Ron,
All your talk about beer and crawling worried me, so I did a BS(Beer Source) analysis....I have some good news for you!!!
A few facts -
the Magic is 964 feet long
About 800 feet of that is open to cruisers
Most activity occurs on deck Decks 10 & 11) or in the entertainment area (Decks 3 & 4)
Analysis-
On Decks 10 & 11, BS is available at Signals, Outlook, Pinocchios, and Plutos
On Decks 3 & 4, BS is available at Preludes, Studio Sea, Sessions, Diversions, RockinBarD, and Promenade Lounge.
Assuming most of our travel is fore and aft, I have disregarding any side to side travel, including chronic staggering. Based on this info, on decks 10 & 11, BS are an average of 200 feet apart. Therefore you should never have to crawl more than 100 feet for a refill!!!
Decks 3 & 4 are even better!!! BS are only an average of 133 feet apart. Crawling is limited to a max of 67 feet. Even I could do that!!!
One word of warning - Beware of the outside doors on Deck 4. If in your stupor you accidently crawl through one of those doors, you could find yourself lost on the Promonade! Out there you could do endless 1/4 mile crawls and never find BS!! Go back inside immediately!!! And whatever you do out there, DO NOT assume those nozzles you see hanging on the walls are BS....they are Fire Hoses!!!!
Hope this helps