You know, its always been said that reality is stranger than fiction. Every now and then the Universe just has to hit us over the head to prove the point. Its always a painful lesson, and one I learned many years ago, but the cosmos is simply insistent Disneys ABC Network has just sent out a gushing press release about its plans for the May ratings sweeps. ABC is already stuck in fourth place and this represents theyre last chance to gain any kind of positive movement at all. With the stakes so high they are basing their last, best hope on Bloobers. Yes, thats right: bloopers. Things get kicked off on April 28th (the start of the sweeps period ) with ABCS 50th ANNIVERSARY BLOOPER CELEBRATION, PART 1. Its going to be a fun filled hour hosted by **** Clark and featuring ABCs biggest stars from the past 50 years. Well be treated to bloopers from show such as Bossom Buddies, McHales Navy, 8 Simple Rules, Happy Days and The Soupy Sales Show. But wait thats right, on the following Monday we get ABCS 50th ANNIVERSARY BLOOPER CELEBRATION, PART 2 which will features outtakes from shows such as Donny and Marie, The Lawrence Welk Show, According to Jim, The Pat Boone Chevy Showroom, The Practice, Tennessee Ernie Ford Christmas Special, Too Close for Comfort, and Laverne & Shirley. In a move that must be meant to prove the magical® synergy of Disney, the night before we will have the chance to see ESPNS BLUNDERFUL WORLD OF SPORTS hosted by Jim Belushi. The press release describes this show as ESPNs one-hour special featuring blunders that both surprise and amaze and make the wide world of sports truly wonderful. The laugh-packed telecast counts down the top 10 blunder classics from major and not-so-major sports. That show will be followed by TIM ALLEN PRESENTS: A USERS GUIDE TO HOME IMPROVEMENT which is described as Tim Allen presents his own favorite clips and show bloopers, and shares personal reflections while referring to his handbook, A Users Guide to Home Improvement.. I guess this is slightly different since its a blooper show and a plug for the book all in one. And just in case you havent had your fill of bloopers yet, Disney is unveiling ALL ABC BLOOPERS on May 12. This show promises to be really different because it will be hosted by **** Clark and features funny out-takes from popular ABC shows and local newscasts from around the United States. Using film and tape segments, viewers will be treated to bleeped ad-libs, forgotten lines and uncontrollable laughter from some of ABCs favorite stars. Well also be treated to a very special two hour AMERICAS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS SEASON FINALE where One lucky finalists life will change forever when the votes are submitted and tallied to choose the $100,000 grand prize winner. This episode includes a special Mothers Day tribute. How nice for dear old mom. Amazing as it sounds; ABC will actually try and get some non-blooper programming during the month. They include two hour season finales for Alias, The Practice, and The Bachelor and special one hour finales for The World According to Jim and My Wife and Kids. The big movie events are Forest Gump, Chariles Angels, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, The Diary of Ellen Rimbaur (a prequel to Stephen Kings Rose Red) and Eloise at the Plaza (based on the childerns books). I had heard that Disney was planning the network premier of Pearl Harbor for this period but it seems like those plans were changed. Non-blooper specials include The Bachelor: The Women Tell All, ABCs 50th Anniversary Celebration (three hours on May 19), and the Daytime Emmy Awards. I happened to be clicking past a show the other night where someone made the comment that a drunk monkey could win at a slot machine. Sadly, the same can not be said about programming a television network. One truly has to wonder what is going on inside Disneys headquarters these days.