Chapter 10: A Tribute To All Nations, But Mostly America.
Ever since I started writing trip reports, it’s affected the way I travel. I never used to take photos of meals before. It’s still not a huge priority to me, but it’s something I wouldn’t even have thought of until I started writing these things. There are many times when we’re visiting a certain place that I’ll notice something quirky or funny and think, “Oh, this will get some laughs when I write about it,” or something along those lines. Conversely, sometimes I’ll encounter a situation where I’ll how wonder how I could ever make it interesting to another reader.
But every once in a while, I encounter that rare situation where the heavens align. The muse is fully present, and inspiration strikes like a bolt of lightning. The situation is so right that I only need to be present to observe it. If I listen closely, I can hear the trip report chapter practically writing itself.
Hang on. This chapter needs some background music.*
*--Apologies in advance to my Canadian and German readers.
“Fourscore and seven years ago, our forefathers brought forth a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.” – Abraham Lincoln
The United States of America, while still a relatively young nation, has a proud history of monumental achievements. Some would say it stems from our Founding Fathers, who crafted such a brilliant governmental system in writing our Constitution. The creation of that system allowed for such freedom and opportunity that any ordinary citizen, released from the shackles of government oppression, could pursue his or her dreams with a zeal heretofore unmatched in any society in the world. Americans heeded the call of opportunity, and excelled.
We would not be denied the right to govern our own country independently. And when the greatest army in the world tried to stop us, we formed a ragtag, untrained army of our own—and won our independence! And then, just a couple of decades later, that same army challenged us once more…and once more, we rose to the occasion and defeated them. When Thomas Jefferson completed the Louisiana Purchase and needed men to explore the vast, uncharted territory, seeking water passage to the Pacific, we only needed two men to accomplish the feat. (Yes, I know that water passage didn’t actually exist, but still.)
“America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination, and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.” – Harry S Truman
When we decided we wanted a railroad that ran all the way from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific, we rolled up our sleeves and got it done. Are you thankful for the ability to fly anywhere in the world in a matter of hours? Thank the Wright Brothers, Americans who conquered the skies. Do you like being able to light up your house at night? Thank Thomas Edison, an American. Do you enjoy the convenience of microwaveable instant meals? Thank Mssrs. Stouffer and Swanson, Americans, probably.
We brought the world the cotton gin, the steam engine, the washing machine, the television, and the Chia Pet. We invented baseball, invented basketball, and stole the name of football to describe a completely different sport. Rumor has it we even created disco music on a dare.
“I wake up in the morning and I p--- excellence.” – Ricky Bobby
It was the United States that first introduced the idea of National Parks. They say never to fight a war on two fronts, but in World War II, we did just that, and won! (Fine, with the help of several other nations, if you want to be picky.) In the 1960’s, we looked at the moon and decided, “We’re putting a man up there.” And we did it, with the help of computers with far less power than the phone in your pocket! In fact, we invented that phone in your pocket! We turned back Communist oppression in the Cold War! We conquered supersonic speed! Heck, when we lost a basketball game in the Olympics, we changed the rules in order to allow our professionals to play so we’d never lose again!
George Washington. Abraham Lincoln. Frederick Douglass. The guy who invented the air-cannon that shoots hot dogs and t-shirts into the crowd at sports events. Henry Ford. Teddy Roosevelt. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The Mythbusters. Whoever first thought to deep-fry a Twinkie. Pioneers, all of them.
All of this innovation, achievement, and American exceptionalism culminated in 1987 in Alliance, Nebraska, when a towering icon named Jim Reinders made a decision, the ramifications of which thundered throughout the cultured world and still echo today. Mr. Reinders looked out on a flat, nondescript field. He didn’t see wheat, or corn, or even dusty barren grass. He saw opportunity. He saw art. He saw his crowning achievement.
He saw a full-scale replica model of Stonehenge. Made out of junked vintage automobiles. With a 1962 Cadillac Coupe De Ville serving as the heelstone.
And this great American gave the world—us—
Carhenge.
Our journey took us south, into the state of Nebraska.
We had a four-hour drive ahead of us, through nothing but rolling, empty sand hills. Not much to talk about there, as we plunged straight into the heartland of America. But even here, in the middle of nothingness, we saw signs of the greatness that awaited us down the road. Those same visionaries who created a towering work of art in the Nebraska prairie saw to it that any pilgrims making the journey would not lack for the comforts of home along the way.
After a restful break, we drove just a few more miles down the road to the northern outskirts of the sleepy town of Alliance, Nebraska. We pulled into a nondescript gravel parking lot. And there it was, simply laid out in front of us, basking in its own majesty. It needed no introduction. No fancy visitor center. This hallowed ground simply needed to be experienced.
Simply breathtaking, isn’t it? Words simply cannot describe this achievement. The kids were overcome with joy, either at finally being able to see this place with their own eyes or at being able to get out of the van for a few minutes.
Or maybe it was the chance to let off some steam by pretending to Hulk out.
You might think that Mr. Reinders built his ode to Stonehenge and called it a day, but you’d be wrong. This is more than just a replica piece. This place is a museum of modern art. Walking paths lead you around the various pieces by heretofore-undiscovered artistic geniuses.
Such as this thing:
And, uh, this thing:
Overwhelmed by the stunning beauty and awe-inspiring scale of this sacred place, we lingered and soaked in its majesty for…oh, I’d say a good ten minutes. But moments like this transcend time. Indeed, if you asked Julie, she’d probably have said it felt like time itself was standing still. Later, we took advantage of the convenient restrooms in the gift shop. (Of course they have a gift shop.)
We finally had to tear our eyes away and head down the road once more. I looked in the rear view mirror at my children, with their eyes glazed over as they stared at the screens of their electronic devices, and I knew that their lives had been irrevocably changed forever. Carhenge had rendered them speechless, I was sure of it. It took me a moment to clear my throat, and find my voice, before I could ask the kids what they thought of this place.
“It really was something,” said Sarah.
“I’m glad they had a bathroom,” said Scott.
Dave ignored us and played a game on his iPod.
Drew asked for a cookie.
And that, my friends, is why we travel.
There was still more to see near the end of this day, although I fear it will feel underwhelming given all that has come before. Late in the day, we approached the town of Scottsbluff in western Nebraska.
Scotts Bluff National Monument is on the southwest side of the town.
Scotts Bluff was a major landmark on the Oregon Trail. After traveling hundreds of seemingly endless miles across the flat Great Plains, travelers would be relieved to see the bluff standing high, signifying that they were finally just about done with Nebraska. Oddly, this same experience is reported by drivers heading west through this area today.
As we approached the monument, we entered the gate and could see dark clouds forming to the west. There’s a short road that leads to the top of the bluff, and we decided to drive up right away so we could see the view before the storm hit.
Looking east:
And to the west:
At this point, we could see lightning strikes in that direction, but we tried and failed to capture any of them on camera.
After another 10-minute McVisit, the winds started picking up so we high-tailed it off the mountain back down to the visitor center, where we did the usual stuff like stamping our passport and working on Junior Ranger badges. It was late and the park was closing soon, so we made the executive decision to have the kids finish the workbooks at the hotel, and then we’d come back in the morning to get their badges. So we left and drove over to check into our hotel.
Pickings were slim as far as restaurant choices in Scottsbluff, but we found a place across the street called the
Whiskey Creek Wood Fire Grill. I was in the mood for barbecue, so I got a pulled pork sammich.
Julie wasn’t overly hungry so she opted for a tiny little soup-and-salad combo.
Everything was fine. It was another place that fell into the “good, not great” category. Dessert was better. Julie got a s’mores kit that included her own little grill to roast the marshmallows.
I got a giant bowl of peach cobbler. I do not regret this decision.
The storm passed over us while we ate, and then we made our way back to the hotel. Tomorrow would be a long driving day, but I don’t think any of us minded at that point. This was not a time to fear what lay ahead. It was a time to quietly contemplate the experience we’d shared that day. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we’ll never see anything quite like Carhenge again. Hey, why is everybody cheering?
Coming Up Next: Hey, remember that exciting chapter about our drive across North Dakota? Well, now we’ll do the same thing in Nebraska!
And who doesn't love cookies for breakfast?
I wonder.... "I want cookies. If I give everyone cookies, I can have cookies."
Okay... be honest. Someone put that there after he was out, right?
