A good friend went through this, except they also had 2 other very young children. He moved out 2 weeks before the baby was born, and had been married for almost 10 years.
The mean things he is saying is to protect himself from the tremendous guilt he is trying not to feel (but should be). He is projecting his self hatred onto you - pretty much all cheating husbands do this to justify the affair.
I hate to say it, but I don't see a happy family outcome in this case (based on all of the divorces I've had friends go through - mid 40's, so a bunch). First thing is to get yourself set up financially (without him knowing). Hire an attorney (without him knowing). Get the attorney's advice on how to proceed.
You will probably go through a period of wanting him back, and feeling that it's something you did to cause this - get councelling, and hopefully you can get through this phase fast, and realize that it's just not true.
He is your mistake - the baby is the good resulting from this horrible mess.
The mean things he is saying is to protect himself from the tremendous guilt he is trying not to feel (but should be). He is projecting his self hatred onto you - pretty much all cheating husbands do this to justify the affair.
I hate to say it, but I don't see a happy family outcome in this case (based on all of the divorces I've had friends go through - mid 40's, so a bunch). First thing is to get yourself set up financially (without him knowing). Hire an attorney (without him knowing). Get the attorney's advice on how to proceed.
You will probably go through a period of wanting him back, and feeling that it's something you did to cause this - get councelling, and hopefully you can get through this phase fast, and realize that it's just not true.
He is your mistake - the baby is the good resulting from this horrible mess.