A Few of My Favorite Things, A Race & Scrapbook Pages, Too! FINAL THOUGHTS

Discussion in 'Disney Trip Reports' started by momabaarjo, Oct 14, 2013.

  1. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Tower of Terror 10-Miler
    The Finish Line:
    What Doesn’t Kill Me, Makes Me Stronger-A Royal Transformation​


    “What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger. Just me, myself and I. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stand a little taller…”​


    Crossing the finish line the tears instantly over took me…tears of happiness, tears of victory, tears of accomplishment, and the worst kind of tears there are tears of loneliness and emptiness. Here I was at the finish line, having a medal put around my neck...the piece of bling that I had longed for the last 12 months, the tangible symbol that I DID IT and I was feeling empty and alone, just like the song. This was not the picture I had in my mind at the finish line; I suddenly knew what I had been feeling as I entered DHS. I had always pictured the end being surrounded by my OCD princess friends. The plan was to allow one of the princesses to run her race ahead of us, but be there waiting as we crossed the finish line. I was supposed to be laughing with my evil stepsister OCD princess as we drug each other across the finish line. This trip, this run, this moment was supposed to be about friendship and here I was ALONE. I thought for a moment that I caught of glimpse of OCD Princess Ariel on the sidelines, but I am sure now that it was probably wishful thinking, because she so easily wrote me out of the trip and out of her life, why would she be there as we had planned? She wasn’t there when I needed her the most the last 8 weeks, she meant more to me than I meant to her, never once checked on me to see how I was doing, she didn’t care, she left me ALONE. But maybe that was a good thing, you see I learned something from being left alone. I learned what it felt like to all those friends that I had done the exact same thing to, written off and never looked back. I learned that friendship is about accepting the other person, faults and all, being honest with them when they are driving you CRAZY instead of holding it in and blowing up (only blowing up when they call you CRAZY), and you just don’t write a person off because you think it is going to end eventually anyway to protect yourself. That is the easy way out, if a person really means something to you than you fight for the friendship. I also realized that I had done exactly what I did not want to do in this race; I was so focused on the finish line that I forgot to enjoy each step I took, to live in the moment. I mindlessly made my way through the exit area picking up my snack box, banana, bottle of water allowing regret; sadness and loneliness continue to cloud my thoughts. Looking around me it was like a war zone of bodies all around me…sitting, laying, standing, and moaning. Where was the excitement and celebration that I dreamed of? I remember hearing the theme song of Dallas (NO KIDDING, REALLY) and a smile began to spread across my face and a little laugh came out…how absurd this whole scene was and my feelings…it took a silly theme song from my grandmother’s favorite tv show (YES, I THINK THAT WAS HER SPEAKING HER WISDOM TO ME THROUGH THE SONG). It was at that moment that my phone started going off again and I pulled up my big girl panties…this moment now had to be about ME and right now there are people that love and care about me (as apparent by the number of texts I was getting)...including 2 people waiting to celebrate with me the other side of this exit chute. I thought about the last 12 months of training as well as the last 2 months of emotional heartbreak.

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    I did what I had only dreamed of 12 months and worked so hard to accomplish despite being broken both mentally with a derailed trip & broken friendships and physically with a stress fracture. I stopped to take a picture of me and my bling (so not a good picture).

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    with the realization that...


    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger. Just me, myself and I. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
    Stand a little taller. Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone



    And as I emerged from the exit chute onto Hollywood Blvd, I was no longer an OCD Disney Princess, but a Disney Queen about to party with the villains and no plan was needed. It took me 12 months to transform and what a roller coaster 12 months it had been…
     
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  3. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Looks can be deceiving...ask Betsy what a basket case I was!
     
  4. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Race Pages...

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  5. Monknmom

    Monknmom DIS Veteran

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    I have been following along, it's just that whenever I am reading Madeline is usually sleeping and I don't want the clicks of the keyboard to wake her! If that little princess doesn't get her sleep she kinda looks like this guy :furious:
    Anyway, I am so happy that you got to go and I know that you have told me about how sad it had made you and stuff, but to read your TR it was something! I am so sorry that you felt that way, I know I could not have gone even if I tried (although how great would that have been to say I had a baby at WDW!). I can't relate to how you felt leading up to the trip and I can't relate to how you felt on the trip, but your pictures do help to show us a little bit of what you felt! I wish that you would have been able to make more stops and enjoy yourself along the race course more! I also wish that you could have enjoyed yourself outside of the race more! BUT you should be proud of yourself for how far you have come! Hopefully I can transform into a queen on my trip too! I can't wait to make everything magical and be surrounded by friends and our families as we do this next one together! I still liked all of your pictures and am happy that you found some happy moments along the way! And how great it is that Cammy and Betsy were there for you when you really needed someone! It's troubled times that you find out who your true friends are!
     
  6. swwake

    swwake RIP our sweet Magic (09/27/10)

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    I love your recap, Tammie - so full of raw emotion in every flavor! You make me want to run it this year!
     
  7. tankgirl427

    tankgirl427 DIS Veteran

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    Honestly Tammie, you weren't that much of a basket case. I get the same way when I'm going to run somewhere I haven't before. How does it operate, where am I going, when should I use the porta potty. :rotfl2:

    You just lucked out having two people who have done the RunDisney thing before to help walk you through the scary starting spot. I tried taking a photo of you and Cammy when you were going to the start, its probably really really blurry. Then I went in HS and I was so hungry and found a super comfy area to wait and then backed off my plan to see you in stadium since I didn't think I'd make it back to HS in time to see you finish. The DJ under the hate kept telling people only .1 mile left to go, but I knew it was like another .5 miles. I felt so sorry for you guys and there was nothing we could do to make him stop.

    It's crazy that I was there, but you had me all nervous again in your posts about will you or won't you finish. You love your cliffhangers! :rotfl:
     
  8. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Oh Heather do not think for a moment that I was mad or upset at you for not being there! You had the best reason in the world not to be there!

    I believe all things happen for a purpose! At the time I could not see the purpose, I only had the emotion. As I read back my travel journal from what I wrote in the early hours of the morning when we got back to CBR after the race and writing my TR I found all the reasons that I needed!

    I saw so many things in my journal that all of the sudden everything made sense. I needed the derailed friendship...it taught me a lesson about what I normally do to people I considered friends who have heard me. I liked to BLOW UP BRIDGES, instead of work things out when things get tough. One good thing to come of this was that I reconnected with my very best friend from college and we are working to rebuild our friendship. :yay:

    I can't wait when we bring our daughters, friends and families along for the next adventure! I get to meet your precious family! :woohoo:

    You so totally right, in the darkest of times we not only find ourselves, but we find out our true friends! You included!!!
     
  9. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Yep, lots of raw emotion...but good raw emotion that you can learn from and become a stronger, better person with! I still very heartbroken, but this TR has made me ready to move on to the next adventure and run!

    I am excited for you to run! You will love it!
     
  10. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Trust me...I was a basketcase. I remember asking over and over about the bathrooms and was it time to get in the corrals. :rotfl2: I am so thankful that you walked me through what to expect and it was wonderful to meet Carol! She was a calming presence!

    Yep, you were there for me...and while we talked a little bit about my feelings and emotions, I saved that for the TR once I got a handle on them and understood them for myself!

    I wish we could have spent more time together, but looking so forward to running together in just about a year!
     
  11. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    TOT 10-Miler After Party:
    Partying with the Villains Until the Wee Hours of the Morning​


    I made way out of the exit chute onto Hollywood Blvd to this view...

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    ICK ICK ICK Before realizing that Cammy had no idea how to get to where Betsy had planned for us to meet up. I called Cammy in the chaos of the exit area, only to find out that she was somehow behind me and I talked her to where I was standing. When she finally emerged from the crowd we were both holding our medals up for each other in victory. It was now time to find Betsy who was waiting for us near Little Mermaid with all of our belongings. Betsy was all smiles as we showed her our medals...

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    and then she surprised us with another piece of bling, a Disney “My Magical Triumph” button, which proudly hangs on my office bulletin board with a completion certificate from the race…a daily reminder that I can do things that surprise even me.

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    I can’t tell you how many people stopped to ask us where we got those buttons…I proudly told them that my FRIEND Betsy gave it to me. That button means just as much to me as my medal does. The medal is about me and the button is about true friendship. As Cammy got her boot on I sat down on the nearest bench as now my body decided it needed a rest and fuel. I rummaged around my snack box and munched away.

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    After a little break, I told both Cammy and Betsy either we start partying with the Villains

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    or my body was going to further shut down on me and there were rides I wanted to do! We made our way down Pixar towards TSM, but I remember us not stopping because the line was too long so we headed to Star Tours where the ride was walk on. From there we decided it was time for RnRC, but got side tracked as Cammy ordered an "I DID IT" shirt. I looked at the colors and still decided against the purchase.

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    We then did a ride on RnRC...

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    and then had a shoot out on TSM which Betsy won.

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    When we exited I spotted Lotso all alone and decided here was my chance to have a character picture taken!

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    Then while Cammy and I rode ToT a couple of times Betsy went back to pick up Cammy’s shirt.

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    We met back with Betsy, who was engaged in conversation with a group of people, as we exited ToT. Come to find out Betsy had met these people at DL the month before…she has a knack of meeting random strangers and then running into them again. By this time it was just about party ending time (close to 4 am)and we were literally some of the last ones to leave the park (goal accomplished to party with the villains all night...and morning long).

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    As we headed towards the entrance I stopped to get some popcorn and a coke. Disney popcorn is the best, but after what I had just done in the last 18 hours it was even better. We made our way towards our separate buses making plans to meet up sometime before Cammy and I had to leave on ME midafternoon. The bus ride back to CBR was quiet as our bodies were headed towards shut down mode. I remember walking into the room, thinking I need to take an ice bath but first it was time to CAKE IT UP…the way all CUPCAKE RUNNERS celebrate after a race! Time for a bottle of water and my Money Cupcake (peanut butter buttercream icing, moist vanilla cake with a a center full of banana pudding and banana pieces).

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    I knew after my cupcake I needed to take an ice bath, but I could not muster enough strength to get out of bed…
     
  12. swwake

    swwake RIP our sweet Magic (09/27/10)

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    OK the real question is - where did Betsey get that button? I want one!

    By the way, between your TR and 3 of my friends calling and texting me within 1 hour last Saturday, Chris and I have decided to run the TOT this year! I have two friends and their families who will likely join us, along with my sister-in-law and her family. And if we can convince my sister to save some money to go, she will also join us and my Mom as a spectator!
     
  13. Disneychix

    Disneychix When you wish upon a star...

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    Congratulations to you!!

    I can't believe you partied until the end and then you still had some energy left once you got back to the room! You rock!!
     
  14. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    I am not sure where she got the button. But it is VERY SPECIAL...makes me smile when I look at every day! Betsy has a knack for knowing lots the little secrets in WDW! I am stunned at some of the things that she knows about...

    :yay:So excited for your trip and run! You will have a blast!
     
  15. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Thank you! Good luck on your upcoming run and remember to enjoy yourself a little in the midst of all of it!
     
  16. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    The Morning After (or just a few hours after)


    After getting to bed around 5 am, I was still up pretty early; actually I don’t think I slept at all. Once I stopped my whole body went into rebellion mode telling me it did NOT like the 10 miles and the Villain party. Really if I could have just cut off my feet at my ankles I would have been okay. My feet were throbbing like I have never felt before…deep sharp throbs. Tossing and turning for 3 hours I finally gave up and begin trying to be quiet rummaging in my suitcase trying to find my Biofreeze, with no success on finding it or being quiet. Waking Cammy up we decided to get back and savor what few hours we have left in WDW.


    After the comment about Michael Jackson from Cammy, I knew I had to drown my sorrows by finishing up a few stops that we had missed Wednesday during F&W. Our first stop was at Hawaii, where we shared a Kalua Pork Slider with Sweet and Sour Dole Pineapple Chutney & Spicy Mayonnaise.

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    It was so yummy. Next it was on to Canada. I was really looking forward to trying the offerings here, just because I have never seemed to get and ADR for Le Cellier and here I could get the things I had been wanting to try off the menu without have an ADR….Canadian Cheddar Cheese Soup and “Le Cellier” Wild Mushrooms Beef Filet Mignon with Truffle Butter Sauce.

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    Neither of us were very impressed with either dish. The filet was good, but I certainly have had better and the soup was really salty. We did a little looking around Canada, but honestly we were so wiped out that nothing was holding our attention very long. Our next food stop was at the refreshment port, were I HAD to try the special dole whip for the Food & Wine, Orange Dole Whip with Crème de Cacao White.

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    I was not impressed, not a huge fan of orange and chocolate, plus the liquor was really overpowering the dole whip soft serve. Just give me a dole whip float any day (now had this been flower and garden…the spice rum would have been much better). We slowly made our way towards the UK, but stopped first to savor the griddled cheese at Greece.

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    WOW, this was awesome! I could have had several more servings of this! I loved the sweetness of the honey and the saltiness of the cheese and pistachios nuts! After looking around in the UK we decided we were done snacking and wanted more of a meal. I decided that I needed some fish and chips from Yorkshire.

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    The fish and chips are one of my favorite foods when eating around the world…and with a little malt vinegar they are amazing, a real comfort food for me, but not so much Cammy. She headed to Mexico for some comfort food...

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    A taco hamburger and some churros! We sat in Mexico for awhile soaking in the last few minutes of our trip, before heading back towards the entrance. But just was we were about to exit we realized we had forgotten something…YIKES the knee scooter that we had left in stroller parking in front of TT. So back we went with rebelling legs. Knee stroller in possession Cammy happy made her way out of Epcot with me dragging behind.

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    When we boarded the bus, I got a text from Betsy telling us that she would meet us at CBR to say goodbye. We arrived back at the Customs House to wait for ME with plenty of time to spare and being as exhausted as we were we just kind of sat there in a zombie like stance. The trip and the race was quickly catching up with us. Betsy arrived just as the ME was pulling up to take us to the airport.

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    I gave her a little present that I had made for her, hugged, and reminded each other that it would be February 2015 before we knew it! We boarded and waved to Betsy as ME pulled away, making it once again the saddest ride in all of WDW.

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    I don’t remember a lot of the plane trip back home, other than making a mess with biofreeze all over the place as I tried to find some relief for my aching legs! We arrived in Denver to make our connection home right on time, and then landed 45 minutes later, gathered our bags and headed home, then back at school the next morning.
     
  17. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    THIS TR ain't over yet...I will be back soon with a link to my FINISHED ALBUM as well as some final reflections and an ANNOUNCEMENT! :cool1:
     
  18. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Finally did this page...

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  19. petals

    petals Irish Princess because Cinderella said so!

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    Just reading your last few updates. The medals are cool that you get for disney marathons. Well done :goodvibes
     
  20. Monknmom

    Monknmom DIS Veteran

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    Some of the food around the world looked really good! I think that taco burger looked really good! Maybe I can find a recipe!
     
  21. momabaarjo

    momabaarjo Cupcakes, Cocktails, & Crap Load of Pixie Dust

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    Most of the food was pretty yummy...did not find much that I did not like! I think after PHM we should plan for Food & Wind Half! Heather you are the most amazing cook...I am sure the taco burger is not much more than ground beef and taco seasoning. Someday I am going to get you to cook for me!
     

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