport fee. Each.
For a grand total of $31.00.

Or. If you happen to know this.
You can go one level down to the 7Eleven
and get a booklet of 10 tickets for $21.
Even disregarding the $5 airport fee,
I'd still be saving on buying individual tickets
for the round trip.

Hmmm... 7Eleven.
"Does anyone want something to drink?
I already know you want a Diet Coke, Ruby."
The kids accompanied me.
We all grabbed something and we headed to the cashier.

"Can I get a 10 pack of FareSaver tickets." I asked.
"Sorry. We don't sell those anymore." She replied.
"Uh... What? When did you stop selling them?" I blurted.
"January 31st."
Two weeks ago!

Dang it!!!

"So, where do we get tickets?" I asked.
I already had a hunch what she was going to say
and I was not disappointed.
"You can buy them at the train terminal."

I knew it.

We went back upstairs.
I saw a couple of gentlemen standing beside
an information booth and thought. "What the heck."
"Excuse me. What's the best way to get to the
River Rock Hotel?" I asked.

Turns out the cheapest way (and fastest, too!)
is to take a cab.
"$20 flat rate." One of them said.

So that's what we did.
Even with tip, it was still cheaper than the train.


We arrived at the River Rock shortly thereafter.
It was like being hit in the face with cold water.
All the memories from Elle's first competition
came flooding back.

We were standing in the atrium where her
dance school's Director spoke to all the parents.

And off to the right,
the theatre where she performed.

And I remembered how it had been a travesty.
They were great.
The crowd loved them.
They'd qualified quite handily in Jazz
and now everyone could see why.
Except the judges decided that instead of Jazz,
they thought it was more folkloric.
(It was an interpretation of the Can-Can.)
So they deducted 10 points.
Even though it was the competition that
placed them in that category in the first place.
The owner of the competition asked the judges to
reconsider, but they refused.
Prima Donnas.
The Judges were contestants from
So You Think You Can Dance.
So I think they can't judge.

Just because you can dance,
doesn't mean you can judge.

They would've had the highest score of the entire competition.
As it was, they finished at the bottom of their category.

I'm still ticked about that.

Whatever. Moving onwards and upwards!


We approached the front desk and announced ourselves.
I didn't do anything or say anything,
but the clerk did.
"How would you like an upgrade to the Penthouse Suite?"

All right!!
<fistbump>

We got our room keys and headed for the elevator.

We found our room and...

This room has more bathrooms than our house!

We entered into a small foyer.
To the right was a cloak room and a small powder room.
(That's one.)
Down a couple of steps directly ahead lay the living room
with an over size TV and fireplace.
Adjacent was a dining table that sat six
and across from it, a wet bar.

The girls were very upset about the room, obviously.

This was the kid's room.
Queen size bed, large TV...

... and their own ensuite.
(That's two.)

Their shower was a little disappointing.
You could fit a small car in it,
but definitely not a full size one.

The girls did say, however, that the acoustics were wonderful.
So there's that.

Opposite their room, across the wide expanse of the living room,
was our room.
King size bed, another large TV and...

... our ensuite.
(and that's three.)

And why, yes.
As a matter of fact,
that is indeed a two person Jacuzzi.

Easily the second nicest hotel room we'd ever stayed in.

But we didn't stay long.
It was late... and we were starving!
The kids did have those snack packs on the plane,
but by now it was around 9pm (Winnipeg time.)


I mentioned earlier that the best place to get something
to eat was at the casino food court.
Elle was very excited.
She'd never been in a casino before.
And now that she was 18, that was going to change!

We marched up to the guardian of the gate
and I asked him what the age restriction was.
"You have to be 19 to enter." He said.

The look on Elle's face!
She looked so... deflated.
It took everything I had to not laugh at her.
She looked like a kitten that had just been dunked in water.


Ruby and I marched into the casino
and scoped out the food court.
I took blurry pictures of the menu items
and we presented it to the girls.

They made their choices and we marched back in.

It was right around here that I remembered something.

Remember back at the airport when we were at 7Eleven?
And Ruby wanted a Diet Coke?
And I bought drinks for everyone?

Everyone except Ruby.

I don't know what was wrong with me.
I never forget stuff like that!
Bad husband! Bad!
I deserve to be whipped with a wet noodle!

mmm.... noodles.....

I decided to have the shrimp, noodle wonton soup.
Ruby grabbed some pizza (and a Diet Coke. )
Elle had a Caesar salad and Kay got a
beef, shrimp and veg, noodle dish.

I also glanced at the salt packages.
I thought I should take some.
Not to eat.
But to gargle warm salt water, for my throat.
Nah... throat's not that bad.
Not great... but not bad.

We lugged all the food back up to the room and...

Either we were all starving
or it was really good.
No pictures. Ain't got time for that!
Food!


When we finished our eclectic meal,
we headed to our respective rooms.
Tomorrow's flight was at 9:45am
and I wanted us on the road by 7:00am.

Just to be safe.

Ruby fiddled with her iPad for a bit
and I decided to try out the Jacuzzi.

Aaaaahhhhhh.... that's the stuff.
Not as deep as my tub back home,
but not bad... not bad at all....
Plus... bubbles.
Some of them were even from the jets.

But now, to bed.
I crawled in.
There's just something about hotel beds,
isn't there?
(And no. I don't mean bed bugs.)


Big day tomorrow.
Hawaii! Can't wait!
Sun! Surf! Sand! Warmth!

The Jacuzzi jets came back on.
Uh...
Ruby looked at me.
I looked at Ruby.
"Did you turn it off?"
"Yeah, of course. It was off 'til just a second ago."
And as suddenly as it turned on, it turned off.

Dunno.
Maybe it's some kind of self cleaning thing.



Around midnight, I drifted off to sleep
with visions of Hawaiian paradise floating in my head....






I didn't sleep for long.

Around 1:00am, I bolted up in bed.
I couldn't breathe!
My throat was on fire!!



Contest!

Previous chapter's questions and answers:

1. Is our flight on time or delayed?
Answer: Delayed 20 minutes. 5 points

2. What annoying thing happens on our flight?
Answer: TVs don't work. 15 points
(only @BibbitybobityLu got that one.)

3. What good thing happens at our hotel?
Answer: Room upgrade! 10 points

4. Animals! Animals on a plane! What kind?
Answer: Bunnies. 15 points
(only @DISNEYMOON10121991 and @SoccerDogWithEars got it.)


Oh. And 20 bonus points for anyone who guesses
what our one and only excursion is.
Well, we haven't gotten to that part yet.
Maybe we wont?

Standings:
mmeb144 - on time, no pretzels, have bags, rat, surfing - 0 points (Sorry!)
orangecats2 - delayed, no drinks, free mini bar, panda, horseback riding - 5 points
Steppesister - delayed, kid kicker, lei-ed, bird, helicopter - 5 points
DonnaBeeGood - delayed, seat kicker, hot tub, ferret, volcano tour - 10 points
(there was a hot tub)
MHSweb79 - delayed, coughing, room upgrade, ants, surfing - 15 points
Terra Nova guy - delayed, baby crying, room upgrade, guinea pig, volcano tour - 15 points
franandaj - delayed, baby crying, room upgrade, pig, snorkeling - 15 points
rndmr2 - delayed, bad kids, room upgrade, bird, surfing - 15 points
vrajewski10513 - on time, baby crying, room upgrade, pig, whale watch - 10 points
afwdwfan - on time, coughing, room upgrade, bird, volcano tour - 10 points
SoccerDogWithEars - delayed, baby crying, room upgrade, rabbit, whale watch - 30 points
Captain_Oblivious - on time, bad kid, room upgrade, fruit flies, zip line - 10 points
6travel - delayed, farter, Ocean view, ferret, snorkeling - 5 points
Curiouser&curiouser! - on time, me coughing, room upgrade, ferret, snorkeling - 10 points
Gracefulskinny - on time, loud bird, room upgrade, bird, Road to Hana - 10 points
SnowWhiteOz - on time, sick passenger, room upgrade, turkey, snorkeling - 15 points
(bonus for nailing the upgrade)
irene_dsc - delayed, 3/4 movie, upgrade, guinea pig, volcano tour - 15 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - delayed, space invaders, room upgrade, iguana, zip line - 15 points
Mrs T 2009 - on time, loud people, room ready, mini horse, zip line - 0 points (sorry!)
jandlinz - delayed, crying baby, upgrade, bird, zip line - 15 points
ForeverDance - on time, seat kicker, upgrade, mice, whale watch - 10 points
Self_resqing_princz - delayed, turbulence, better view, ferret - 5 points
TheLittleKatie - on time, seat kicker, upgrade, bird, whale watch - 10 points
cinderkelly - on time, me coughing, Elvis, bird, helicopter tour - 0 points (sorry!)
natebenma - on time, no bathroom, free brekkie, bird, Haleakala - 0 points (sorry!)
BibbitybobityLu - delayed, TVs down, upgrade, ants, dolphin swim - 30 points
MAGICFOR2 - on time, coughing, view, guinea pig, sub tour - 0 points (sorry!)
DISNEYMOON10121991 - on time, crying kid, rabbit, room upgrade, volcano tour - 25 points

Funniest line - DISNEYMOON10121991 "Post dang update" - 5 points.
Best comment - BibbitybobityLu... obvi-elmo-isly - 5 points

Standings:
BibbitybobityLu - 35 points
DISNEYMOON10121991 - 30 points
SoccerDogWithEars - 30 points
franandaj - 15 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - 15 points
irene_dsc - 15 points
jandlinz - 15 points
MHSweb79 - 15 points
rndmr2 - 15 points
SnowWhiteOz - 15 points
Terra Nova guy - 15 points
afwdwfan - 10 points
Captain_Oblivious - 10 points
Curiouser&curiouser! - 10 points
DonnaBeeGood - 10 points
ForeverDance - 10 points
Gracefulskinny - 10 points
TheLittleKatie - 10 points
vrajewski10513 - 10 points
6travel - 5 points
orangecats2 - 5 points
Self_resqing_princz - 5 points
Steppesister - 5 points
cinderkelly - 0 points
MAGICFOR2 - 0 points
mmeb144 - 0 points
Mrs T 2009 - 0 points
natebenma - 0 points

Next round:
1. Do we make our original scheduled flight?

2. When we do get going, name one movie I watched.
(But how could we know that?)
Easy. Someone (not me) already posted a picture from it.
It's between this update and the last.

3. Where do we eat breakfast?
OMG. We're Canadian. I've already told you where Canadians go!
And no. Not Starbucks.

4. Did you see it? Bonus points if you did.
No? Might want to look again.

5. What's our first real meal in Hawaii.
(Hint. Ruby did not partake.)

Good luck!

Coming up: Hawaii?

Mini update - We've got a winnah!​

 

[Steppesister]

Clever. And super funny. Only one question: Can I get free snacks for life?

And thus prevented me from fulfilling a life-long dream.
Sort-of.

People get arrested for that, ya know.

Let's get this Boeing going!

They were a great 80's group!

Oh. Wait. I'm thinking of Danny Elfman's group.

Next round:
1. Do we make our original scheduled flight?

Sure, why not.

2. When we do get going, name one movie I watched.
(But how could we know that?)
Easy. Someone (not me) already posted a picture from it.
It's between this update and the last.

Little Mermaid

3. Where do we eat breakfast?
OMG. We're Canadian. I've already told you where Canadians go!
And no. Not Starbucks.

Subway.

4. Did you see it? Bonus points if you did.
No? Might want to look again.

Yes, I did. (See above.)

5. What's our first real meal in Hawaii.
(Hint. Ruby did not partake.)

Hell's bells. I dunno. A pulled pork sandwich Hawaiian deal. (I'm gonna regret saying McDonalds here, I think.)

 

[DonnaBeeGood]

.

 

[cinderkelly]

And notice the death grip she has on one of the carry-ons?
Can you guess which one has her stuff in it?

" I AM NOT letting this bag sneak away!"

And once we were airborne...
I noticed something interesting.
It looked like in the whole plane,
there were three... no, four...
Four broken TV screens.

Oh no! That really stinks! I'd totally go off on a Tangent!! Maybe next time you should "Fly Pkondz Airlines!" That kind of rubbish is sure not to happen with a fine establishment.

It turned out to be rabbits.
One was a Lionhead and the other a Dwarf Lop,
if that means anything to you.
Go and Google, for a better look.

Once we discovered who Ruby's seatmates were,
we had two very disappointed passengers on the plane.

Bunnies! So cute! And huge!

Do you have any idea how long I've waited
to be that close to a bunny????

Depends on the kinda bunny you're talkin 'bout. I have bunnies in my front yard every day, you could come and sit on my porch and right next to them. But I don't think they would be as interesting as one of Hef's.

The same boy turns to face me and screams into my face:
"IS THAT YOURS!!!"
(No. No question marks. Because it wasn't one.)
The screech wasn't directed at me.
A girl runs up right behind me.
No. You don't understand.
Right. Behind. Me.
As in she was leaning on me.
And since the boy was now approximately two feet away,
she screamed back: "THAT'S MY BAG!!!!"

Pretty sure she wanted to make sure everyone knew
that it was, in fact, her bag.
But how to be sure?
And what if some of her classmates are still on the plane?

Luckily, she had a solution for that.

She screamed "THAT'S MY BAG!!!" over and over again.
There's no way anyone could not know which bag was hers.
You, at home, may have heard her.

I glanced over at Ruby and shrugged.

Turns out the cheapest way (and fastest, too!)
is to take a cab.

Good to know!

How would you like an upgrade to the Penthouse Suite?"

Sweet! Um, I mean Suite!

1. Do we make our original scheduled flight?

I think no. Sounds to me like you had to go see a man about extinguishing that fire in your throat and had to take a later flight.

2. When we do get going, name one movie I watched.
(But how could we know that?)

Inside Out, I know that cuz it was posted by Lu

3. Where do we eat breakfast?
OMG. We're

Tim Horton's

4. Did you see it? Bonus points if you did.
No? Might want to look again.

See above

What's our first real meal in Hawaii.
(Hint. Ruby did not partake.)

Tuna poke

 

[Gracefulskinny]

um.
Can anyone say "tangent!"
(Say it. Bonus points. 'Nuff said.)

TANGENT!

We all have our duties to perform.
Those chores that by dint of punishment or merit
are ours and ours alone.

We all have our chores to do.
Some of mine include all the shopping and all the cooking.
I don't mind. The alternative is Ruby cooking.
And ain't nobody wants that!

Poor Ruby!

"How is it?" She asks.

Now I knew she had to get ready for band,
but give her an inch and she'll take an unlimited license to
procrastinate until there's no way it'll ever get done.

Ahhh Teenagers!

She explained what happened.
"I was putting the sauce in the fridge when the lid slipped.
I tried to save it, but the lid came off and..."
She gestured at the carnage before her.

oh no!

She really doesn't.
She spilled the sauce on her shirt, her pants,
the inside of the fridge (three levels! bonus points!),
the inside and side of the fridge door, the top and outside
of the freezer door and thankfully, to complete the ensemble,
the inside of the freezer.
I'm still not sure how she managed that last one.

(Thankfully she wasn't wearing her band clothes at the time.
Her white shirted band clothes.)

I wouldn't get to bed until around eight the following morning.
(Short change from Days to Mids.)

Having kids to help with the chores
sounds great in theory.
Practical application is a whole other story.

I'm just begining to enter the glorious stage where they are both able and willing to start helping out! Yay for slave labor! (Yes I'm enjoying it while it lasts..)

It was also where I discovered that just because you call yourself
a major competition, it don't necessarily make it so.
But that's a whole other story.

The competition was at the River Rock Casino Resort.
Which made perfect sense.
Hold a competition for hundreds of underage kids
in a resort where the only food you can get
(other than the very posh, very expensive restaurant or the pricey buffet)
is at the food court inside the casino.
i.e. Where none of the kids are allowed.

No plane.

Well. Someone is late... guess its better that it was the plan and not you!

Does it not look like the bag is telling you to recycle?

And notice the death grip she has on one of the carry-ons?
Can you guess which one has her stuff in it?

Well guess she knows HER priorities!

But I did tell her that her cookie would have to go,
so I reached for it.

She bit me.

You should feed that kid more often.

One person would have to sit with strangers.
Kay needs the window seat, to help her motion sickness.

Poor Kay. I know how that goes!

And Ruby decided that since I was sick,
we shouldn't subject me to strangers any more than necessary.

That was nice of her. Wish the mom who took her kid to the playground after voting last week had thought to be just as considerate. Instead my whole house has been battling a cold all week.

And thus prevented me from fulfilling a life-long dream.
Sort-of.

Well bummer.

Because if you plummet 40,000 feet into the
middle of the Pacific ocean... in winter...
You really want to make sure you have a life vest.

I had a similar thought in my head when we went.

Doesn't that just smack of favoritism for the sharks
as opposed to the bottom feeding crabs and such?

It looked like in the whole plane,
there were three... no, four...
Four broken TV screens.

Its so reassuring to see that they do a good job of keeping the plan maintained.

I kid you not.
I looked around.
Everyone's TV was working.
Except for four.
Our four.

Awesome.

Lovely!

Around this time, Ruby's seatmates decided to check on their animals.
They pulled out the cages and opened the doors.

You can do that? I thought they had to stay inside the cage?

There was a massive group of young kids on our flight.

uh oh!

But I sure noticed them when they got to the carousel.
They must've been around Grade 7 or 8.
So 12-14 years old?

DANGER DANGER DANGER!

It was like a Christmas miracle at the orphanage.

The same boy turns to face me and screams into my face:
"IS THAT YOURS!!!"
(No. No question marks. Because it wasn't one.)
The screech wasn't directed at me.
A girl runs up right behind me.
No. You don't understand.
Right. Behind. Me.
As in she was leaning on me.
And since the boy was now approximately two feet away,
she screamed back: "THAT'S MY BAG!!!!"

Kudos to you for not strangling the boy.

Mercifully, our bags soon followed and we bolted
for the relative safety of, well... anywhere they weren't.

Or. If you happen to know this.
You can go one level down to the 7Eleven
and get a booklet of 10 tickets for $21.
Even disregarding the $5 airport fee,
I'd still be saving on buying individual tickets
for the round trip.

"Can I get a 10 pack of FareSaver tickets." I asked.
"Sorry. We don't sell those anymore." She replied.
"Uh... What? When did you stop selling them?" I blurted.
"January 31st."
Two weeks ago!

Turns out the cheapest way (and fastest, too!)
is to take a cab.
"$20 flat rate." One of them said.

Even though it was the competition that
placed them in that category in the first place.

We approached the front desk and announced ourselves.
I didn't do anything or say anything,
but the clerk did.
"How would you like an upgrade to the Penthouse Suite?"

The girls were very upset about the room, obviously.

Oh truly devastated by the looks of it!

heir shower was a little disappointing.
You could fit a small car in it,
but definitely not a full size one.

A travesty!

And why, yes.
As a matter of fact,
that is indeed a two person Jacuzzi.

We marched up to the guardian of the gate
and I asked him what the age restriction was.
"You have to be 19 to enter." He said.

So close!

The look on Elle's face!
She looked so... deflated.
It took everything I had to not laugh at her.
She looked like a kitten that had just been dunked in water.

Awa Poor Elle!

1. Do we make our original scheduled flight?

Yes

2. When we do get going, name one movie I watched.
(But how could we know that?)
Easy. Someone (not me) already posted a picture from it.
It's between this update and the last.

The Mask

3. Where do we eat breakfast?
OMG. We're Canadian. I've already told you where Canadians go!
And no. Not Starbucks.

Tim Hortons

4. Did you see it? Bonus points if you did.
No? Might want to look again.

Yes. Yes I did! I'm not sure how to do the spoiler thing to make it hide though.

5. What's our first real meal in Hawaii.
(Hint. Ruby did not partake.)

You went to the first 7 Eleven you could find and got Muna Poa!

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

Can anyone say "tangent!"
(Say it. Bonus points. 'Nuff said.)

TANGENT!!!

If you do a chore that first time... it will always be your chore.
"Honey, could you take out the garbage?"
It's a trap! You do it once and it's yours forever.

My fiance once expressed an annoyance at my tendency to finish a roll of TP and not replace it. Ok, I'll admit, I'm not the best, but I've made an effort to replace it when I can. So this morning, I get to the bathroom, and on the fixture is an EMPTY ROLL...with the full roll right above it on the counter. Apparently I am the only household member who has the expertise to remove an old roll and replace a new one

(In my defense, she made the pizza from a box mix.
You're far better off just eating the box. Trust me.)

You can buy pizza in a box mix? Is this like American frozen pizza? Which, speaking of tangents:
There's a new chain that has recently gained popularity in my area called Papa Murphy's. Their entire premise is that you go in, tell them what toppings you want, and they put it all together as a frozen pizza that you then take home and pop in the oven. Here's my confusion--If I want frozen pizza, I can get it for $4 at the grocery store, and then it's right there in my freezer when I need it. If I'm going to pay over $10 for a pizza, I'm going somewhere that gives it to me cooked. I just don't get it

Tangent!!

If I say it again, do I get double bonus points? Yes? Tangent!!!

The dishes were still sitting there waiting for me.
Really? No one could do them in the last four hours?

Dishes are Joe's chore (because he did them once ) But he has a particularly annoying habit of letting them stack in the sink. He swears that he simply forgets or loses track of time, but I'm convinced it's all a ploy because he knows I'll get irritated and do them to get them out of the sink.

So storage space is at a premium.
And I despise having to store stuff at my feet.
I'd prefer the legroom thank you very much.

So that means boarding asap.

So YOU'RE the guy who always uses the entire overhead bin for his laptop, jacket, lunchbox and everything so that by the time I get on I have to gate check my bag. I see how it is.

"We're all gonna die!"
"I want one last smoke!"
"Sir! You can't smoke on the plane!
Put your flat oxygen mask that you can't pop, on!"

Which begs the question: if the plane were really going down, do you think they'd really mind if you lit up? I mean, if you're going to die anyway, how will make things worse?

But what she did do was tell us that we could each have
a snack pack (no charge) if we liked.

They pulled out the cages and opened the doors.

IT'S A BUNNY!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They would've had the highest score of the entire competition.
As it was, they finished at the bottom of their category.

I'm still ticked about that.

They were robbed!! Reminds me of the time I was competing in a pageant, and I lost points on my Casual Wear because the judge said I used more of a swimsuit modeling style. You really have to wonder about these judges....

We marched up to the guardian of the gate
and I asked him what the age restriction was.
"You have to be 19 to enter." He said.

The look on Elle's face!
She looked so... deflated.

I feel her pain. Growing up a Disney fan, anytime we were in Downtown Disney we always passed the mythical gates to Pleasure Island. I couldn't WAIT for my 18th birthday. And even better, I was actually going to be IN DISNEY on my birthday. I had my night all planned out. And then, two months before...they announced Pleasure Island would be closing. For good. Before I ever turned 18. I'm still mad.

Next round:
1. Do we make our original scheduled flight?

Yes

2. When we do get going, name one movie I watched.
(But how could we know that?)
Easy. Someone (not me) already posted a picture from it.
It's between this update and the last.

After scrolling back through, I'm gonna guess Inside Out. I thought about Miss Congeniality, but you did say you were a man. Though then you told us to disregard that, so I dunno....but I'll stick with Inside Out.

3. Where do we eat breakfast?
OMG. We're Canadian. I've already told you where Canadians go!
And no. Not Starbucks.

Tim Horton's

4. Did you see it? Bonus points if you did.
No? Might want to look again.

The nice little plug for your private airline? Yes, I saw it

5. What's our first real meal in Hawaii.
(Hint. Ruby did not partake.)

Pupus! Actually, I have no idea, but we have a vendor who offers Hawaii packages and their hold message always says "And enjoy evening pupus on the beach" and I snicker every time.

Standings:
BibbitybobityLu - 35 points
DISNEYMOON10121991 - 30 points
SoccerDogWithEars - 30 points

I'm in THIRD!!! WOOHOOO!!! Yes, I'm probably a little too excited over this, but my first thought was that a certain other TR writer could suck it, because I'm still at the bottom over there. Not that I'm competitive or anything.

 

[pkondz]

Clever. And super funny. Only one question: Can I get free snacks for life?

For you? Sure.

People get arrested for that, ya know.

They arrest people for dreaming????

They were a great 80's group!

Oh. Wait. I'm thinking of Danny Elfman's group.

I had to look him up.
But yeah, I remember Oingo Boingo.

1. Do we make our original scheduled flight?

Sure, why not.

2. When we do get going, name one movie I watched.
(But how could we know that?)
Easy. Someone (not me) already posted a picture from it.
It's between this update and the last.

Little Mermaid

3. Where do we eat breakfast?
OMG. We're Canadian. I've already told you where Canadians go!
And no. Not Starbucks.

Subway.

4. Did you see it? Bonus points if you did.
No? Might want to look again.

Yes, I did. (See above.)

5. What's our first real meal in Hawaii.
(Hint. Ruby did not partake.)

Hell's bells. I dunno. A pulled pork sandwich Hawaiian deal. (I'm gonna regret saying McDonalds here, I think.)

Noted.

 

[pkondz]

Hahaha - what, no picture? We have fond memories (and pictures to prove it) when once upon a time I decided to cook a good home-cooked meal of store bought frozen lasagna. What I failed to take into account is that the lasagna was not in the usual Pyrex lasagna pan, but in a (weak and floppy) tinfoil pan. Alas, when removed from the oven, "Kersplat!" We enjoyed a few bites of floor lasagna for the camera, and then headed out for dinner!

No picture. Wish I had. Yours is awesome!
But... I see a food dish in the background.
Where was your automatic floor cleaner?

I too have separated my offspring from their beloved(s). I suspect that Elle as well survived this tragedy ...

It was close. But I think she pulled through.

I laughed out loud, scaring the cat. I can picture the immediate migraine potential!

It was... surreal.
Two kids. Complete strangers. Pretty much both leaning on me.
And screaming at each other...
about a freaking suitcase.

Man, don't get dance parents angry!

I have spent many years with dance moms.

You have no idea what they are capable of.

Now that is a posh hotel suite. I didn't know that pixie dust made it so far north!

Sometimes gets up this high on the Jetstream.

1. Yes, because of your VIP package

2. Bridesmaids

3. I can't see the Timmies, but it must be there somewhere!

4.

Spoiler: I think I see it...

Fly pkond Airways! - I think I will! Where do I book? How many air miles?

5. Pizza?

Noted.

 

[pkondz]

" I AM NOT letting this bag sneak away!"

And yet... right beside her is her lap top.
She brought it for school stuff, so maybe that's why
it's not as important.

Oh no! That really stinks! I'd totally go off on a Tangent!! Maybe next time you should "Fly Pkondz Airlines!" That kind of rubbish is sure not to happen with a fine establishment.

Nothing but the best.
Uh... did you want wings with your airplane? That's extra.

Bunnies! So cute! And huge!

I've seen lots bigger, but...
yeah. Those are bigger than your run of the mill, wild ones.

Depends on the kinda bunny you're talkin 'bout. I have bunnies in my front yard every day, you could come and sit on my porch and right next to them. But I don't think they would be as interesting as one of Hef's.

We've got bunnies around here too.
And not the ones I'm interested in.

Good to know!

Consider yourself informed.

Sweet! Um, I mean Suite!

 

[pkondz]

TANGENT!

Where!?!?

Poor Ruby!

Poor Ruby???? She gets to sit and relax while I cook!

I needed that told to me about 25 years ago...

Ahhh Teenagers!

Whoops! You had a typo there.
I think you meant to say:
"Aggghhh!!!! Teenagers!"

oh no!

Oh. Yes.

She did a very thorough job.

That's me on a weekly basis.

I'm just begining to enter the glorious stage where they are both able and willing to start helping out! Yay for slave labor! (Yes I'm enjoying it while it lasts..)

You might get lucky.


But probably not.

I know. Pretty poor planning.
But once I got to know the competition owner,
it made sense.
Planning... her least useful skill.

Well. Someone is late... guess its better that it was the plan and not you!

Well guess she knows HER priorities!

Pretty sure everything else could've been taken
and she wouldn't have noticed.

You should feed that kid more often.

Poor Kay. I know how that goes!

I know you do.

That was nice of her. Wish the mom who took her kid to the playground after voting last week had thought to be just as considerate. Instead my whole house has been battling a cold all week.

Look at it this way.
That mom is helping Little Miss develop a strong immune system
There. Doesn't that help?


I didn't think so.

Well bummer.

Definitely would've been if they'd been the other kind of bunnies.

Its so reassuring to see that they do a good job of keeping the plan maintained.

They're actually very good at that.
Their record is quite good.
But on that flight... well...

You can do that? I thought they had to stay inside the cage?

They didn't let them out.
They just opened the cage and let them pop their
heads out for a bit.
I think they might've given them some water, too.

DANGER DANGER DANGER!

No kidding!

Kudos to you for not strangling the boy.

It was a close thing.

Oh truly devastated by the looks of it!

See the tears (of joy) on their faces?

A travesty!

I know! I don't know how they could stand it!

So close!

I know. It was hilarious.

Yes

The Mask

Tim Hortons

Yes. Yes I did! I'm not sure how to do the spoiler thing to make it hide though.



You went to the first 7 Eleven you could find and got Muna Poa!

Noted.

 

[pkondz]

TANGENT!!!

What???? Where?!?!?

My fiance once expressed an annoyance at my tendency to finish a roll of TP and not replace it. Ok, I'll admit, I'm not the best, but I've made an effort to replace it when I can. So this morning, I get to the bathroom, and on the fixture is an EMPTY ROLL...with the full roll right above it on the counter. Apparently I am the only household member who has the expertise to remove an old roll and replace a new one

This is a recurring phenomenon in every house,
apartment, hovel on the planet.

You can buy pizza in a box mix? Is this like American frozen pizza?

Yep. This is the culprit.

Which, speaking of tangents:
There's a new chain that has recently gained popularity in my area called Papa Murphy's. Their entire premise is that you go in, tell them what toppings you want, and they put it all together as a frozen pizza that you then take home and pop in the oven. Here's my confusion--If I want frozen pizza, I can get it for $4 at the grocery store, and then it's right there in my freezer when I need it. If I'm going to pay over $10 for a pizza, I'm going somewhere that gives it to me cooked. I just don't get it

Mmmm.... fresh pizza. Oh, boy!
"Oh, no. It's not fresh. We freeze it!"

If I say it again, do I get double bonus points? Yes? Tangent!!!

Nope!

Dishes are Joe's chore (because he did them once )

See?? See????

But he has a particularly annoying habit of letting them stack in the sink. He swears that he simply forgets or loses track of time, but I'm convinced it's all a ploy because he knows I'll get irritated and do them to get them out of the sink.

That's exactly what Kay does.
She knows she'll get in trouble,
but the punishment is probably less than
doing the dishes.

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not.

So YOU'RE the guy who always uses the entire overhead bin for his laptop, jacket, lunchbox and everything so that by the time I get on I have to gate check my bag. I see how it is.

Oh, no. That's not me.
I have my one carry-on up there...
Maybe a camera bag
(because you people insist these TRs have pictures.)
And that's it!

Which begs the question: if the plane were really going down, do you think they'd really mind if you lit up? I mean, if you're going to die anyway, how will make things worse?

Yeah. They still would.
In the unlikely event you survive,
(It does happen from time to time. See Sioux City crash for example.)
it'd be bad for your lungs.
And you just know that some survivor is going to sue
the airline for letting you smoke.

IT'S A BUNNY!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They were robbed!! Reminds me of the time I was competing in a pageant, and I lost points on my Casual Wear because the judge said I used more of a swimsuit modeling style. You really have to wonder about these judges....

All I got from that was blah, blah, blah... "I was competing in a pageant"...
You were in a pageant?!?!???

I've got a real life Beauty Queen reading my TR???





(And yes... judges can be jerks.)

I feel her pain. Growing up a Disney fan, anytime we were in Downtown Disney we always passed the mythical gates to Pleasure Island. I couldn't WAIT for my 18th birthday. And even better, I was actually going to be IN DISNEY on my birthday. I had my night all planned out. And then, two months before...they announced Pleasure Island would be closing. For good. Before I ever turned 18. I'm still mad.

Denied!

Yes

After scrolling back through, I'm gonna guess Inside Out. I thought about Miss Congeniality, but you did say you were a man. Though then you told us to disregard that, so I dunno....but I'll stick with Inside Out.

Tim Horton's

The nice little plug for your private airline? Yes, I saw it

Pupus! Actually, I have no idea, but we have a vendor who offers Hawaii packages and their hold message always says "And enjoy evening pupus on the beach" and I snicker every time.

Noted.

I'm in THIRD!!! WOOHOOO!!! Yes, I'm probably a little too excited over this, but my first thought was that a certain other TR writer could suck it, because I'm still at the bottom over there. Not that I'm competitive or anything.

But!

I would be remiss if I didn't point out that you are not
in fact, in third place.

You're tied for second.