3 weeks out and I don't want to go now.

Discussion in 'Disney Cruise Line Forum' started by violetmonarch, Jan 4, 2013.

  1. 4redheads

    4redheads Earning My Ears

    Joined:
    May 22, 2012
    Messages:
    63
    Those little eyes who are watching are learning a lot from all this. Does the it's not fair card work for them too?
     
  2. Avatar

    Google AdSense Guest Advertisement


    to hide this advert.
  3. EPCOTatNight

    EPCOTatNight I am the Polynesian Parking guy and the Original D

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Messages:
    2,151
    If the situation is the same, then yes.
     
  4. braysmommy

    braysmommy DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2010
    Messages:
    555
    Was thinking the same thing myself....guess I need to give my mom an extra hug:) she will be with us on our upcoming cruise and can't wait to share the excitement....now if my brother was coming along that would be another story:eek:
     
  5. violetmonarch

    violetmonarch Mouseketeer

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    322
    Thank you. I agree that when I think of times when I have the means to buy something, I opt for taking my kids to the coast, or to a concert, or to Sea World (we live next door to it) over going out to dinner. My kids love when I cook and we take pleasure in small things. I guess I am so frustrated because as much as I know I am not adopted...her and I are from different sides of the universe. Today was like the straw that broke my back already. I am going to go regardless because this is what I have been dreaming of forever. Sorry that you are estranged, and I totally understand.

    Thank you. TA said that either I get another person to take her place and pay $50 or she can just not show up at port and this way I might not get charged for my other kid (voiding the KSF), which I cannot afford. :crazy2:

    Thank you. I understand that she has limitations, and that is why I told her that since we were planning on doing the Rays and Dolphins, that there are other things she can do alone. She refused and said that she could do the activities...I know full well though that she cannot. It's like she has to follow me around all of the time, and when I mentioned her going alone to other things, she got furious with me and gave me the cold shoulder, yet again. :duck: when I lay down the law...she only gets offended. I give up.

    Thank you. I asked TA about separate rooms, and DCL told her that that would be considered a cancellation and that I would lose 75% and then have to pay the higher price for the same room since the other inside rooms are all taken. Other option is to let her just not show up at port, and then I would have to repay her portion to her (cannot afford that). Part of me thinks I shouldn't have tried to go on this trip....:faint:

    Thank you. I am kind of hoping that she will come to be civil at least, and then I will just stay out of her sight for 95% of the trip. I paid out a lot to go....she will not fathom repaying me if the shoe was on the other foot.

    Thank you. Yes I am slowly loosing sanity with this. I have gone out of my way to make it so all of us can enjoy something together and apart...but that only works when you have others that are willing to at least cooperate. When did I become the mature one? lol

    OMG! :rotfl: Thant's hilarious! What timing! Gotta see more!:rotfl2:

    Thank you. I kept the Stingray excursion, though since that seems better for my son. I think that I will use that money for my next cruise/wdw combo in a year and book on board (sans mommy dearest). :thumbsup2 I appreciate everyone taking time to talk to me here and give advice because I hate to ever complain, but this was just too much for me and I needed to vent. You all are great peeps!:lovestruc

    Thanks so much! I cannot wait to have your words come true!

    Lol, I am glad that you do! Maybe that movie mentioned above is based on a true story? :rotfl2:

    Thank you. I agree with you there about making memories and taking pictures and making sure that everyone is just having a great time together. That is why some friends of mine don't understand why my mother does what she does to her only child (me). I could say it is a lot of things, but I figure that if she really wanted to be happy, she would just let down her pride, or pain, or stubbornness, or whatever, and focus on the bigger picture. Then again...that's just my opinion.:confused3

    Thanks! Can't wait!! :thumbsup2 You're buying, right? jk

    Thank you. That's great that you have that Fantasy cruise to look forward too. That is the feeling I thought I was going to have until today happened. I want to be able to count on my mom, not as a child but just as a contributor to the happiness.
    Thru this thread, though, you all have helped me to simmer down myself, talk me off the ledge and gave me encouragement. What a treasure some kind people are to others in need.
     
  6. kasajacar

    kasajacar Earning My Ears

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    If your mother is like MY mother, then she's going to be pissed/upset/disappointed regardless of what you do.

    This trip isn't about making HER happy.... It's for the kids. Rebook your excursions, and give her the option of joining you, or not!

    While its easy to say what you *should* do, and *should* say..... Sometimes it isn't quite that easy. All you have control of, is your own attitude, and your own happiness. You can't change her, and you most likely can't make her happy either. Go into this with the attitude that you and your kids WILL have a great time! And whatever attitude your mother wants to have, is her choice too.

    Only YOU can choose how YOU react to her.
     
  7. sayhello

    sayhello Have Camera, Will Travel Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    10,903
    Did you lay down the law and stick to it, or did you lay down the law and then cave in to her manipulation? It doesn't count as laying down the law unless you stick to it and follow through on it.

    Sayhello
     
  8. kcashner

    kcashner DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    33,285
    And since there appears to be financial issues too--make sure HER account is tied to HER credit card. That way, none of her tips, charges, excursions, etc. will show up on your account.

    You know she has no intention of not calling the TA to cancel. If you get to 14 days, she can just not show up. At that point, DCL will not adjust your "deal" to eliminate the KSF. They will just keep the booking the same and have her as a "no show." She's not going to do that either. I think she is just jerking your chain!
     
  9. PrincessShmoo

    PrincessShmoo DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Messages:
    19,849
    I'm sorry, if she just doesn't show up at the port, why should you have to repay her? She's the one chosing to be childish about this.

    If 2 people book a room together because it's cheaper to do so, and then one of them gets their knickers in a knot and decides not to go by just not showing up, the other person doesn't have to repay them. It was their choice to give up the payment by not showing up.

    As I have recently found out, at a certain point our parents become our children (and in the opposite view - we become the parents).

    :cutie:
     
  10. violetmonarch

    violetmonarch Mouseketeer

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    322
    Thank you. Indeed, I cannot change her, I am not sure I can even appease her to consider just listening to me at all. When I talk, she interjects and says that I do not allow her to talk....yeah right, I never even finish a statement before she says all she wants to. Head, meet brick wall!

    Thanks. Yes, I stick to what I say I am going to do, as mentioned above tho....she doesn't listen to me EVER.

    Thanks. Yes jerking my chain seems to be her enjoyment. It's ehen she jerks my kids around that is making me most upset.

    Thank you. OH NO, not my mother!! She will want repayment of her half of the hotel, the parking, the gas...all of which I actually have gotten free except the parking. Who booked it all? Me. Who researched what to do? Me. Who spent her free Hotel.com Reward night on the hotel? Me. Who managed to get an on board credit? Me. If I were the one that was going to stay behind, I would be out considerably more than her, and I never thought to ask to be repaid. My mother, however wants all of that repaid plus interest. Her rationale is that since this is all my fault, I am obligated to recoup her.:faint:
     
  11. violetmonarch

    violetmonarch Mouseketeer

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    322
    And yes I made absolutely sure to get her own account tied to her card....I know that there would be some charges there that mysteriously would appear.
     
  12. auntie

    auntie <font color=darkorchid>It's a really lovely way to

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Messages:
    7,309
    Maybe I missed it, but did you take/or get travel insurance?...:confused3
    If so...maybe something to seriously think about right now.:scratchin

    I'm sorry, and don't want to rub salt in the wound here, but certainly her behavior can't be a suprise to you at this point in your life? What made you think travel with her would be a pleasant experience?
     
  13. PrincessShmoo

    PrincessShmoo DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Messages:
    19,849
    If it helps any, I think she's wrong about the whole thing. She's the one who "invited herself" on your already planned trip, and then started making demands on how that trip should operate. At least that's the picture I'm getting here.

    I wouldn't think that her part would actually be half. If I had the time, and it were me, I would price the whole thing out without her, and then price it with her and the difference between the two would be what she would get back, maximum.

    Even in the best of circumstances, if you cancel trips, they don't include interest to be paid back, you only get back what you paid. That's figuring that you cancel prior to any pentaly periods. If you cancel once the penalty periods start, you get even less back. And, yes, if it were my mother, I'd point that out to her. But I'm like that.

    :cutie:
     
  14. TLSnell1981

    TLSnell1981 Tiny bubbles... make me happy... make me feel fine

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2006
    Messages:
    11,394
    This would give me the strength to stand up to a mob. Don't mess with my kids.
     
  15. sayhello

    sayhello Have Camera, Will Travel Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    10,903
    I'm sorry, but what good is travel insurance going to do her at this point? "My mother decided to be a jerk and not come on the cruise" would only be covered if you had "Cancel for any Reason" coverage, and I really don't think she can get that 3 weeks before the cruise. Most insurance won't pay out just because someone doesn't want to go on a cruise.

    Sayhello
     
  16. kcashner

    kcashner DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    33,285
    If SHE doesn't show up at the port, you don't owe her anything. If she gets to 14 days and hasn't cancelled, she gets nothing back from DCL. That's HER loss as SHE is the one who made the decision to not show. DCL already has their money--hopefully they got it from her and you didn't pay it.

    Again, don't let her guilt you into anything. SHE is the one making these decisions and SHE needs to suffer the consequences.

    I don't know what your plans are for getting to the port, but my guess is that at some point they involve a stop at her home to pick her up...either on the way to the airport or to drive to the cruise. I'd tell her that you'll be there at X o'clock. Show up ON TIME...as in to the minute. No scenes, no arguments. She is either ready and gets into the car with her suitcase or you drive off. You can't argue and you can't be late for your flight/cruise. If she is not ready to lock the door and get in the car, it's HER problem. She can call a cab and make it to the airport or not--her choice.

    You have got to quit buckling under when this woman bullies you. She only pushes because she knows you always give in. And you can't allow her to bully your children. It is your job to protect them!
     
  17. sandrakit

    sandrakit Mouseketeer

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2012
    Messages:
    130
    DO NOT TELL HER IF YOU REBOOK ON BOARD OR BOOK AGAIN ..... Let us know how you make out on your cruise !
     
  18. kcashner

    kcashner DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    33,285
    When you check in, you will each have to present your own credit card to put on your account (even though you did this in advance). Be sure she has that and all needed documents before you leave for the airport or you will have drama beyond belief!
     
  19. "Cinder" Ella's Mom

    "Cinder" Ella's Mom DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,543
    I have a very similar mother and have made this mistake many times before...turned out disastrous each time. I have now told my mom (we are on decent terms) that we will never travel together again. I don't say it in a mean way, but just "we do not travel well together." I know this does not help you now. I did want to suggest that you request table mates for dinner. My mom was always behaved around strangers and having "buffers" has always helped. Plus, she may make a friend! Good luck. You and I both know she is going to come!
     
  20. dvcersfromva

    dvcersfromva Mouseketeer

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2004
    Messages:
    135
    I didn't read each and every post, but, boy do I feel for you! Nothing can spoil your fun more than a mom that is manipulative and wants to call the shots. I hope you and your kids can find a way to have a good time........you do know about DCL's liberal "bring your own alcohol" policy, right?
     
  21. pdwimmer

    pdwimmer DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    749
    Ouch. My mom went with us last year. She was an obnoxious drunk the entire time, but at least she had her own room so we could kind of get away from her. Just try to make the best of it and set some ground rules with her.
     

Share This Page