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Old 06-03-2003, 06:04 PM   #1
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Post The Sylvia In Memoriam thread

I just wanted to post this as we are fast approaching the second anniversary this week of the loss of one of our most beloved and wonderful people here on the DIS, Sylvia, aka NicksMom. She was an inspiration and beacon of hope while she was here, both as Moderator and poster, and I'd like to think the genuinely caring spirit with which she imbued all her posts can still mean something today.

And I wanted to post something by Dan Murphy, who certainly put my feelings into words, at the moment of hearing of this sad, sad loss.

This is who we were back then, and this is what the DIS did - and still does - in creating a genuine Community here on the internet. Kudos to you Dan, and here's to the memory of a very dear cyberfriend..............

"Our dear friend and DIS family member, Sylvia, aka NicksMom, passed away this morning, Thursday, June 7, at about 4 AM. After a very brave and courageous 3 1/2 year fight to overcome her inflammatory breast cancer, Sylvia left us today to be with God and the angels, pain and troublefree.

I had never had the pleasure of meeting Sylvia in person, but did have the pleasure of getting to know her over the past 18 months from when she met us here on the DIS. Over the past 8 or 9 months, I additionally had the priviledge of talking with Sylvia on the phone on a somewhat regular basis. I felt a very strong bond with Sylvia, who with her breast cancer, had a common link to Marie, a breast cancer survivor.

Sylvia came on the boards back in January, '00, looking for some budget help to take her DS, Nick, to Disney World. She was going to start a second round of chemo in March and did not know what lay ahead for her health wise. She wanted to take her Nick to WDW, as she had promised him in times past, while she was essentially still strong and 'healthy' before her chemo. She knew that it may be the last time she would be strong enough to make the trek and she did want to share her love of Disney with Nick. Our DIS friend, Maray, aka Marilyn, herself a breast cancer survivor, alerted me to Sylvia's first DIS post on the Budget Board. She said, 'Dan, we have to be able to do some for this lady and her little boy. We are the DIS afterall.' The DIS did come through, and through Pete's help, Sylvia and Nick did have a magical trip, his first, her last, to Disney World. I was so taken up with the human nature of the DIS, it was in itself, magical. Thank you again, Pete.

As it turned out, Sylvia's fears at that time were true...she was never physically able to make the trip again. She started her second chemo treatments very shortly after her return from WDW. Lasting several months, she again was feeling the ravages of her disease. A number of months after finishing her second, she had to begin her third round of chemo. She wound up going on a continual drip chemo, 24/7. She was also doing radiation treatments along the way.

A while back, Pete said he would like to have a little get-to-gether in Orlando, for the moderators and chat hosts...just a simple gathering to express his thanks to the moderator/host folks for the work they do around the DIS, a very nice gesture indeed. At first, Sylvia felt she would not be able to go, what with the travel concerns and stamina you need if you are going to make a mini vacation out of it. I worked diligently for a number of weeks to build up her comfort and confidence levels that she could tackle WDW for a few days either side of Pete's gathering by assuring her I would be at her side constantly, along with her mom. Well, fate should have it, she had to go to the hospital, as we all know, just under 4 weeks ago. Up until the week before she would have left to meet me in Florida, Sylvia was holding out that she would be able to go. Well, she was not of the strength to make the journey. I did talk to both her and her mom most every day while I was there, though her talk times were very limited due to sedation and just general weaknesss.

I last talked to Sylvia, I think last Thursday, while still in Orlando. I talked to her mom on Sunday. This evening I called and the hospital told me she passed away this morning. I called her mom, expressing mine and our collective sorrows and condolences. Her mom, Margarete, is in awe of the DIS. She can not express enough her feelings for what we meant to her daughter and how we made her last days, days she was wrapped with love, friendship and Disney. She said the hospital room walls were covered with cards, notes and letters taped to them. Margarete said she read them to Sylvia daily. She said the medical staff had never seen anything like it before. So many 'strangers' loving a 'stranger'. She had many stuffed animals and the like, many Eeyores, Sylvia's favorite. Margarete says she would love to personally express her thanks, but is not into computers. She asked me to and I am.

Like I said, I never met Sylvia, but am in tears writing this. She was a part of my life for the past 18 months. She was part of the DIS family for the past 18 months. She always will be, as will Tink 2300, aka Stephanie."

The DIS, June 2003 - We shall remember............
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Old 06-03-2003, 06:22 PM   #2
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Simon - thanks so much for that rememberance. Sylvia was a splash of hope for us all - she was a great person, a wonderful ray of sunshine and great person to talk to. I did have the pleasure, as some will testify here, to talk with her through PM - to fling a funny sidekick to a post to her - or to ask her a really stupid question.

This Saturday I will be a part of the crew for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer - a proud accomplishment of mine to help raise money for research and to cheer and be a support to those that are walking. Ironically I will be getting up and starting my day at 4am on Saturday - the two year anniversary of Sylvia's passing. I knew it was coming up - the date of the anniversary - but didn't put two and two together until just now.

I so remember the day I signed on and read Dan's post - one I will never forget just as I still remember the post when Stephanie passed too. Godspeed to the two of them - they were wonderful people to know!

And yes - it WAS and IS what the CB is about and what makes this such a great place - a pillar of support for anyone that needs it whenever they need it!!!!!!
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4/28/03 - Hopefully the last time!!!

Last edited by December99; 06-04-2003 at 10:59 AM.
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Old 06-03-2003, 06:27 PM   #3
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Simon, thank you for the remembrance. There were many, many people on these boards whose lives were touched by Syvia in so many ways. Although I was not one of them, her story has touched me and given me strength. I hope people remember her with love and affection and take the time to reflect on their own lives on June 7. We never know what is most precious until we lose it.
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Old 06-03-2003, 06:31 PM   #4

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I was just think about Sylvia today. I have a garden outside my back door. There's a walkway through the middle with a bridge that you cross over. As I come down the bridge I've planted a white astilibe there in memory of Sylvia. Just about this time of year it gets ready to bloom.

I only knew Sylvia through the boards, never meet her. I can tell you her memory is a part of my everyday life. As I cross this bridge there isn't a day I don't think of her and wonder how Nick is doing.
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Last edited by Mamu; 06-03-2003 at 06:38 PM.
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Old 06-03-2003, 06:38 PM   #5
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Thanks, Simon. Sylvia has been on my mind a lot this week and I was also going to post a remembrance.

Sylvia was the first person I ever felt confident to share my email address with. We soon realized that after numerous chastisements from lilmermaid about our risque comments about Bard Pitt, a dessert bowl, and cholocate syrup - that we better take it to email!!

Sylvia was very upfront with her ongoing battle with cancer - and she shared her struggles and triumphs. Through it all, she never lost her sense of humor - and no matter how much pain she was in, she always took the time to share a smile and a laugh with anyone in need.

She loved nature and lakes and fishing, especially with Dan and Nick.

It is because of Sylvia that I have opened up and allowed myself to enjoy swaps and exchanges with other DISers. I lament the fact that my package of a beefcake boy poster and a bottle of syrup did not reach her in the hospital in time, it was returned to me by the hospital after her death. Darn those pesky custom delays between Canada and the U.S.

I will always remember your little otter clipart and also the cuddly bear. You could *lol* like no one else - and I knew that you truly were laughing out loud! Thank you for being my very first DIS friend. I will NEVER forget or stop missing you......
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Old 06-03-2003, 08:31 PM   #6

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Thank you, Simon...

I will always remember both Sylvia and Stephanie
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Old 06-03-2003, 08:50 PM   #7
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Thank you for posting this.
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Old 06-03-2003, 08:59 PM   #8
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Thank you so much for posting this... both Sylvia and Stephanie will never be forgotten.
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Old 06-03-2003, 09:12 PM   #9
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Thank you.
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Old 06-03-2003, 09:23 PM   #10
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We'll never forget her.:D

Thanks for posting this.
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Old 06-03-2003, 09:33 PM   #11
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Thank you Simon.

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Old 06-03-2003, 09:43 PM   #12
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Thank you for posting this, Simon. Sylvia will always be remembered here. My prayers remain with Nick and Sylvia's mom.
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Old 06-04-2003, 01:50 AM   #13
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Thanks for this Simon. I've been thinking about Sylvia quite a bit in the last few days. She is truly missed.

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Old 06-04-2003, 04:23 AM   #14
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Thanks Simon.
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Old 06-04-2003, 04:43 AM   #15
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I was reminded of Sylvia just the other day when someone asked what the DIS used to be like. One of the things that stand out most in my mind about the DIS is Sylvia. She displayed such courage, such humor, under such tragic circumstances.

I knew Sylvia as a fellow Mod, but didn't really get to know her until her and I found ourselves in a heated argument with a disgruntled DISer. All of us sorta lost our cool, and Sylvia and I later laughed so much about it - it was one of those surreal, "only on the Internet" moments. And the nice thing about it is I have since made peace and friendship with that disgruntled DISer, and we now laugh about that day from time to time. I think Sylvia would have wanted it that way.

I also remember very clearly the day she died. Talking to Dan on the phone and both of us crying. The closeness we felt toward one another, how we reached out to one another, how vulnerable we all felt. Even in death, she really personified what to me the DIS is all about - the kindness of strangers reaching out to lend a helping hand, everyone in the virtual community putting aside differences and coming together - such an incredible phenomenon.

Thanks to Simon for the memoriam, and to Dan for writing the original piece - he was such a good friend to her as he has been to so many. May we always remember Sylvia and her legacy on the DIS.
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