7 months pregnant and husband having an affair...what now?

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by TRK0011, Sep 27, 2012.

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  1. disneychic2

    disneychic2 DIS Veteran

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    Very well said. I agree!

    OP, so glad you gave us an update. We've been wondering how you were doing and it's great to hear baby is doing so well. Love that your Dad is so excited! I'm sure your Mom is as well. Is it possible for you to tell your soon-to-be ex not to call you any more? I think you'll have a better chance at more "good" days if you stop listening to his delusional self pity. Just a thought. Take care and continue doing what your doing and take one day at a time. :flower3:
     
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  3. horseshowmom

    horseshowmom DIS Veteran

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    I tend to agree. They aren't at fault, and the baby can benefit from having two sets of loving grandparents. I will be honest enough to admit that I would want any visitation to take place in Canada. The whole crossing international lines thing would make me nervous (just in case there was ever a problem).
     
  4. kellyg403

    kellyg403 <font color=green>She changes friends like she cha

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    OP, glad to hear you and baby are doing well. You have a hard road, but you are doing wonderfully. I bet your parents are beside themselves with excitement of being such a close part of their grandson's life.

    Your dh will never understand. I would almost guess that while he is talking to you about what happened and where he went wrong, he is burning up the phone of the girlfriend too. There are realities. He can't be alone. It is all about him and always will be. His needs and his wants.

    As for his parents, I agree with others. I have a personal relationship on my own with my children's grandparents. If they want to send them tickets to come see them over break, I arrange it with the grandparents. I have no ill will towards them but there is never any discussion regarding their son. Ever. Sure, passing comments about everyday life but that is it. You define the relationship with them. And you are right, your son deserves to know his grandparents. It does sound like they love their grandchild already. If it were me I probably would lay it one the line, No discussions about the son with you and neutral ground meetings. Take your time in making that decision and be comfortable when you do.

    Good luck OP!!

    Kelly
     
  5. ksjayhawks

    ksjayhawks DIS Veteran

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    Glad you and the baby are doing well. I agree with a pp about drawing up a medical poa for your parents.

    I am on board with other posters as i am not sure why you keep taking your dh's calls. What good do you think will come from doing this? I would stop taking them or take them very rarely--once every week maybe. But again, I ask why? What is there to talk about? Why listen to him whine? I would let the lawyer handle all communications with him, including notifying him of the baby's birth. Unless you are hoping he will say that he was wrong and wants you back or has suddenly decided he wants to be a father. Is this what you are hoping for? :confused3
     
  6. The Mystery Machine

    The Mystery Machine Sunrise at my house. :+)

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    You know, I hope it goes that way, I truly do. :thumbsup2
     
  7. abdmom

    abdmom DIS Veteran

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    OP, I'm glad you and the baby are doing well. It's wonderful that you have such loving parents.

    Have you spoken to a lawyer yet? I can't remember.
     
  8. Keira1387

    Keira1387 Married at Disney August 2, 2008

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    Bumping. I know it's getting close to the op's due date. Hope all is well!
     
  9. disneychic2

    disneychic2 DIS Veteran

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    Yes, Dec 1 is her date. Hopefully she'll keep us posted. And supply pics of the baby!! Meanwhile, keeping her in my prayers.:goodvibes
     
  10. Disney  Doll

    Disney Doll DIS Security Matron

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    Looking forward to hearing about the birth of that beautiful baby!!!! You remain in my prayers.
     
  11. alldiz

    alldiz DIS Veteran

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    I am sooo sorry for you. This is an absolute nightmare. I pray you find some inner peace. Your baby will love you unconditionally. Unfortunately your husband has given you no choice but to go see a lawyer and find out your rights. While your parents are I'm sure enjoying travelling they would be very upset to think you are living in this situation. You and your baby need to be around loving people.
    I pray you find the serenity to make your decision
    Good luck
    Kerri
     
  12. PrincessNancy96

    PrincessNancy96 Scrapbook Mom Moderator

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    Continued prayers and pixie dust to you and your little one!!
    Been thinking of you!
     
  13. pumba

    pumba DIS PUMBARIZER Moderator

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    Hope and pray all is going well for you..
    My son was born on Thanksgiving day 43 years ago this coming Thursday...I know that Canada's was in October...but giving thanks for your blessing is on the agenda from us to you...
    Many cyber aunts and uncles are in the sidelines anxiously waiting for your little one..
    :grouphug:
     
  14. Shmily1

    Shmily1 DIS Veteran

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    Pumba, you are totally correct! We are all here cheering for you and your precious little man.
     
  15. TRK0011

    TRK0011 Earning My Ears

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    Hey everyone - don't get excited, no baby as of yet but the doctor thinks it could be in the next 48 hours! I went in for an appointment this morning and she said everything is ready to go, just need to convince the little one to come out! He's still kicking around in there so hopefully he knows it's time to make an appearance and he's not too comfortable!

    After reading the responses last time, I decided to cut down on contact with DH. I told him I'd update him with baby news as and when it occurred, but that otherwise I thought it would be best just to minimize contact for both of our sakes. He didn't take this well to begin with, but has somewhat respected my wishes and we haven't talked very much at all over the last couple of weeks. I do hear things through the grapevine from friends, but I've started asking that they keep information about him to a minimum.

    Some information is being passed on though. It would seem DH and the other girl are no longer in touch with one another, however her mother has somehow decided that DH is a victim in all this now, and has become his new best friend. She's even going to California to see him next weekend. DH's parents are also not speaking to him, and continue to send me nice emails - they're not being too pushy right now, and haven't brought up visiting again, so for now the relationship is good.

    Anyway, I will update as soon as my little man gets here - I'm so, so excited to meet him at this point, as are my parents. I couldn't sleep the other night so was pottering around in my room finding things to do - my dad comes storming in, coat over his PJs, car keys in hand, asking "is it that time, is that why you're up, we heard you, are you in labor, we're ready to go, are you ready?!" I think he's more excited than my mom and I!
     
  16. momrek06

    momrek06 DIS Veteran

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    Oh Sweetie, GREAT UPDATE!!!! :goodvibes

    We are all excited for you!!!!

    Your Dad is AWESOME!!!!

    Your baby boy is going to have a FANTASTIC AMAZING MOM and some FABULOUS GRANDPARENTS!!!!

    :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay:
     
  17. The Mystery Machine

    The Mystery Machine Sunrise at my house. :+)

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    Great to hear from you and happy pushing!!!!:cool1:
     
  18. goofyintoronto

    goofyintoronto I really wanted to like it, but I didnt.

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    You are such a strong and level headed woman. You should be proud of yourself. Im glad your taking steps in the right direction. Minimizing contact with him is, no doubt, the best for you.

    As for the girl, wow, why am i not shocked that theyre not together anymore? Honestly. Was all this worth it to him? UGH! And as for her mom, what the heck. She's supporting him? Now i see where the mistress gets her craziness from, HER MOM!

    What really made me laugh is your dad. LMAO!! Omg he's so cute. hahaha :rotfl2: :rotfl:

    Good luck during labour! we'll keep our fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly. :thumbsup2
     
  19. "Cinder" Ella's Mom

    "Cinder" Ella's Mom DIS Veteran

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    You are amazing to update us. I have been checking every day for an update! I wish you the best and your story of your dad brought me to
    tears. I wish you a speedy, happy labor and a beautiful and healthy son!
     
  20. it's kelly

    it's kelly Mouseketeer

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    Don't worry yourself with how others are feeling sorry for your husband. Imagine what he is telling this woman. The more she comforts him the more he will think what he did wasn't wrong. Until he does it to her daughter.

    Your baby is going to be one lucky boy. Hope he doesn't hang out too much longer and he arrives soon. Wishing you a pain free, quick delivery.
     
  21. mrsheppo

    mrsheppo Mom to 11 and still partially sane

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    I have been following your story but haven't posted previously. i just wanted to wish you the best of everything. Hope you will have a smooth labor and delivery and hold that precious baby in your arms soon. He is so lucky to have you as a mom and loving grandparents that can't wait to meet him.
     
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