Bruce Jenner special

[Tiggeroo]

I like the way he seems to be handling this now. However, I read a piece written by his first wife. He did not tell her until they had 2 children. He also spent a good deal of time avoiding his responsibilities financially and otherwise for his children. He seems to have mended that rift but he missed their growing up years, if she is being truthful.

 

[Princess Mulan]

And I am pretty sure you're misreading Diane Sawyer. Her reaction was clearly about how reluctant many Republicans are to publicly support many LGBT issues. Therefore, it surprised her that a transgender man was a Republican. It wasn't that she was surprised that anyone could be Republican.

I agree. Diane Sawyer has a strong connection to the Republican party. Her father was a prominent Republican politician and judge in the state of Kentucky, and Ms. Sawyer was on Nixon's White House staff. She was loyal to Nixon to the end, even traveling with him from the White House to California and helping him write his memoirs. For that reason, I think her reaction was based on something other than her personal political views.

 

[sunshinehighway]

There seems to be an important thing people are dismissing as intolerance. Maybe it's harder for older (not young children) family members to be as accepting because they feel lied to or betrayed in some way.
If your parent tells you they've been living a lie and the person you know isn't the real them, isn't it natural to be confused, angry, hurt?
While I understand why people make the comparison to the treatment of gay people, it's not always a fair comparison.

 

[MPB82]

I'm not going to be able to say I wouldn't feel betrayed and devastated if my husband transitioned and became a woman. It would end the marriage immediately as a direct result of that action. I am a hetero woman and I would not even consider being married to another woman. While the parent/child bond is different and insoluble, as a daughter I would be equally broken-hearted. Husband & father are roles that a woman can't fulfil. As a woman, I want and need a husband and father.

You do realize it is the same person right? If you needed Bruce when he was Bruce he was there. When he becomes her she will still be there. I can understand a husband and wife but father daughter? The fact that you would rather your dad be unhappy and in slacks vs happy with breasts and a dress is sad. If this was my father it would be weird, it would take time to get used to but I would want him to be happy and if it was as a woman so be it. She would still be my dad not a new mom

 

[sunshinehighway]

You do realize it is the same person right? If you needed Bruce when he was Bruce he was there. When he becomes her she will still be there. I can understand a husband and wife but father daughter? The fact that you would rather your dad be unhappy and in slacks vs happy with breasts and a dress is sad. If this was my father it would be weird, it would take time to get used to but I would want him to be happy and if it was as a woman so be it. She would still be my dad not a new mom

Nope I don't understand that at all. When Bruce did the interview and things where said about saying goodbye to Bruce, his last interview as Bruce, meeting her, living a lie...I don't think he's saying he's the same person at all.
You can't have it both ways. He can't say his had to hide who he really is and did things to run from how he really felt because that was what was expected of him and say he's still going to be the same person and his children don't have the right to feel hurt or lied to.

I find it interesting that you think being transgender is as simple as preferring to wear a dress and have boobs.
You can't say I'm now a woman but I'm still your dad. That person who was "dad" was not the real you, it was an act. If you are a woman, you are not a dad.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Nope I don't understand that at all. When Bruce did the interview and things where said about saying goodbye to Bruce, his last interview as Bruce, meeting her, living a lie...I don't think he's saying he's the same person at all.
You can't have it both ways. He can't say his had to hide who he really is and did things to run from how he really felt because that was what was expected of him and say he's still going to be the same person and his children don't have the right to feel hurt or lied to.

I find it interesting that you think being transgender is as simple as preferring to wear a dress and have boobs.
You can't say I'm now a woman but I'm still your dad. That person who was "dad" was not the real you, it was an act. If you are a woman, you are not a dad.

My 18yodd is trans. I will feel no difference toward her if she stays the same or transitions. I want her to be happy with herself.

 

[sunshinehighway]

My 18yodd is trans. I will feel no difference toward her if she stays the same or transitions. I want her to be happy with herself.

That's different than an adult figure, like a parent.
Let me be clear. I absolutely understand gender identity issue are a real thing. I do not think anyone should be discriminated against or abused because of such issues.
I just don't think it's fair to say everyone involved has to be all lollipops and rainbows or they are intolerant, bigoted, whatever.
When you are talking about adults who made certain choices in their lives (like to get married, have children) it's not fair to expect those people to only have lovely positive feelings.

 

[ronandannette]

My 18yodd is trans. I will feel no difference toward her if she stays the same or transitions. I want her to be happy with herself.

You give few details, so please forgive me if I get the personal pronouns wrong. I'm not sure if by referring to a trans DD you mean born a boy and now a girl or born a girl and may transition to a boy.

I would wish your child well also, but I presume at the age of 18 (s)he has not yet made any major life-commitments to another person such as marrying an opposite sex spouse and vowing to be a wife/husband, perhaps bearing or siring children and parenting them as a mother or father. I would hope you, as his/her parent knowing your child is trans would not allow such a set of circumstances to occur. Because what we're discussing here is not the cut-and-dried issue of whether anybody approves/disapproves of gender transitioning or whether or not an individual identifying as trans has a "right to be happy". In Bruce Jenner's case specifically we're talking about the people (3 wives and 10 children) that have had their realities altered beyond anything they ever would have chosen for themselves. And now, as one PP put it, they should just "deal with it". OK, but anybody who imagines that not to be hurtful and difficult beyond belief is being very callous.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

Of course it would be weird and an adjustment. But I don't think I would be angry or hurt at (for example) a parent or partner who transitioned to another gender. I would be angry at the society that forced that person to hide and pretend to be someone he/she was not.

 

[ronandannette]

Of course it would be weird and an adjustment. But I don't think I would be angry or hurt at (for example) a parent or partner who transitioned to another gender. I would be angry at the society that forced that person to hide and pretend to be someone he/she was not.

But "society" didn't force that person to marry you...society can't do that.

 

[anniemae]

When he married and had kids, yes, he made it about everyone, not just himself. Now his actions affect others. I still don't think he was trying to dupe anyone though. He was genuinely attracted to/in love with his wives. I think he thought he could "just live as a man." He must have realized he was in over his head because he said at one point he didn't do anything about his gender because he didn't want to upset his kids when they were young.

I think now, he feels they can handle it. Was it selfish for him to have kids and attempt to live as a man knowing he had these gender issues? Should he have stayed single and not had kids until he figured everything out? I don't know. Maybe he thought he could live his life out as a man and suppress the gender issue. Maybe he realized in his 60's that he needed to live for himself. Your attitudes and outlook are so different at 60 than at 25. I don't think he intended for it to play out this way when he was younger. I think it is more difficult for his younger girls than his older married kids.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

But "society" didn't force that person to marry you...society can't do that.

Not "force" exactly - but if we had been talking openly and comfortably about what it means to be transgender 40 years ago, he might have felt that he could make different choices. Even today there are people out there who tell those who are transgender that they should just get over it and make up their minds to live as the gender they were assigned at birth. Maybe he thought this would "cure" him. It must have been tremendously confusing and difficult for him at a time when trans people were largely seen as jokes or mentally ill. Our choices may not be strictly speaking forced but they are certainly influenced and shaped by the society we live in. By doing these interviews today, perhaps Bruce will make it easier for someone else to be more open and honest, and make better decisions.

 

[ronandannette]

Not "force" exactly - but if we had been talking openly and comfortably about what it means to be transgender 40 years ago, he might have felt that he could make different choices. Even today there are people out there who tell those who are transgender that they should just get over it and make up their minds to live as the gender they were assigned at birth. Maybe he thought this would "cure" him. It must have been tremendously confusing and difficult for him at a time when trans people were largely seen as jokes or mentally ill. Our choices may not be strictly speaking forced but they are certainly influenced and shaped by the society we live in. By doing these interviews today, perhaps Bruce will make it easier for someone else to be more open and honest, and make better decisions.

...and if that is the case, and it prevents future spouses/children from being unintentionally victimized, then I am certainly all for it.

 

[Dawnlight]

I'm glad that there is more acceptance of transgender people today than there was in the past. I can't imagine the struggles Bruce and others face.

Having Bruce speak out and be open about it, as well as blogs like this, help create understanding and compassion.

www.nonconformingmom.com

 

[mjkacmom]

...and if that is the case, and it prevents future spouses/children from being unintentionally victimized, then I am certainly all for it.

When he started having these feelings, people never heard of transgender. Imagine having these confusing feelings 50 years ago. He did what was expected of him - got married (to women he was attracted to), and had kids. I don't think he even knew he was living a lie.

 

[Anesthesia Fine]

I got to admit this whole thing is just to odd and weird for me ( but Im an old white guy, we seem to be the last to change) but I do feel who ever does this kind of thing should never be treated bad or discriminated against

I like your style! Your parenthetical made me laugh.

Good for Bruce Jenner. I can't lie, if my husband or one of my children came out as transgender, it would take some time to adjust, and yeah, I'd have to do some hard thinking about my marriage. But I'd want them to be happy.

I'm not overly impressed in general with the Kardashians or Kanye West, but I'm glad they seem to be supporting him.

 

[sunshinehighway]

When he started having these feelings, people never heard of transgender. Imagine having these confusing feelings 50 years ago. He did what was expected of him - got married (to women he was attracted to), and had kids. I don't think he even knew he was living a lie.

He did in the 80s when he started taking hormones and got implants. According to Linda Thompson his children with her were both under four (3 and 18 months, I think) when he considered having gender reassignment surgery in another country.
He then went on to marry Kris Jenner and have two more children.

 

[LBIJim]

OK, I'm definitely going to hell for posting this, because I do support what he's doing, but I just couldn't suppress a laugh when I ran across this. Lord forgive me.

 

[L107ANGEL]

That is NOT funny!

 

[anniemae]

OK, I'm definitely going to hell for posting this, because I do support what he's doing, but I just couldn't suppress a laugh when I ran across this. Lord forgive me.

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May the force be with you. Seriously though, this was posted on Facebook and the person who posted it was basically skewered and roasted alive. I hope the good folks of the dis go easy on you, it seems you posted it in jest, not because you are mocking him or find his situation funny.