Can you help with words?

[Merandab4]

Since we are having our intimate wedding at Disney and not all of our family and friends will be there, we decided to have an "Open House" when we return. We just bought a house together and very few of our friends and family have seen it yet.
Those family members who are coming to the wedding were already told about the arrangements to see if they would be interested in it. They will then be receiving their formal invitation closer to the wedding. In the meantime I would like a way to announce to our other friends and family what we will be doing as far as the wedding goes. (I do not want my aunts and uncles waiting around for an invitation and then be dissappointed when they find out that only my grandparents are invited to the actual wedding.) It has almost been 4 months since we got engaged, but we haven't really made an official announcement. (Word has just been passed around the family) So do you think it would be okay to send out "engagement announcements" telling people that we got engaged and let them know that we will celebrate with an open house when we return from our destination wedding. Or say something like "please look forward to celebrating with us when we return". (We will than send the open house invitations out at a later date, (maybe as a wedding announcement) What I basically want to do is send something out to the relatives that are not going to the wedding just to let them know formally what is going on. I don't want them to hear all my wedding plans through the family grapevine and never give them an explanation as to why they did not get an invitation to the wedding but instead received an invitation to the open house.
Can you ladies help me out with how to prepare something like this? What is proper wording? Is it too late to send an engagement announcement? My wedding isn't till Sept, but I have the time to work on stuff know so i am trying to get ahead!
Sorry that this post was so long!

 

[Tiggerlover91]

First off:

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEDDING..AND IN DISNEY!!

Here's what you need to understand, no matter what you do, no matter how polite and tactful you are, someone's feelings are going to get hurt because they were not invited to your wedding. I mean come on, you're getting married in Disneyworld...who wouldn't want to be there and use going to a wedding as an excuse.

Disney weddings are VERY expensive...everyone and their mother knows this. If they don't then I want to know what rock they've been living under and to come out before they miss anything else! With big families or for that matter when Disney weddings are concerned, with ANY family, you just CANNOT invite all your dear friends and relatives. If you did, you would probably be paying it for for the rest of your natural born life!

I never was able to have the wedding every young girl wanted. However, I wouldn't take back the courthouse wedding DH and I had for anything! I married my soulmate 13 years ago, and that's all that matters. We are however renewing our vows on our 15th and I considered a Disney vow renewal until I researched the price! NO THANK YOU....I'll just honeymoon in Disney once again as that fits way better into my budget. We are going to have a lovely ceremony on the beach and then honeymoon in Disney once again.

So you asked about your wording: your choice of words was perfect. "please look forward to celebrating with us when we return". I think it's very tactful says enough without saying too much. It's never too late to send out engagement announcements. Send engagment announcements out to everyone, invited to the wedding or not. Then send out your wedding invitations to those you invited. At the same time, send out your open house invitations to those you wish to share your celebration with when you return, and send that same announcement to those going to your wedding. I'm sure they would love to celebrate with you again. Mention nothing about the cost of your wedding to those not invited unless it's mentioned. Someone will say to you or you will hear about someone upset because you only invited them to your open house reception. Very tactfully let them know this was a very expensive ordeal and you had to cut corners somewhere and by limiting the number of guests that's what you did. Don't take it personally okay, it's YOUR day, so don't forget that.

I do hope that I've helped. Let me know if I can give you any other words of wisdom. If you need help writing the invitations, let me know. I've been a writer for more than half of my life, since I was 8 and I'm 34 now, and I'm currently editor of my mom's publishing company.

BEST TO YOU!

DENISE

 

[marn913]

We did not do any type of formal engagement announcement. Although we had a custom wedding, we did not invite a really large number of guests. Our families are both really laid back, so in general we weren't worried about anyone feeling offended if they weren't invited to the actual ceremony. Although this does happen sometimes, I think receiving a formal "engagement announcement" in some ways can imply that an invitation to the actual wedding will be forthcoming. I'd say that since your wedding is in September, your best bet is only to send out actual wedding invitations to the family members who are invited, and at the same time send out a formal invitation to your "reception" at home so that you'll have a guest count ready. We sent out small (homemade) invitations that read something to the effect of "Marne and Michael were married June 16th 2003 at the Walt Disney World Resort.....Please join us for a reception to celebrate on (date/time/location)." I think the word "reception" makes it sound more formal, and makes the event appear more exclusive than if you say it's an open house. Also, make sure to wear your dress again (get your money's worth! - and older relatives will love it.) Most of the time with destination weddings, people don't expect that you will have a large guest list. As long as they get to share in a celebration of the event they are happy. Just be sure if you send out an engagement announcement, that you at minimum invite all of those people to your at-home party. You can also prepare a display of photos (and even show the wedding video if you have one) at your party.

Marne
06-16-03