Anyone else here NOT in the holiday spirit?

[powellrj]

I just want the new year to get here, hit the reset button and pray for a better year for everyone in this world. I know so many people right now that are in need of some good news for a change.

Thats what I said last year and this year was worse than last year. Nothing has been small, its been huge life changing things.

I thought for the last 35 years that once I stopped working full-time I would have time for all the things I loved, nope, I just don't have the heart to do anything for the holiday.

I did do my shopping and I wrapped it all today because the cable was out so I had no TV or internet all day.

I told DH I don't have the heart to put up a tree, send out card, bake a cookie. I hope I perk up.

 

[BearcatsFan]

to everyone.

I can't seem to find the spirit either. I injured my ankle right before our trip to WDW in September, and it still hasn't healed. I finally, after much searching, found a great podiatrist who really seems to care. I've been in and out of a soft cast for 3 weeks now. Had to cancel today's appointment, though, because the bills are piling up with no end in sight. The ER wants their share, the ortho wants his share, my primary care doctor wants his share, the imaging center wants their share, and the podiatrist hasn't even started sending bills yet.

On top of that, our insurance is changing to a HD/HSA plan as of the first of the year. Yippee.

We went out and got our tree this past weekend. It's up and decorated. The lights are up outside. I'm trying, really trying, because my husband loves Christmas, and normally this is my favorite time of year. I've been listening to Christmas music and watching every movie and tv special that comes on, but I can't seem to get in the spirit.

I haven't bought a single gift, haven't cracked open the box of cards, nada. I did buy the candy and pretzels for making the gifts for our neighbors, so I guess that's something, right?

 

[doxdogy]

Me too. Forced out of my job in February. Finally found a job and the 8 weeks into the job, I had to have emergency surgery. Out of work for six weeks (without pay). Thankfully they did not fire me. Then the mom of a friend passed away in July.

Now comes the inevitable expectation of family members expecting us to travel to their house. I told DH next year we are leaving town.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I'm not either.

It has been a tough year for me. So I've been generally unhappy. No Christmas Cheer here.

We've been adjusting to being a civilian family again. No one pays our rent here lol.

We moved to NY. As a native Floridian this is a huge thing for me! We are also buying our first home which comes with it's own set of issues.(Plus our current living situation is not ideal.)

I also found out the day before yesterday that DH will be going back to AIT in order to re-class for his Reserves MOS. That leaves me alone in the dead of winter for the first time. I have never driven in snow or ice... Never shoveled. Should be awesome.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

I'm there with you. My father died suddenly in May. My mom died 11 years ago. They were 66 and 54 so relatively young I am only 42 and have no parents and it's hitting me very hard right now just like it did all those first holidays after my mom died.

Faking it for the kids pretty much. Thank goodness for my husband otherwise not much would be happening here.

 

[threeboysmom]

I'm with you.

Too much going on with my life to really feel any sort of holiday spirit.

 

[Terry36]

I'm with you.

Too much going on with my life to really feel any sort of holiday spirit.

MTE!!! Sigh

 

[DVCJones]

I'm going through the motions too this year. A lot on my plate and way too much to think about. It is hard to enjoy the season when you have so much on the mind. If it weren't for my kids, I probably wouldn't even have the tree up.

 

[carrie1626]

I am really struggling with the holiday season this year.

I posted on the other thread (how you would grade this past year) about the terrible year this has been. I am still having a hard time coping with the death of my best friend. We had so many traditions we would do together this month for the holiday. I don't feel like celebrating. DH and I have barely any decorations up right now. We do have to put some up as we host Christmas Eve every year, but I just feel like doing the bare minimum.

I also feel terribly guilty because my kids love the Christmas season, and I'm just not into it this year.

Anyone else having a hard time with the holidays right now? If so, my thoughts are with you.

Thanks for listening.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I imagine everything is different because you are beginning the" life after....".

I have one thing to offer that I learned from someone else that attended a support group. Don't try to hide the sadness, instead take one or two of those traditions and honor your friend while doing them. This might mean being completely by yourself so you can "talk" to her, or maybe asking your spouse or children to help you accomplish..... because its something you and your friend did and it's still important to you.
God Bless.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I just wanted to send some Hugs to all of you suffering at this time. I hope that things turn around for you in a positive way, very soon. Its a difficult time of year for many, you are not alone! talking and grieving and sharing helps!

 

[Rylee]

I'm trying really hard to find some Christmas spirit, I really am.

My Mom died last year, 3 days before Thanksgiving. We have 5 kids, including a 10 & 13 y/o, so we did put up a tree and buy gifts, but that was it. Everyone told me this year would be worse because I was still in shock last year but this year it would really hit me. It has been an extremely sad year for me/us, my children were very close to her, too.

I lost one of my closest friends in Mar. 2010, (then her husband was tragically killed in a car crash 1 month and 1 day later) my step-father died in Dec. 2010, then my Mom last Nov. Thank God for my wonderful husband, (his Mom died the day after Xmas in 2000) and children because it feels as though my world has been pulled right out from under me.

Throw in that my SiL's cause drama at Xmas every year, and they decided that just because we buried my Mom Thanksgiving weekend, would be no exception last year, so we haven't spoken to either of them since then. I'm really hoping they'll just leave us alone this year.

I just need a "breather." I wish everything... sports games, work, grocery shopping, family commitments, DH's gigs, appointments, everything, could just stop for a little bit so I could catch my breath. Although, I am also keenly aware that those are the very things that force me out of bed every morning and keep me going and that's a good thing, otherwise I might pull the covers over my head and stay in bed... permanently.

I'll get through the holidays, I just need to find a new normal (because I am, and my life is, different now) but with life changing so quickly, it's hard to feel secure.

Wishing everyone strength, hope and peace, now and always.


*One of the little things we do... I set a picture of DH's parents, (his Dad has also passed) on a stand in the dining room, and next to it dangling on an ornament stand, we have an ornament with the Merry Christmas From Heaven poem. (I didn't want to place the ornament on the tree and have it just blend in with all the others.) On the wall mirror above the stand, I hang small porcelain angels from the top corners, and behind the photos on the stand, I place a battery candle to create a soft glow around the pictures, which we keep lit the entire holiday season. On Christmas eve and day, I light a real candle.

Last year, I added my mother's picture and a beautiful snow globe with the, If Tears Could Build A Stairway, poem.

It looks nice and it's one small way to include them and honor their memory during the holidays.



"Merry Christmas From Heaven"

"I love you all dearly
Now don't shed a tear
I'm spending my Christmas
With Jesus this year."

"If Tears Could Build A Stairway."

If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane,
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Just can't muster the spirit this year. MIL went in the hosp the week after Tgiving. She's now in rehab and won't ever be going home again. We have guardianship of her so now we have to alter our plans for a quiet holiday together to go to KS, help get her settled in assisted living (which trust me she WON'T LIKE ONE BIT) and now I won't get to go see my daddy in WA state. Whom I haven't seen in almost 8 years. Because we have to go deal with Mummy. I don't begrudge her, we took on this responsibility when we took guardianship but we made the mistake of letting her stay at home against our better judgement. We knew then it wouldn't work. We're actually stunned she made it this long. I'm torn between my feelings of love and sympathy for Mummy (MIL) and my anger at her for being so stubborn and fighting us so hard on assisted living earlier this year. Had we been stronger or she'd been easier to deal with, I'd be spending the holidays with my Daddy, who has no one but me.

 

[Agent7]

Luckily I havent had any major tragedy in my life recently, condolences to you that have. But I'm so not even thinking about the holidays. I'm in my last semester of college and should be graduating on December 15th, but (counting the two exams I took toady/yesterday/whatever) I have 4 exams and a lab report before then. Two exams today, lab report tomorrow, and finals on Tuesday. Then graduation rehearsal, getting robes, and directing relatives. So I haven't thought past much next Tuesday, honestly.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Luckily I havent had any major tragedy in my life recently, condolences to you that have. But I'm so not even thinking about the holidays. I'm in my last semester of college and should be graduating on December 15th, but (counting the two exams I took toady/yesterday/whatever) I have 4 exams and a lab report before then. Two exams today, lab report tomorrow, and finals on Tuesday. Then graduation rehearsal, getting robes, and directing relatives. So I haven't thought past much next Tuesday, honestly.

Congratulations!!! That's a lot to be proud of and you still have time to get into the Christmad mood.

I am trying to do better. I have been putting off decorating the outside of the house but I made myself do it today. It did help make me feel a little better.

 

[AnOtHeRdIsNeYfReAk]

I don't want to do Christmas this year either. Every year my family gets smaller and smaller. Over the last several years I lost my brother, sister, both grandmas, father, uncle, two aunts and two very good friends. Through almost all of it I've had my boyfriend to hold me together. We were together 6 years until he was killed in a car accident this past August. I just don't have it in me to pretend to be in the Christmas mood. I'm working the evening shift at the hospital this year, and I might volunteer to work a double.

 

[Planogirl]

I have so much going on and so many people pulling me in different directions that I'm not excited about the holidays either. I'd love to just go somewhere, anywhere to get away. Maybe next year...

 

[MissManda]

I'm having a really hard time getting into the spirit this year. We have our tree up, but that is it. I've barely done any shopping this year and really am not motivated to even start.

I can't even say that I have an excuse or a reason for being in the mood I'm in. The only thing I can think of is that really nothing seems to be a big surprise this year. My 15 yo already pretty much knows what he's getting so it won't be a big surprise for him this year. My parents asked for no gifts this year. My parents along with aunts and uncles made the decision that we weren't doing a family gift exchange this year (only buy for immediate family). I guess I just don't see much fun this year. Even my work has decided not to do an office gift exchange (we usually do a form of dirty santa). We got a Christmas card from the in-laws last night. The only note on the inside was "sorry we didn't see you at Thanksgiving. You missed a good dinner". No Merry Christmas or anything like that. Just a guilt trip. Well, I'm sorry we were sick and didn't want to infect anyone else with our germs and stayed home.

And yes, I know that the true spirit of Christmas isn't about the gifts. But, when so many people around me appear to be scrooges, it does make it harder.

 

[Terry36]

I'm having a really hard time getting into the spirit this year. We have our tree up, but that is it. I've barely done any shopping this year and really am not motivated to even start.

I can't even say that I have an excuse or a reason for being in the mood I'm in. The only thing I can think of is that really nothing seems to be a big surprise this year. My 15 yo already pretty much knows what he's getting so it won't be a big surprise for him this year. My parents asked for no gifts this year. My parents along with aunts and uncles made the decision that we weren't doing a family gift exchange this year (only buy for immediate family). I guess I just don't see much fun this year. Even my work has decided not to do an office gift exchange (we usually do a form of dirty santa). We got a Christmas card from the in-laws last night. The only note on the inside was "sorry we didn't see you at Thanksgiving. You missed a good dinner". No Merry Christmas or anything like that. Just a guilt trip. Well, I'm sorry we were sick and didn't want to infect anyone else with our germs and stayed home.

And yes, I know that the true spirit of Christmas isn't about the gifts. But, when so many people around me appear to be scrooges, it does make it harder.

I agree with the bolded 100%.

I love this holiday, from decorating, baking, and shopping but it's so hard when I'm doing everything myself. DH and DD13 are not into it at all... SCROOGES!

 

[starwatcher]

Not really in the christmas spirit. I had to go across the united states from tx to Nc cause my father in law is very sick. He needs a quadruple byass and we do not know how long we are going to be here cause DH mom is wheelchair bound and needs help while father in law is in hospital.
My father is home alone in Tx and the anniversary of my mom's death is coming up also her birthday. She passed in dec 1998 and her birthday was the 22 of dec. Dad also misses his lil pumpkin who is with us in Nc . I mean his grandchild is the reason he has been more in the christmas spirit the past 4 years.

There is no tree up and most of em's presents are in tx I am just like blah

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Right now, I'm not. We aren't decorating, it's just Dh and I and we really don't care. I am having surgery on my ankle on Dec 17th and won't be able to get around much. I really just don't even care.

We are going to Atlanta tomorrow for out Anniversary and I want to see some of the lights downtown, and I feel sort of in the spirit in the moment, but it doesn't really change the way I'm feeling in general.

I lost my mom 4 years ago and things just haven't been the same. Dh is losing his job in January due to the company closing, that doesn't help my outlook.