Handbag Lady, usually we are invited down. It is usually because of a birthday, holiday that we are down there and she has always asked and assumed we would stay with her. But I have to admit that since we moved 2 hours away, we still have our doctors and dentists down there. We try to make it a day trip but she will ask us to stay overnight. But we are thinking of changing our doctors now and that would be a little less intrusion. I am getting alot of good ideas to help my daughter and myself.