Ok DD is going to be 11, she was diagnosed with Epilepsy 3 years ago. She also has ADHD and more recently Tourettes. She is currently on Keppra and Lamictal for her Epilepsy and has been seizure free for 2 years. She takes Clonidine to help her sleep at night. She is also on the Daytrana Patch for the ADHD. Ok, the patch has been working great!! Her grades at school have stablized, all A's & B's. She isn't classified in school, but does have a 504. She needs to have more time on tests, little things. We have had issues at home with her finishing her homework, it takes forever. She also doesn't finish her work at school. When she comes into school without her work completed, she needs to go to lunch detention. She never has me sign the detention papers, and gets into more trouble. She has been having frequent meltdowns, where she claims she isn't melting down. Right now my DH is on the phone with the Principal (a real A$$, he called me first on my cell for some reason, and he just had such a nasty attitude and tone). My cell was dying, so I had him call dh, now I was im'ing wtih DH during the call, so DH is handling this right now. It seems that DD needed more time to finish a test. Well she refused to leave the classroom to do so. She is now defying her teachers. I don't know if this is her meds, her just being pre teen and defiant or is it hormones due to the onset of puberty or ???? We just started her in counseling, the second session is Saturday. We have run out of punishments, I have yelled, spanked, no tv, no computer, no everything. The only thing we can us on her now is her SIMS game, that kinda seems to get her to do what we want. I am holding new clothes (already bought) over her head, she can't get it until she goes through her old clothes. She wanted the new pj's, so she cleaned out her PJ draw, same thing with shirts. She wants her new skorts, but hasn't gone through that draw yet. Now, on to DS6. He is ADHD, wow, emphasis on the H. He has been doing pretty well on Focalin, he is paying attention in school and doing very well. The problem is his behavior or his acting out when teased or not getting his way. The kids in his class (private school, new shcool for him, all the other kids(5) are good freinds), can be very very mean to him and pick on him. He lashes out and meltsdown. He tends to repeat himself over and over again (we are not sure if he has OCD), and if he thinks something should be ABC, but is done CBA, he can't cope. He says it HAS to be done the other way. We are in the process of talking to the child study team at his new school, so he can be appropriately placed, and evaluated when he starts in September. I just don't know what to do, neither does DH. I am even more frustrated, since I already raised 2 sons (22 & 23), and never had these sorts of problems with them. They weren't perfect, but nothing like this. And my MIL thinks they are normal, and we are over reacting, and they shouldn't be medicated. She thinks if I kept the house neat (yes, it is a mess, too much stuff), that order will help the kids. She doesn't understand why I yell so much. Side note, we were all in Philly last weekend, to go to the Tut exhibit, and DS was being his usual self at dinner, and man was I smiling to myself watching MIL loose patience with him. Now my DH and his brother were probably ADHD too, it was diagnosed back then, and MIL is a retired NYC special ed teacher, so her reasonings are beyond me. Ok, any advice from any other parents with these sort of issues?? BTW, I have really done my best to stop yelling. IF dd doesn't do her hw, I say, well you are the one that is going to fail not me. I do my best to explain to her, but I am not fighting with her to do her school work. And I have offered incentives. I told her last year, for every honor roll she achieved I would buy her a new American Girl Doll. It didn't work. Any advice????