another WWYD

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by cepmom, Oct 5, 2012.

  1. cepmom

    cepmom <font color=red>Mine are painted too<br><font colo

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    Of course I realize she could have just not said anything, I'm not angry her dd has lice! I appreciate that she told me, I was just taken back a little that she seemed to have an attitude when I told her dd couldn't go, after she told me the decision was up to me. And yes I realize that lice can be picked up anywhere, you can't really control it but to me it's different than sending your child away for 3 days with someone known to have just been treated.
     
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  3. OceanAnnie

    OceanAnnie <font color=maroon>I guess I have a thing against

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    No. No. No. Why take the risk? Rain check!
     
  4. Erin1700

    Erin1700 <font color=purple>At least I am bragging about us

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    No way!
     
  5. mickeyboat

    mickeyboat <font color=660099>Nothing like the cream and choc

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    I might. I would need to know that the mother was picking / combing her DD's hair thoroughly and repeatedly to get out all the nits.

    DD13 had it several years ago, and I spent 6 hours the first day picking, 2 hours for the next two days, and an hour each day until I retreated with the shampoo. I didn't find many after the first two days, but I still took the time to check.

    We also cleaned the house thoroughly once, changed her sheets and blankets every day, and vacuumed her room and mattress and our couches and floors every day for a week. We also kept her out of the bedrooms other than hers.

    No one else in our family got it.

    If I knew that the mother had taken the proper measures, I might allow my DD to go.
     
  6. HM

    HM My tag from the Tag Fairy is now too long to use.

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    I think you should tell your DD why you aren't sending her. It's not fair to you to look like the bad guy for no reason. Lice is a pretty common thing in schools and kids are not ostracized by others for having it (at least in my experience....DD had them twice).
     
  7. cepmom

    cepmom <font color=red>Mine are painted too<br><font colo

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    I'm not sure Of her plans to comb through her DD's hair each day until the 2nd treatment...she didn't want the other girls to know about it, so I'm not sure how she'd comb through the girls hair all weekend without the friends knowing ?
     
  8. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

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    Bingo - I'm guessing she won't. The last time dd9 got it, and had it professionally removed, her friend had it too. Her mom wasn't that concerned, did the treatment, combed a bit. I let my dd play with her outside, but even after warning dd about not letting their heads get close together, it was a constant (private) reminder (they both knew each other had it - in their group of friends, if someone gets it, they let others know - otherwise, other kids might have it, never know, and everyone gets infected again).

    Girls just seem to be all over each other.
     
  9. StephMK

    StephMK DIS Veteran

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    I agree and it depends on the ages of the girl. If I were the mom in question, I would have just re-scheduled and solved the whole problem. I would not want to be responsible for potentially passing it around.

    My oldest got them from daycare many years ago and while it was a huge pain, the rest of our family and her BFF never got them.

    A lot would depend on sleeping conditions and the types of activities the girls would be doing. I would want the girls to be aware though because you can't police them all the time and you don't want them doing each other's hair over the weekend or sharing brushes, hats, etc.

    I don't blame you for not sending her though. They are not fun to deal with!
     
  10. luvsJack

    luvsJack DIS Veteran

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    Make that two! I would let dd go.

    Having dealt with lice with not only my own kids, but in the child care setting too, I just don't get as wound up about as some people do.

    I am always surprised in these threads the lengths some go to get rid of the things. We never had that much of a problem with it. Shampoo once and wash everything in the house in hot water (if it's in the bedroom or has been laid on and can't be washed--it goes either in a hot dryer or gets bagged up for a day or two) Comb with the nit comb a couple of times and use the shampoo again. Never did we have to do anything after that.

    BTW, if by some chance you do send your dd, have her keep her hair in a ponytail and spray liberally with hair spray. Helps keep them away.
     
  11. Mkrop

    Mkrop <font color=coral>I just cant go on demand<br><fon

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    I think it is irresponsible of the mother not to have informed the school. That is how this gets spread. One year it was spread on the bus, the girls were seat mates and other than that, had no contact with each other.

    I think the mom should have rescheduled.
     
  12. Ginny Favers

    Ginny Favers <font color=green>I told my husband I think they m

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    I've dealt with lice in my own family, and I know that after that first comb-out and treatment, we'd pretty much bagged, dried, and vacuumed in such an obsessive way that I was pretty comfortable we'd nipped the problem in the bud.

    But I can't be sure that other families know enough or would do the same. There is a lot of lice ignorance out there, and for all the people who overreact, there are plenty who underreact. No matter how many times you go through it, it's still a massive pain to get rid of. I wouldn't risk it.
     
  13. leebee

    leebee DIS Veteran

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    I wouldn't let her go. The year my then-8yo DD started at Montessori, she had lice three times in one semester. There was one family who wouldn't treat, just combed, and weren't terribly diligent about it. Everyone was repeatedly re-infected. Having lice is gross; ever see bugs run across your child's scalp? It's a royal pain in the behind to have to deal with lice, and you don't want to have to go there if it's avoidable.

    I'd tell my kid why she couldn't go. I'd ask her not to gossip about it, but I am not going to be the one to arbitrarily tell her she can't go. Why would she trust me again?
     
  14. Tinker'n'Fun

    Tinker'n'Fun <font color=purple>"apple", peaches, "pumpkin pie"

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    No I wouldn't let my child go, but why did you lie to your child. Lice is not something to be ashamed of and you want your daughter to know not to share a comb with the child right now.

    I would tell her the truth and also let her know she is not to tell anyone at the request of the young girl. Remind her how she would feel if people were talking about her.

    I would also make sure to still give the young lady her birthday gift and think of doing something with your daughter if you can like a movie or a trip to the mall.

    Teaching your child about trust and compassion are important and this situation will help you to use both as a teaching moment.
     
  15. Southernmiss

    Southernmiss <font color=green>I am hazed everyday<br><font col

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    Dd has very thick, wavy hair and a tender head. Until she donated her hair, it was very long. We went through lice twice. Not fun. 2 hours of nit picking and combing at night for days and washing, vacuuming everything.

    DD had a sleep over in January. When a mom was picking up her daughter, she mentioned that she had just learned that step children at the daughter's dad's house had had lice. :scared1:

    I immediately washed and combed DDs hair to be sure she was lice free.

    Call me OCD, but it's not fun to deal with at my house. DD now wears a ponytail daily and knock wood we haven't had to deal with lice in a couple of years.
     
  16. cepmom

    cepmom <font color=red>Mine are painted too<br><font colo

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    I didn't lie to her...at the moms request, I didn't tell DD that her friend had head lice. I told DD that someone in their home was contagious and I didn't want to risk her getting it too. I didn't say who or what because I was trying to honor a request. I felt it was up to the friend to tell my DD If she felt okay with it.

    The girl talked a little about it today and told DD that the nurse checked her head yesterday and said she was good. I explained to DD that i didn't feel comfortable taking any chances and she agreed with me after I explained what we would have to do if she did get lice.

    The girl knows at this point not to share combs or hug or whatever. Another friend tried to hug her yesterday and she immediately backed off and told the hugger she wasn't feeling well and not to get close.

    Apparently the other girls are still going and while DD was a little disappointed, she understood why she wasn't going.
     
  17. Tinker'n'Fun

    Tinker'n'Fun <font color=purple>"apple", peaches, "pumpkin pie"

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    I hope I didn't come across rude, as that was not my intention. I just was upset that this mother thought it was okay for you not to tell your daughter the truth. It rubbed me the wrong way. I just pointed it out in case of the comb/hat situation.

    I taught my daughter not to share also, but at that age they sometimes "forget", like hair ties, cute hats, and such.

    I am sorry if my post was upsetting.
     
  18. Kellydelly

    Kellydelly DIS Veteran

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    No way. It can take wks to get rid of nits, which will keep hatching live lice during the process. I think the mother should have rescheduled the party. Getting rid of lice is not a two day process.
     
  19. Mom-to-2-Princesses

    Mom-to-2-Princesses Lovin' It!

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    You did the right thing! I was on the opposite side of the fence a few years back when my child was turning 8. She got them (as well as my other daughter and myself) about 3 days before her Birthday party. They were nasty and soooooo time consuming.

    We rescheduled the party to two weeks later. Most people were fine with it. I did have one family that refused to have contact with any of us for a month! (it was summer)

    It took as at least two days of treatments with major time for nit picking, and then we spent about an hour each night after that rechecking and re-combing.

    I know it's tough when something medical happens when you have an event you want to attend or have. To be honest, I get a little tired of people justifying their position to make it work for them and not thinking about others.

    Have a fun weekend with your daughter!
     
  20. cepmom

    cepmom <font color=red>Mine are painted too<br><font colo

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    No worries! Really, I just wanted to clarify what I told my DD. I'm also annoyed by the moms request to not tell my DD. I mean, I understand why she didn't want me to tell her, but at the same time, I feel like it put me in a awkward position.

    When I told her Dd wasn't going, she seemed offended and I tried to explain my position on not wanting to take the risk, and also the position I was in having to tell Dd she wasn't going but not being able to tell her why. She was told me to just go ahead and tell DD then, but I could tell she was just annoyed/mad/whatever with me and I wanted I respect the birthday girls feelings.

    I'm still a little flustered by the response I got by the mom... She said you could Get lice anywhere an that it's a good thing dd wasn't going so in cAse she does get lice somewhere I won't be able to say it came from them. Okay...

    I do feel like the responsible thing to do would
    Be to reschedule for another time, that's what I would have done, but whatever.
     
  21. robinb

    robinb DIS Veteran

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    I feel so sorry for the birthday girl! And YOU who is now the "bad guy" because you promised not to tell your DD that the friend has lice. Your explanation was perfect! That being said, I would probably let my DD go as long as they don't touch heads or share brushes, etc.

    It all depends on your school district. If it's "nit free" then yes, they all need to be combed out. If it's like my DD's school district it's just live lice that gets a kid sent home. I too learned the hard way that the lice treatments don't work. Two months and 3 RID treatments later we (yes, my DD shared :rolleyes2) had lice. Then, I and found a method called "The Lice Program" http://www.microscopy-uk.org.uk/theliceprogram/index.html which works on combing out live lice on a scheduled basis. You are NOT combing and nit picking every single day which is a relief for both parents and children. You are getting rid of each successive wave of lice until you get them all. And honestly, I could not comb the nits out of my own hair anyway.
     

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