Bare Face = Divorce?

[Tink888]

Men are very visual creatures.

I know many, many women who have let themselves go over time because they get comfortable. Wearing sweatpants all the time, letting the gray hair grow, no makeup, not shaving, old clothes, becoming prudes, and the list goes on and on. Some women simply stop trying. I will never understand this.

While I may not agree that this ends marriages, it could lead men to have wandering eyes.

I agree with this.

I work from home so the majority of the time I am that woman in sweats with no make-up. My husband has never complained or said a word and our marriage is good but I have no doubt that he loves to see me dressed up and with make-up. I feel the same way about him. It's nice to see each other looking our best.

So while I don't think a lack of effort should end a marriage, it certainly can't hurt one to make an effort.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

When a spouse - either one - REALLY lets themselves go, it often extends well beyond a declining appearance. The lack of effort in keeping up appearance can be much easier to tolerate than lack of effort elsewhere.

 

[sam_gordon]

I agree with this.

I work from home so the majority of the time I am that woman in sweats with no make-up. My husband has never complained or said a word and our marriage is good but I have no doubt that he loves to see me dressed up and with make-up. I feel the same way about him. It's nice to see each other looking our best.

So while I don't think a lack of effort should end a marriage, it certainly can't hurt one to make an effort.

Do I *LIKE* seeing my DW "dressed to the 9's"? Sure.
Do I *NEED* to see my DW dressed up to stay married to her? Absolutely not.

 

[robinb]

If that's the case then my marriage should have ended 20 yrs ago. I'm not a big make up wearer...maybe on a special occasion but that is about it.

Yup me too. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary and I believe I wore make up to dinner. I *did* start to wear some tinted moisturizer for a while but even that was too much of a PITB for me, especially when I would rub my eye and suddenly start to tear up.

 

[2disneyboys]

Thanks everyone. It's a relief that there are sane people on the DIS! I wasn't going to actually identify the speaker as I didn't want to send this thread in the wrong direction. . Honestly. I was just so surprised to see o many responders were agreeing with his theory I just had to see if I was crazy or not, lol!

I don't agree with him @ all and I am also a Christian.

I do not waer very much makeup in a regular basis (it annoys me and is time consuming ) I do enjoy looking nice. But that's for myself. It makes me feel good. I am glad my DH accepts me for me!

 

[DisGirlAllie]

"If you can't handle me in sweatpants, you don't deserve me in a wedding dress."

 

[DeaverTex]

If I insisted on Mrs. Tex wearing makeup, or fixing her hair, or dressing fancy, I'd have to get me a doghouse so that I'd have a place to sleep out of the rain. I kinda love the snot out of her anyhow. I knew she was a small town farm girl going in, I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I've always thought she was beautiful. You're free to disagree, of course, but not to my face, 'k?

I'm certainly no prize myself, I ought to trim my beard more often, and I ought to update my own wardrobe. She seems to like me anyhow. At least, she's put up with me for over 36 years.

And Pat Robertson should go suck on a concrete lemon.

 

[EllaM]

If I insisted on Mrs. Tex wearing makeup, or fixing her hair, or dressing fancy, I'd have to get me a doghouse so that I'd have a place to sleep out of the rain. I kinda love the snot out of her anyhow. I knew she was a small town farm girl going in, I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I've always thought she was beautiful. You're free to disagree, of course, but not to my face, 'k?

I'm certainly no prize myself, I ought to trim my beard more often, and I ought to update my own wardrobe. She seems to like me anyhow. At least, she's put up with me for over 36 years.

And Pat Robertson should go suck on a concrete lemon.

Now that's a good response.

Pat Robertson says a lot of stupid things to give us Christians cause for . I think he gets quoted so much just to give reason for others to argue with religious folk.

An intimate relationship like a marriage is based on so much more than physical appearance. This is something we try to teach teenagers and young people over and over. Only thing I can see being remotely related to "letting yourself go" is if you stop trying to nurture your relationships. When couples around me stop talking, you know there is trouble ahead. I know one relationship that went on the rocks because one partner refused to compromise in anything and the other responded by withdrawing to avoid an argument. It happens when one becomes addicted to something as well. As soon as that other thing becomes more important than your relationship, you are in BIG trouble.

 

[punkin]

If I insisted on Mrs. Tex wearing makeup, or fixing her hair, or dressing fancy, I'd have to get me a doghouse so that I'd have a place to sleep out of the rain. I kinda love the snot out of her anyhow. I knew she was a small town farm girl going in, I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I've always thought she was beautiful. You're free to disagree, of course, but not to my face, 'k?

I'm certainly no prize myself, I ought to trim my beard more often, and I ought to update my own wardrobe. She seems to like me anyhow. At least, she's put up with me for over 36 years.

And Pat Robertson should go suck on a concrete lemon.

AMEN!!! What an idiot. DH loves me with or without makeup.

 

[nathalee81]

What a load of bull.

It's insulting to women because it insinuates that the only thing we bring to the marriage is our physical appearance.

It's insulting to men because it's makes them out to be shallow creatures that are incapable of seeing beyond what is visually appealing.

Marriages, the good ones, are based on love and respect. Not whether the woman has the right eye shadow and nice lipstick.

 

[Callie]

I guess this is why I don't have a boyfriend!
I usually let me hair air dry, and put it up in a pony.
Never wear make-up to class unless its presentation day.
I'm also usually in jeans and a tshirt.
Its who I am. I do enjoy getting dressed up and pretty, but not to impress people!

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

Pat Robertson is still alive? News to me!

 

[cabanafrau]

I wonder how many husbands are like mine, most days you'd almost have to light your hair on fire for him to notice a haircut, new outfit, etc. Classic example was after arriving home one night after dinner out, looking at myself in the mirror to realize I had two different earrings on. When I asked him why he didn't mention it after sitting across from me all evening, he seemed surprised I in fact had ears.

Since our relationship is heading on 30 years now & everything seems content, I don't think that the premise of no make-up or woment letting themselves go is a threat every marriage need live in fear of.

 

[kamik86]

I didn't wear makeup or dress up before we started dating, while we were dating, or now. He had 6 years before we married to figure this out lol.

As for my husband I would be happy if I could get him to shave on a regular basis but it won't end the marriage if he doesn't. (He looks good with a small beard but not with a full one, partially due to a scar he got as a kid that although you can't really see the scar his beard doesn't grow there so it looks strange) He will shave if we have any kind of special event to go to though .

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What a sweet guy!

Why women watch him is beyond my comprehension.

 

[disneycrazi]

Consider the source. Just another idiotic thing he has said. I can't believe anyone listens to him and/or takes him seriously.

I rarely wear makeup. My husband STRONGLY prefers that I do not wear makeup. If I was a heavily made up woman, I'm pretty sure he would never have even asked me out.

That being said, I do think BOTH partners in a marriage have an obligation to keep themselves in shape and attractive to the other. It certainly isn't something that falls on the woman alone that's for sure.

Amen! I laughed when I saw who said it. imho he is an idiot and has no clue. Marriages dont fail becuz a woman OR a man changes in appearance. They fail becuz this insane world leaves little time for people to be together and enjoy each other. They fail becuz the communication breaks down. They fail becuz they let the world distract them from the family unit......just my opinion......and once again Pat Robertson is an idiot!!!!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I didn't wear makeup or dress up before we started dating, while we were dating, or now. He had 6 years before we married to figure this out lol.

As for my husband I would be happy if I could get him to shave on a regular basis but it won't end the marriage if he doesn't. (He looks good with a small beard but not with a full one, partially due to a scar he got as a kid that although you can't really see the scar his beard doesn't grow there so it looks strange) He will shave if we have any kind of special event to go to though .

DW bought me an electric razor. I really need to shave daily, but I cut myself to pieces if I do. The electric doesn't do as good of a job, but I can use it daily, plus it's faster. I break out the razor when I need to look nice.

 

[cabanafrau]

I think it's a valid position to say that marriages or relationships decline and become vulnerable when one or both parties start slacking on the things that truly build a relationship, care, concern and support for your spouse; communication; time together, etc. That's a problem that cuts across gender lines and every other kind of distinction. That's a human problem & a whole lot more important a topic of discussion for couples.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I just want to say THANK YOU to all the good men who have replied on this thread. It does my heart good to read these affirmations from some good men!

If I insisted on Mrs. Tex wearing makeup, or fixing her hair, or dressing fancy, I'd have to get me a doghouse so that I'd have a place to sleep out of the rain. I kinda love the snot out of her anyhow. I knew she was a small town farm girl going in, I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I've always thought she was beautiful. You're free to disagree, of course, but not to my face, 'k?

I'm certainly no prize myself, I ought to trim my beard more often, and I ought to update my own wardrobe. She seems to like me anyhow. At least, she's put up with me for over 36 years.

And Pat Robertson should go suck on a concrete lemon.

And Mr. Tex - your post made me laugh and cry some happy tears for you and Mrs Tex at the same time!

 

[njmom47]

I promised to love my dh when he goes bald if he promised to love me when I get fat.
So far, so good....I've put on a few pounds since we've been together, and he wears a baseball cap to hide the bald spot.
But I do wear makeup every day.....maybe that's my saving grace!
ETA Mr. Tex, you cracked me up!